Moving Out Of First POV

[Jerry]

While my story is First Person POV - there is a scene, a small chapter where we follow the exploits of an animal. I'm seeking some suggestions on how best to approach the prose. It wouldn't be in First POV, as this is not a talking animal fantasy. I have thought about perhaps a secondary character's POV (or creating one just for the purpose) watching this animal, but it seems to forced. I thought perhaps switching to Third Person (as I originally wrote it when my entire novel was in Third Limited before), but then it just seems so out of place. The scene has purpose, as the animal poses a threat that is intricate to the plot, but finding the best approach has me a bit handcuffed. Any suggestions, approaches that maybe I have not considered?

 

[A. E. Lowan]

What I would do, and I actually use this for our dream sequences, is I would change up tenses as well. Third Person Limited, Present Tense. This is what that looks like on the page.

~~~

“I don’t know why I’m doing this.” Etienne swirls the dark beer in his coarse, earthen mug, breathing in the yeasty aroma as he takes another deep drink. God, but he loves Bess’s beer. She moves behind him and he feels her warmth against his back, her strong, calloused hands stroking his hair off his face, away from his neck. His hair is so much longer here, as it was then, when they were married.

“Because you love him.” She speaks English, but strange to this modern time, her consonants more guttural, truer to their Germanic roots, each sound tongued in full. He loves the way she speaks. He has not spoken English like this in centuries.

“Love him?” Etienne snorts his denial. “I don’t even know him.”

“Not Senán.”

Etienne falls into silence and lets it draw out. He can never lie to her. He can lie to himself just fine. After over a thousand years, he has gotten very good at lying to himself. But never to her. Not even when she had asked him if she was dying.

 

[Jerry]

Thank you! That's actually a very interesting approach. Makes sense too --

 

[A. E. Lowan]

I think so, too. You can really make it work for animals and communicate that "in the now" state of their minds.

 

[Incanus]

I suppose I'm a kind of POV 'purist'.

If I was reading a first-person POV novel, and an additional POV came up, I would be confused and rather disappointed. A first person POV story is a single POV story, no exceptions. Adding viewpoints makes it a multi-viewpoint story by definition, no matter how little or infrequent.

I know people tinker with POV and there are hybrid kinds out there, seemingly. Speaking only for myself, that would be immersion-breaking, and I would likely put the novel down.

 

[Karlin]

I don't consciously think of POV as I am writing, though it's obviously there. I find that I do shift. There's a narrator who is the main point of view, but sometimes it makes sense to shift, and get the inner thoughts of a character

 

[pmmg]

While my story is First Person POV - there is a scene, a small chapter where we follow the exploits of an animal. I'm seeking some suggestions on how best to approach the prose. It wouldn't be in First POV, as this is not a talking animal fantasy. I have thought about perhaps a secondary character's POV (or creating one just for the purpose) watching this animal, but it seems to forced. I thought perhaps switching to Third Person (as I originally wrote it when my entire novel was in Third Limited before), but then it just seems so out of place. The scene has purpose, as the animal poses a threat that is intricate to the plot, but finding the best approach has me a bit handcuffed. Any suggestions, approaches that maybe I have not considered?

Kill your darling. FInd a way to include this without bringing the animal's perspective into it.

 

[Jerry]

I suppose I'm a kind of POV 'purist'.

If I was reading a first-person POV novel, and an additional POV came up, I would be confused and rather disappointed. A first person POV story is a single POV story, no exceptions. Adding viewpoints makes it a multi-viewpoint story by definition, no matter how little or infrequent.

I know people tinker with POV and there are hybrid kinds out there, seemingly. Speaking only for myself, that would be immersion-breaking, and I would likely put the novel down.

Good advice - and the way I originally felt. But what would be your suggestion - when an 'obvious threat' is moving into the territory - that you want to convey to the reader, that our MC FPOV is nowhere near. Should I delete the scene, redevelop it so only the MC finally sees the threat, even though the threat comes from afar? I've considered trashing that idea - then just have the threat appear, come into view in her hometown, but then it begs the question, how did it get all the way here from there. (as there was an earlier incident/scene elsewhere between the two in a different land). I know I am being ambiguous, but I can only relate it as say when an enemy plans their attack across another land and is now moving in towards the MC's land. Suddenly appearing on the horizon via the MCs POV isn't what I was going for, but is an idea. If you want to reveal the enemies plan, how could you do so via only a one person POV? Thanx--

 

[Jerry]

Kill your darling. FInd a way to include this without bringing the animal's perspective into it.

Kill your darling. FInd a way to include this without bringing the animal's perspective into it.

Agreed. Was trying to wiggle a way out of it - but the scene I wrote suddenly via another's POV seem placed, yet is a character in the story who sees the threat and must warn. I wanted to build tension outside of the current scenario unfolding - of the outside threat -- but didn't want it to be suddenly there. I'll find a way. Oh, my poor darling... once more, that editing red blade. Thx...

 

[pmmg]

but the scene I wrote suddenly via another's POV seem placed,

Then maybe that too needs to be replaced. Trust me, you can rework as scene as many times as needed to make it right.

In fact, I had a scene the took my 20 years to revise until it was right. I spent 19 years thinking I would have to live with it as is.

 

[Incanus]

Good advice - and the way I originally felt. But what would be your suggestion - when an 'obvious threat' is moving into the territory - that you want to convey to the reader, that our MC FPOV is nowhere near. Should I delete the scene, redevelop it so only the MC finally sees the threat, even though the threat comes from afar? I've considered trashing that idea - then just have the threat appear, come into view in her hometown, but then it begs the question, how did it get all the way here from there. (as there was an earlier incident/scene elsewhere between the two in a different land). I know I am being ambiguous, but I can only relate it as say when an enemy plans their attack across another land and is now moving in towards the MC's land. Suddenly appearing on the horizon via the MCs POV isn't what I was going for, but is an idea. If you want to reveal the enemies plan, how could you do so via only a one person POV? Thanx--

It's tricky for sure, but I'll try a few general suggestions.

If you have several other items in the story where you think you could benefit from additional POV's, then consider changing the whole piece to a limited third or omniscient POV.

However, if this is the ONLY instance where you need to deal with something like this, then consider different ways to get it across without breaking the POV.

Indeed, trying to work this out while preserving the POV may even yield a very creative solution. Could you perhaps change the nature of the threat (or one aspect of the threat), or the method by which the POV character learns of it?

If it is a matter of getting info to the MC, try considering every possible way the MC might learn of this threat. Maybe even consider bizarre or abstract stuff like dreams, prophecies, visions, gods, blind seers, etc. Maybe the threat begins only as some abstraction that the MC can dismiss, only later to learn it was something to take seriously.

I get stuck on figuring stuff like this out for days at a time, sometimes.

Hope some of this helps---good luck!

 

[Prince of Spires]

I'm with pmmg in the Kill your darlings camp. If you only have 1 scene in a first person novel that's not from the first person pov, then you're cheating as an author, and I as a reader would feel cheated. The whole point of a first person POV is that we can only know what that person knows. Jumping out of it ruins that.

There are a few options you could consider. If you're writing first person past tense, as in, you have the POV character narrate his life story to the reader, then you could foreshadow it. You can mention something like "I didn't know it at the time, but the animal was about to show up. If I had known, I would have acted differently." This is a great way to create that tension in 1st person past tense.

You could also just have the threat show up. You then get the tension from the surprise of the character and how they're going to fix the issue, not from knowing there's a bomb about to explode.

Reworking the threat as mentioned is definitely a possibility. Change it to something where the suspense matters less.

Lastly, you could also just have a messenger show up and tell the character the animal is approaching. Have someone flee from the thing and run past the POV character, and have him tell the character what's happening. You could even rewrite the whole passage as an exchange between this character and the main character. If you need as little time as possible between the character finding out and the animal show up, then just have the animal there the moment the messenger stops talking.

If you must really have the animal scene, then I would tell it in third person omniscient. That's probably the best pov for this.

 

[Devor]

Agreed. Was trying to wiggle a way out of it - but the scene I wrote suddenly via another's POV seem placed, yet is a character in the story who sees the threat and must warn. I wanted to build tension outside of the current scenario unfolding - of the outside threat -- but didn't want it to be suddenly there. I'll find a way. Oh, my poor darling... once more, that editing red blade. Thx...

Since you immediately liked the idea earlier, I would suggest you rewrite the scene the way Lowan described, show it to someone, and then decide whether or not to cut it.

Kill your darlings is the right basic advice here. I won't argue otherwise. But you have to try weird things and experiment as an author if you want to get really good at this. There's a time where you have to take the basic advice. But if that time is every time, then your book will end up basic.

 

[pmmg]

If you only have 1 scene in a first person novel that's not from the first person pov, then you're cheating as an author, and I as a reader would feel cheated.

Prince said it better. You can do it. And you will only be a better writer when you do.

 

[Lobotomizer]

there could be someone tracking the animal perhaps