Rosemary Tea
Auror
My personal experience (admittedly from some fairly unpleasant conflicts around the world) is that men and women can be equally as bad as each other when it comes to using violence against others. I've heard a woman say that another woman had deserved to be raped because she came from the "wrong" ethnic group. At that point rape isn't just about sexism, it's also about the use of power to suppress another group.
It's both. A woman saying another woman deserves to be raped is speaking from internalized sexism.
That's not to say it's not also about ethnicity and other -isms.
I agree that lack of patriarchy would not mean lack of violence, although it might change who uses violence, in what ways, under what circumstances. Women can be physically aggressive if given permission to be. There are also non-physical ways to be violent. Perhaps a non-patriarchal (or less patriarchal) society would see more verbal violence. Which also exists and is so subtle it's often missed.