I see you've met my wife.
-
Welcome to the Fantasy Writing Forums. Register Now to join us!
Anyone writing characters with diverse genders or preferences?
- Thread starter BearBear
- Start date
The Dark One
Auror
Dan Brown hasn't...I see you've met my wife.
Prince of Spires
Auror
well... Not totally normal... Something to do with eating people if I remember correctly.
But he was brilliantly written. He was well spoken, manipulative, and quick to make connections. Everything about him radiated intelligence.
Finchbearer
Istar
Psychopaths are a passing interest of mine…you know the saying, not all psychopaths are serial killers, but all serial killers are almost certainly psychopaths.
Many surgeons and other highly intelligent people are ‘functioning psychopaths’ and might not have even known that’s what sets them apart from other people. They can feign empathy but can never feel it.
Back to autism which in the other hand commonly gets associated with lack of empathy, is misunderstood. Many autistic people are highly empathic, but just might not be able to communicate that. When writing either a psychopathic character or an autistic character, it behooves us to remember that psychopathy and autism are NOT mutually exclusive.
On intelligence, Einstein was famously thought to have had autism, along with Newton and probably a litany of other geniuses. Although Einstein's IQ was not over 200…
Many surgeons and other highly intelligent people are ‘functioning psychopaths’ and might not have even known that’s what sets them apart from other people. They can feign empathy but can never feel it.
Back to autism which in the other hand commonly gets associated with lack of empathy, is misunderstood. Many autistic people are highly empathic, but just might not be able to communicate that. When writing either a psychopathic character or an autistic character, it behooves us to remember that psychopathy and autism are NOT mutually exclusive.
On intelligence, Einstein was famously thought to have had autism, along with Newton and probably a litany of other geniuses. Although Einstein's IQ was not over 200…
The Dark One
Auror
Newton was a weirdo. I read that he stayed a virgin his entire life as he believed that loss of semen would drain his intelligence.
Einstein (by all accounts) was entirely the opposite.
Einstein (by all accounts) was entirely the opposite.
Finchbearer
Istar
Delightful.
Queshire
Istar
So Newton's an asexual icon. Gotcha.
Newton, Kant, Tesla, Simone Weil. Lots of clever celibates throughout history. Perhaps we would call most of them Asexual now, though I doubt they were. It seems more of an intentional decision on their parts.
Gallio
Minstrel
And therefore all my MCs are gay.
Being autistic, one thing I find very interesting is empathy. I have it. A lot. It just manifests in me a bit differently than in neurotypical people and most people wouldn't recognize it if they saw it, but that's okay because it takes all kinds. I can also turn it off and on.
But on the intelligence front, I've noticed watching my wife operate and being pattern oriented myself, that intelligent individuals have a strong tendency to draw conclusions from incomplete data. She's usually correct, but not always. And intelligent or no, she's only as good as her education. Like all of us, the more we learn, the better prepared we are to tackle problems from different angles, often seeing solutions that less educated people can't, simply by virtue of having learned critical thinking and reasoning at upper levels of study.
And she also thought ducks have teeth. Daffy and Donald have teeth. I didn't know this was in her brain until about 10 years ago! Shows that even the smartest person/character in the room doesn't know everything, and we can play with that to increase conflict and tension... and comedy.
But on the intelligence front, I've noticed watching my wife operate and being pattern oriented myself, that intelligent individuals have a strong tendency to draw conclusions from incomplete data. She's usually correct, but not always. And intelligent or no, she's only as good as her education. Like all of us, the more we learn, the better prepared we are to tackle problems from different angles, often seeing solutions that less educated people can't, simply by virtue of having learned critical thinking and reasoning at upper levels of study.
And she also thought ducks have teeth. Daffy and Donald have teeth. I didn't know this was in her brain until about 10 years ago! Shows that even the smartest person/character in the room doesn't know everything, and we can play with that to increase conflict and tension... and comedy.
The Dark One
Auror
Yes, wives are interesting...
My mind and my wife's mind are utterly different, which is perhaps why I find her endlessly fascinating. She doesn't get metaphors and she doesn't get jokes. Or rather... she gets them but doesn't see the point of metaphors and doesn't understand why jokes are funny. Her own sense of humour is (to me) utterly banal but she'll squeal with laughter while I'm shrugging.
I guess the feeling's mutual.
At the same time she is a very high achiever. Complete (to me) strangers stop me in the street and say: your wife is the rock upon which I live my life. (Me too, I respond, wondering who they are.) The media consults her all the time. Politicians invite her to join focus groups or appear at Senate Estimates Committees. Everyone wants her approval.
And yet she constantly denigrates herself and asks why I'm interested in her given my creative brain, which she finds both daunting and inspiring (she tells me).
And yet, she absolutely has what I call The Poet's Eye. She wrote a piece for her brother's funeral (he died just after we met) which blew me away with its insight, humanity, and sheer artistry. It reminded me of WH Auden's tribute to his lover (Funeral Blues) - it was that good.
I don't know that I could match that. Maybe I'm too artistic?
My mind and my wife's mind are utterly different, which is perhaps why I find her endlessly fascinating. She doesn't get metaphors and she doesn't get jokes. Or rather... she gets them but doesn't see the point of metaphors and doesn't understand why jokes are funny. Her own sense of humour is (to me) utterly banal but she'll squeal with laughter while I'm shrugging.
I guess the feeling's mutual.
At the same time she is a very high achiever. Complete (to me) strangers stop me in the street and say: your wife is the rock upon which I live my life. (Me too, I respond, wondering who they are.) The media consults her all the time. Politicians invite her to join focus groups or appear at Senate Estimates Committees. Everyone wants her approval.
And yet she constantly denigrates herself and asks why I'm interested in her given my creative brain, which she finds both daunting and inspiring (she tells me).
And yet, she absolutely has what I call The Poet's Eye. She wrote a piece for her brother's funeral (he died just after we met) which blew me away with its insight, humanity, and sheer artistry. It reminded me of WH Auden's tribute to his lover (Funeral Blues) - it was that good.
I don't know that I could match that. Maybe I'm too artistic?
LittleOwlbear
Minstrel
I mean lot of autistic people show their empathy very clearly too, neurotypical people just communicate differently. When I try to show empathy I tell them a situation where I felt similar and relate to them, some neurotypical people think that's egocentric, or the best way to connect with people is talking about your interest right away, neurotypical people be like: how about not skipping the smalltalk protocol? xD
I do that, too, and it can be hard to stop and remember that most of the time when someone confides in me, they aren't looking for solidarity or for shared experience or even for a solution to their problem. They just want someone to listen. And man, is that hard, because when presented with a problem my first and strongest impulse is to help by solving it. Apparently this is an autism thing?
That's a very interesting description of your wife. She sounds a bit like mine. Absolutely brilliant.
Is your wife by any chance autistic? It's the issue with metaphors and punchlines that's making me curious. Combined with being a high achiever, and I'd hazard a guess and say she's a champion at masking, but it wears her out and she needs quiet or comfort and familiarity to recharge. I'm the same way. So is my way-smarter-than-me wife. lolAlso, no such thing as too artistic... well, no, that's not true, but we don't see too much of that in Speculative Fiction. Thank goodness.
Finchbearer
Istar
I would say that for many (but not all) autistic people, their levels of empathy can be almost detrimental to their own personal health and wellbeing. Maybe it manifests itself in people pleasing, giving, helping and over-compensating, and feeling other people’s emotions so acutely that it can take a huge emotional toll.
Demesnedenoir
Myth Weaver
Some of the most intelligent people I've known were highly educated and otherwise dumb as bricks, while some of the other smartest people I ever knew didn't carry high school diplomas.
My guess is I'm somewhere on the functioning psychopath scale, heh heh.
My guess is I'm somewhere on the functioning psychopath scale, heh heh.
The Dark One
Auror
Aren't we all?
The Dark One
Auror
I sincerely doubt it. Mind you my understanding of autism is very limited. She is exceedingly empathic, thoughtful, considerate - always anticipating the wants and needs of others. A naturally social and sociable creature. I understand that autistic people can struggle with aspects of these things, but maybe others here have better insight?That's a very interesting description of your wife. She sounds a bit like mine. Absolutely brilliant.
I'll start off by saying that when you hear the term 'autism spectrum,' what's really meant is 'color wheel' but spectrum is simpler and easier for laypersons to grasp. I have a lot of empathy, especially for animals and small children. It just manifests a bit differently because we have a different operating system. I can also mask so well that I had a public professional life for years getting people jobs (and managing strippers for a bit, which is remarkably similar to being a staffing recruiter) and meeting with clients who thought I was making eye content and wearing suits and cute shoes. But it was so exhausting that eventually I crashed. Hard. So yeah, it's fair to say I struggle. But I also have a lot of comorbidities in my mental health that makes it much harder for me. Either way, I still love people and I love telling stories. It's just not as easy as it could be.
It took a long time for me to understand humor, and my mom was a satirist. Funny as hell with a wickedly sharp mind. It was reading Stranger in a Strange Land that made the connection for me, and that connection was that comedy is tragedy... with timing. I didn't get metaphors early, but they eventually grew in as my mom trained me to write. Nothing came to me naturally, but once it did I was able to grok it and keep going.
I know that there are a lot of autistics who think that being autistic somehow gives them a pass on rude behavior. It doesn't. We're still people, not the robots or the damaged and broken that we're often seen as. And as people it's our responsibility to learn to navigate society, just on our terms. We have unique skills to offer with these gifts we've been given, and I look forward to seeing how that develops.
Queshire
Istar
Speaking of Autistic empathy.... Palworld was recently brought up in another game, and I must admit, one of the biggest things that have turned me off of the game is the fact that at the start of the game there's a good chance you'll be taking a wooden stick to just beat the absolute crap out of a cute chicken ball in order to weaken it enough to capture it. Bit much for me personally.
pmmg
Myth Weaver
Yeah, enslaving pokemon and forcing them to endlessly fight in cage matches is much more humane.
