BWFoster78
Myth Weaver
When I write in 3rd person, my tendency is to distance myself from the POV character to a much greater extend than I desire. I'm really struggling at the moment with bringing that POV closer. Any suggestions/tips in general for this?
I also have a specific question that's related. I use this phrase currently in Power of the Mages:
In the scene, Xan is riding a horse and hasn't had a lot of sleep. He's been nodding off and needs to wake up. Contextually, "his eyes brightened" is being used to mean that his mind cleared from the fog of extreme fatigue. One of my beta readers had this comment:
How would you better describe this to get a tighter POV?
Thanks in advance for your assistance.
I also have a specific question that's related. I use this phrase currently in Power of the Mages:
His eyes brightened at the challenge of solving a puzzle.
In the scene, Xan is riding a horse and hasn't had a lot of sleep. He's been nodding off and needs to wake up. Contextually, "his eyes brightened" is being used to mean that his mind cleared from the fog of extreme fatigue. One of my beta readers had this comment:
Again, this is a distancing observation. Describe what Xan feels.
How would you better describe this to get a tighter POV?
Thanks in advance for your assistance.