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Diversity Lioness misfire?

Discussion in 'World Building' started by Graylorne, Mar 20, 2015.

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  1. Mindfire

    Mindfire Istar

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    Maybe because he has a strong personal connection with her and wants to honor that? Some people prefer the stability of a commited companionship to the thrills of philandering. :D
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2015
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  2. Jabrosky

    Jabrosky Banned

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    But they're only as stable as the individuals involved, and it's been my experience that people's personalities, beliefs, and interests can "age" over the years just like physical appearance, sometimes even at a faster rate. And when those changes take a turn for the worse, they're even more painful because they aren't superficial. Someone you think is sweet, caring, and fun to be around can devolve into a toxic, raging lunatic you can't stand anymore. In other cases they lose whatever commonality you once shared, so there's no use in sticking around them anymore. So-called "inner beauty" is every bit as transient if not more so than physical sex appeal.
     
  3. Mindfire

    Mindfire Istar

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    All I can say is that your experience of relationships seems, from my point of view, to have been unfortunate. I've been blessed to witness couples that stick together for decades, including my own parents. I hope to do the same. Not saying it's easy. But few things worth doing are.
     
  4. Jabrosky

    Jabrosky Banned

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    Your parents stuck around because they knew you and your siblings (didn't you say you had a sister?) would be screwed if they didn't. The same could probably be said for my mom and dad after they had me and my big sister. But while I've never been in a relationship with any physical attraction involved (though not for lack of trying), I have experienced more than one friend going insane and turning into complete monsters who hated my guts. It's made me very cynical of emotional bonding, since it requires a static connection in spite of humanity's dynamic psychology.

    Is there such a thing as love? I do believe it exists. It's the everlasting ideal I have lost faith in.
     
  5. Mindfire

    Mindfire Istar

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    That is very cynical indeed, I'd say. I also know older couples who are still together despite all their children being adults who've left home. What do you make of them? And I think the idea that love is static is part of what causes it to fail in so many cases. Love isn't static, it's dynamic. It has to be. Romantic feelings are only the sweet and fluffy part. Beyond that it's about both people choosing, every day, to love the other person for who they are- regardless of change- and to be a person who is worthy of that same love and loyalty. That's what it means to put someone else before yourself, and it's what makes the whole thing hang together.

    Wow we are so off topic it's ridiculous. Lol.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2015
  6. Gryphos

    Gryphos Auror

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    First off, your assertion that kids are screwed if the parents don't stick together is completely false. Children all over are raised by single or separated parents (I myself grew up with divorced parents).

    Secondly, if you're in a long-term relationship and the other person changes so much that you don't feel you can love them anymore, nothing's forcing you to stay together. Divorces are a thing, you know.

    Thirdly, I disagree that emotional bonding is in any way a static connection. It's a dynamic, fluid connection that changes and adapts and grows.
     
  7. Jabrosky

    Jabrosky Banned

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    This is true, but I still believe it's a lot easier to take care of a kid if you have someone helping you. A lot of single parents out there have problems due to getting their plates too full by doing all the work and childcare.

    Supposedly an emotional connection develops because a couple of people perceive commonality between each other, like shared interests or opinions for example. Get rid of that commonality and what is left to bind those individuals together?

    I will admit a lot of widespread ideas about love, emotion, and inter-personal relationships don't make sense to me, or that I can't relate to them personally. Maybe it's another one of my weird psychological quirks at work.
     
  8. Nimue

    Nimue Auror

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    Wow. I was already sick and tired of this thread, and you've gone and made it worse. This is a discussion about someone's book. The OP already asked you to stop derailing, Jabrosky, and posts condoning pedophilia is way beyond the boundaries of what should appear on this forum.

    Please, start a separate thread about how marriage is bullshit and 16-year-olds are hot, so we can all avoid it.
     
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  9. Devor

    Devor Fiery Keeper of the Hat Moderator

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    I'm at a loss for how you would think it's your place to say something like that, Jabrosky.


    My wife and I started talking seriously about marriage within a few months of meeting. That was almost ten years ago.

    I've changed and she has changed. That's life.

    But we haven't really changed. I was not one person who changed into another person. Neither of us were ever a static thing to begin with. We were always people in motion. I was always changing - before, during, and after I met her. And so was she.

    And it was important to understand that. Where is this person going? What do I see in her? What am I showing her about myself? What does she see about me and where I'm going? How are our paths changing because of each other?

    That's part of the fun of being in a trusting and loving relationship. You find yourself changing because of the person you've opened up to. And I continue to be amazed by her. You have to trust before you can be surprised.

    I didn't fall for a person because she was awesome or made me feel awesome. I fell for someone because I liked the way that being with her was changing me. And because I liked sharing more with her.

    Would I ditch my kids if I could? In a heartbeat. (If you think I'm serious, you need help.) But only if I could take her with me.
     
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  10. Jabrosky

    Jabrosky Banned

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    For what it's worth, I personally don't get off underage sex. But OK, sorry for the diversion.
     
  11. Mindfire

    Mindfire Istar

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    Update: Unfortunately, I haven't been able to read Graylorne's book. I found out my grandmother passed and between that, work, and other matters I haven't been able to sit down and read it. However, I fully intend to finish reading it and give my opinions. I can't give a precise date, but I hope to be done sometime next week.
     
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  12. Legendary Sidekick

    Legendary Sidekick The HAM'ster Moderator

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    Sorry for your loss, Mindfire.
     
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  13. Graylorne

    Graylorne Archmage

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    I understand. My condolences, Mindfire.
     
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  14. Penpilot

    Penpilot Staff Article Team

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    Sorry for the bad news Mindfire. Take care.
     
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  15. buyjupiter

    buyjupiter Maester

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    I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences to you and your fam.
     
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  16. Philip Overby

    Philip Overby Staff Article Team

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    Sorry to hear as well, Mindfire. My condolences.
     
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  17. Graylorne

    Graylorne Archmage

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    I'm not about to post every review I get on the forums, but the previous one hurt so much that I want to give you this one, too. It is quite the opposite :).
     
  18. Mindfire

    Mindfire Istar

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    Thanks, guys. :)
     
  19. Darkwriter

    Darkwriter Scribe

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    My sincere condolences, Mindfire. Handle your business; nothing here to rush back for.
     
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  20. Darkwriter

    Darkwriter Scribe

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    What she said. Wow, indeed.
     
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