How do I deal with dialogue?

[Tom]

How do you deal with dialogue in epic fantasy?

I'm struggling with this right now. When my characters are talking amongst themselves, they use simple, almost colloquial language, but when meeting someone, expressing thanks, or something else important, they revert to a more formal address that reminds my test readers of the language in LOTR. They like it, but it annoys me.

Also, I'm writing a character with a regional dialect--mine, to be specific. My region has a distinct dialect that some people have told me sounds like a more subtle version of the West Texas twang. The G gets dropped off most words ending in 'ing', some words ending in hard consonants have the consonants dropped, and words tend to run together so "what are you up to?" becomes "whatchaupto?" and so on. The dreaded 'ain't' is also used frequently. How do I use my colorful local dialect in my story without it becoming too frustrating to read?

Another character speaks broken English (or at least my world's equivalent of English) and I don't know how to write it without it ending up sounding like the degrading way they used to make American Indians sound--"Him make good stew", etc. Any suggestions?

How do I deal with this broad range of language without it confusing my readers?

 

[BWFoster78]

Dialect is extremely difficult to do well. At this point in my writing career, I wouldn't even begin to attempt it.

In the best case scenario, it adds to your story by making it easier for the reader to immerse themselves in the setting. The Help is an excellent example of a book where it was used to advantage.

More often, it's simply a distraction and an annoyance. If you feel you absolutely have to include it, my best advice is to find some books where it was done well and follow the example of those authors. Be prepared, however, to spend a lot of your time and effort on getting it right.

To me, the benefit vs cost on dialect makes it just not worth it unless you happen to be particularly good at it.

 

[Chilari]

Adding to what Mr Foster has recommended (all good advice), I'd say to understate it. Use modified dialogue sparingly - don't go overboard with the ain'ts and whachauptos, just sprinkle in enough that the reader gets the idea. For the character who doesn't speak pseudo-English well, consider using less comfortable syntax - move the words around so the subject follows the verb or the object and subject are arranged different, etc. Instead of saying "The princess is in another castle," try "Another castle is where the princess is." Or make words singular where they should be plural and vice versa, drop "the" occasionally, that sort of thing. Again, sprinkle, don't overdo it, preserve the meaning and avoid Yoda-speak, and you'll be fine.

 

[JSDR]

Hi Tom!

Robert Bevan, forum member here and Indie-Author of CRITICAL FAILURES, did a wonderful post on dialects in dialogue here:
Work In Progress: Dialogue Part 5
There's a few other dialogue posts there that might help.

Personally, I've found the best way to express dialects is to write it from the character's POV and then have a Beta look it over.
As for the characters talking one way amongst themselves and talking a different way to strangers or people of a different age group. It's actually normal that this happens. Sounds like you've got good insight into their mannerisms.

Think about it. Would you speak to your parents the same way you speak to your friends? "'Sup mom, 'sup dad? I totes liked that casserole. Thanks for the shoutout to come over for dinner."
Or would you talk to your coworkers like you talk to your significant other? "Hey babe, mind passing me that TSP report? Thanks, honey. You looks hella fine in that tie."

As long as it works for your readers, I wouldn't mess with something that don't need fixin'.

 

[Chessie]

Tom, diverse reading has really helped me see different styles of dialogue creation. The simpler, the better, it seems these days. I read an interesting blog on writeaboutdragons.com that suggested letting the dialogue do the work itself. You should check it out.