How to depict 'earned' arrogance?

[Naruzeldamaster]

I'm not talking about the dickish arrogance where people see that everyone is below them and are idiots.
More just, can talk the talk, and can walk the walk to back it up. Arrogance is the only word I can think to describe it, but it's a totally different vibe from straight confidence. (Before anyone asks I'm not going for a Feme Fatal with her either, hence the question) Earned is another key word, she's not the type to just flaunt with an attitude.

The character I'm writing isn't particularly mean/evil in spirit either, she just has a lot of confidence in herself. (which drives her insane (in the 'dammit that's actually cute' way) when she meets someone capable of holding their own against her) I want her to appear to have no swagger/skill but when she actually backs it up you go 'oh, makes sense'

I kind of want to show this side of her without really having a negative impression of her.

Basically I kind of want to do a Legolas-like character without actually copying Legolas lol

 

[CupofJoe]

I'd look at how athletes at the top of their game act.
There can seem to be a self-focus on how they see the world. There is what makes them great and the rest is all but irrelevant to them. This can come across as uncaring and/or egotistical, [and it might be] but it is also because their world, their reality, is all about one thing.

 

[The Dark One]

One of my own favourite characters was excellent fun to write. He's very arrogant - revels in his own arrogance - but also very smart and successful. Readers are supposed to dislike him (and they certainly do) until everything changes...

His quintessential line is in my signature below.

 

[Rexenm]

If you were to give them some kind of disability, then maybe they would be stunned into obedience, or maybe a dark figure in their life - with obvious homage to being different. I get curious about that word, arrogance. I don’t know what it means, and people have different interpretations. To have a religious outlook on it would also give that added spice of mice, but there might be overtones of drag or trans behaviour.

 

[Prince of Spires]

generally I think there are 2 approaches:
Either they know they are the best and they don't need to tell everyone. They just radiate their competence and that's enough for them. A bit like you see in some very wealthy and influential people. They don't need to show their expensive clothes and jewelry to proof to the world that they are rich.

Or, they take every opportunity to remind everyone how great they are. Some people need this constant confirmation from those around them. They will mention previous successes any chance they get or just tell people they're better than them at X.

Another common trait plenty of succesful people have is to assume that amazing skill X means they are great at everything and they'll just approach Y as if they are very skilled at that as well.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

Agree with everybody. You're looking for confidence, not arrogance. Arrogance will tell you all about how much they rock, at every given opportunity. They may even lie about their accomplishments to make themselves look even better. These people suck and are annoying. They also often have some sort of mental disorder, like narcissism or an attachment disorder, that negatively impacts their ability to feel empathy.

Confidence, on the other hand, doesn't need mentioning by the confident one. It's not looking at the explosion. It's not explaining the joke, because they don't have to. It's nailing your cool roll with a natural 20 (totally awesome gaming thing). It's failing, but getting up, wiping off the dirt, and going again. Confidence is walking into any place like they own it, and everyone thinks they do because confidence. Confidence may get into a fight, but they don't start it and they always finish it, but never gloat. Confidence is also extremely sexy.

Arrogant will find humor in the suffering of others. Confidence laughs at those in power and extends a hand to those in need.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Agree with everybody. You're looking for confidence, not arrogance. Arrogance will tell you all about how much they rock, at every given opportunity. They may even lie about their accomplishments to make themselves look even better. These people suck and are annoying. They also often have some sort of mental disorder, like narcissism or an attachment disorder, that negatively impacts their ability to feel empathy.

Confidence, on the other hand, doesn't need mentioning by the confident one. It's not looking at the explosion. It's not explaining the joke, because they don't have to. It's nailing your cool roll with a natural 20 (totally awesome gaming thing). It's failing, but getting up, wiping off the dirt, and going again. Confidence is walking into any place like they own it, and everyone thinks they do because confidence. Confidence may get into a fight, but they don't start it and they always finish it, but never gloat. Confidence is also extremely sexy.

Arrogant will find humor in the suffering of others. Confidence laughs at those in power and extends a hand to those in need.

That's kinda why I said arrogance wasn't the right word but it's the closest thing to what I'm trying to achieve. She has confidence and a LOT of it, because often she can back it up (even if she's going off against Kitsune with more tails than her) even if she burns herself out doing it. I'm not sure it's straight confidence though, more just knowing what she's capable of and not being afraid to back it up. (even if it takes multiple attempts, she spent 100 years trying to learn how to slow down time, which is generally 'seen' as a 3 tailed Kitsune thing even tho 2 and 1 tailed Kitsune can with enough grit)

The how many tails she has/doesn't have is one of the things driving her nature, she's trying to overturn the ideology of her people that 1 tailed kitsune aren't worth the energy. Which is kind of hard because even two tailed ones are kinda disrespected by Kitsune with more tails. Although both her and the reader learn later that this is because Kitsune with more tails are exponentially older/more experienced. ( It can be up to a thousand years before a Kitsune gets their next tail, through training or otherwise) A lot of younger kitsune (it's not just a 'her' thing) tend to fixate on obtaining more tails quickly to prove themselves, some even go insane doing it.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

So what you're looking for is either pride or known capability. So if it's pride, she looks at others and considers them inferior in a particular regard compared to her in some way because she knows she's worked harder or whatever. If it's more that she's self assured of her ability in some respect she studies others and perhaps sees their flaws or weaknesses. So maybe if it's fighting prowess she sees others and notices their particular stride, swagger or muscling, but perhaps notices they aren't alert or are looking in the wrong direction.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[Finchbearer]

I think it is really dependent on the type of female character you’re trying to depict, and the time period in which your story is set - or time period it’s inspired by. Yes, there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence, but it all depends on how you depict the character in question.

Generally, in real life and therefore in fiction, arrogant women never really go down well. Physical appearances are still judged, and if you’re trying to depict a cute attractive female who displays arrogance, well she might just come off as bitchy. And you don’t want that.

It’ll be in the way the holds herself, her skill and her demeanour - but she ain’t gonna be cute. She’ll have to appear strong, unwavering and probably older or mature in age. A twenty year old woman just isn’t going to be able to display that sort of clout compared to a thirty or forty year old.

Time period: back in older times, in situations where you might have a powerful woman, going into a room where you’re on the edge of arrogance might have prevented you from losing the control in the room, but remember that generally women tend to have the lower hand in a room full of men unless they hold a particular kind of power. Confidence is a must, along with intelligence, and status. Cunning is also a word that often gets tied to women who use their brain to climb the social ladder (like a pirate) or otherwise they were born at the top of it (like a Queen). But ‘cunning’ also depicts a malicious sort of intelligence that has kept women oppressed too (like a ‘witch’).

If it’s set in the modern day, then you’ll potentially be better off dialling down the arrogance scale and sticking with confidence.

And don’t forget to represent what that means in terms of what it also means to be a woman. If you have any female readers, you will not want to misrepresent your female characters by framing them through a male gaze. I’m over here assuming you’re male, or on the male end of the spectrum, but if you’re female then it’s an opportunity to write a compelling female character that’s really going to speak to a female readership on all sorts of levels.

Yes, many women in history have used their sexuality to get ahead, but many also haven’t. Arguably, that’s also a fine line. Sexuality also holds power, depending on how it’s portrayed.

However you decide to write your character, I don’t think she’s going to have that confident arrogance if she’s also cute. Those things just don’t go hand in hand. She’s going to be powerful and strong, but not cute.

Cute connotes unexpected bursts of power, then back to cuteness. The kind of strength that comes from nowhere, ‘cause we all thought she was just a cute lil girl’. Actually, cute is boring as hell.

 

[Prince of Spires]

One of the things with confidence and arrogance is that different people will have a different perception of a person. This will go for both the characters populating the story and also your readers. What one sees as confident another will see as arrogant.

And of course, it can even be both. A confident person could be having a bad day and react arrogantly to something when challenged about their skill, while an arrogant person can still be confident in their ability and be viewed by other people as such.

If you're looking for real-world examples, you should look at top atlethes, musicians, or billionairs and how people see them. Because they tend to be so public and everyone has an opinion on them, you can see this play out in real time.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

Just babbling here, maybe something will assist.

I've kind of broken it down differently over the years because I was often told I was "arrogant," but I never boasted about a damned thing. What people were actually seeing (I think) was an I'm doing my thing attitude that didn't cozy up or kiss ass to get along, but I was quiet at the same time. I stood straight, didn't lower my eyes, I looked past and through people, and got called arrogant... often. I was confused. So at some point I started breaking down meanings differently. At one point in my youth I determined that I didn't mind arrogant people who just went about their way without a care for what others thought (arrogant by my definition) and that I dislike (overly) cocky people.

Cocky is the word I use for boasters, and to be blunt, I think most athletes at the top of their game trend cocky, not a quiet confidence, in knowing their greatness. Cocky in this case might be necessary, a sort of armor against inevitable imperfection. Nowadays athletes like this have trained PR people massaging their message and blah, blah, blah so what's real is unknowable and hidden under polish in a lot of cases, or full of false modesty.

So, I tend to think of arrogance as a certain way of carrying yourself. A kid who brought my daughter home after a football game one time stated rather bluntly, when I asked, about his playing football that he was a four-sport athlete. The way he said it to me was a respectable "arrogant" without at all being cocky and he had the walk without the swagger. I've met many rich people who were "arrogant" in their carriage but you'd never know they had money, while I've met cocky assholes with more debt than dimes. I've met arrogant people where arrogance is a defense mechanism, and the same goes for cocky people. True quiet confidence in all situations is rare and tends to require age.

One of my favorite reviews mentioned how I write "modest heroes," and that wasn't something I'd thought about. I liked it. It might even be an expression of my ideal self.

 

[Super Fantasy]

What kind of character is she?

 

[The Dark One]

However you decide to write your character, I don’t think she’s going to have that confident arrogance if she’s also cute. Those things just don’t go hand in hand. She’s going to be powerful and strong, but not cute.

Cute connotes unexpected bursts of power, then back to cuteness. The kind of strength that comes from nowhere, ‘cause we all thought she was just a cute lil girl’. Actually, cute is boring as hell.

I don't get this. Why can't cute be arrogant?

You could probably have a bit of fun with a character who was cute but also arrogant. Cute is an appearance - arrogant is an attitude or a bearing.

 

[The Dark One]

Just babbling here, maybe something will assist.

I've kind of broken it down differently over the years because I was often told I was "arrogant," but I never boasted about a damned thing. What people were actually seeing (I think) was an I'm doing my thing attitude that didn't cozy up or kiss ass to get along, but I was quiet at the same time. I stood straight, didn't lower my eyes, I looked past and through people, and got called arrogant... often. I was confused. So at some point I started breaking down meanings differently. At one point in my youth I determined that I didn't mind arrogant people who just went about their way without a care for what others thought (arrogant by my definition) and that I dislike (overly) cocky people.

Cocky is the word I use for boasters, and to be blunt, I think most athletes at the top of their game trend cocky, not a quiet confidence, in knowing their greatness. Cocky in this case might be necessary, a sort of armor against inevitable imperfection. Nowadays athletes like this have trained PR people massaging their message and blah, blah, blah so what's real is unknowable and hidden under polish in a lot of cases, or full of false modesty.

So, I tend to think of arrogance as a certain way of carrying yourself. A kid who brought my daughter home after a football game one time stated rather bluntly, when I asked, about his playing football that he was a four-sport athlete. The way he said it to me was a respectable "arrogant" without at all being cocky and he had the walk without the swagger. I've met many rich people who were "arrogant" in their carriage but you'd never know they had money, while I've met cocky assholes with more debt than dimes. I've met arrogant people where arrogance is a defense mechanism, and the same goes for cocky people. True quiet confidence in all situations is rare and tends to require age.

One of my favorite reviews mentioned how I write "modest heroes," and that wasn't something I'd thought about. I liked it. It might even be an expression of my ideal self.

Interesting.

For me arrogance comes down to a belief in your own superiority - or at least the superiority / inherent rightness of your opinions, mixed with a willingness to manifest your superiority in words or actions.

This can take myriad forms so a person could be arrogant in one aspect of their life, but not necessarily others.

Confidence, of course, can be perceived as arrogance and that's probably what DDN has run into. I certainly have.

One of my sisters accuses anyone who disagrees with her of arrogance - failing to appreciate a rather delicious irony.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

I was taking it from the perspective of what are people seeing in me? Of course, I've always been told to "quit looking at me like I'm stupid before" when that was not my intent... nature may have just cursed my face with a certain unpleasantness, heh heh.

"You're arrogant."

"No, you're just too stupid to realize I'm right."

Mmmm, a person could have fun with this all day.

Interesting.

For me arrogance comes down to a belief in your own superiority - or at least the superiority / inherent rightness of your opinions, mixed with a willingness to manifest your superiority in words or actions.

This can take myriad forms so a person could be arrogant in one aspect of their life, but not necessarily others.

Confidence, of course, can be perceived as arrogance and that's probably what DDN has run into. I certainly have.

One of my sisters accuses anyone who disagrees with her of arrogance - failing to appreciate a rather delicious irony.

 

[Finchbearer]

I don't get this. Why can't cute be arrogant?

You could probably have a bit of fun with a character who was cute but also arrogant. Cute is an appearance - arrogant is an attitude or a bearing.

In answering the OP’s question, who wanted to know if ‘earned arrogance’ in his female character could be done, or how it could be done, I never said it can’t be done, just that it’s unlikely. You can certainly have a female character who is both ‘cute’ and arrogant all at the same time, but I also think they’re very unlikely to be taken seriously in any form, especially if they’re going to be overly sexualised. That’s the same in real life too.

Earned arrogance however to me connoted a type of over-confidence that is passed off successfully, but I still don’t think this character is likely to be seen as ‘cute’ at the same time, because the definition of cute also means that someone would have to be endearing, sweet or charming, and if I read a character who a writer was trying to make into all these things…I’d roll my f***ing eyes.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

In answering the OP’s question, who wanted to know if ‘earned arrogance’ in his female character could be done, or how it could be done, I never said it can’t be done, just that it’s unlikely. You can certainly have a female character who is both ‘cute’ and arrogant all at the same time, but I also think they’re very unlikely to be taken seriously in any form, especially if they’re going to be overly sexualised. That’s the same in real life too.

Earned arrogance however to me connoted a type of over-confidence that is passed off successfully, but I still don’t think this character is likely to be seen as ‘cute’ at the same time, because the definition of cute also means that someone would have to be endearing, sweet or charming, and if I read a character who a writer was trying to make into all these things…I’d roll my f***ing eyes.

I think you make some excellent points. This would be extremely difficult for an aspiring writer to tackle, but that being said I also think it would be a worthy challenge in advanced characterization. Who knows, maybe they'll succeed? Not likely, but they'll also emerge on the other side with a newer, richer understanding of how characters work.

An experienced writer, on the other hand, will either avoid it because they aren't idiots, may try it themselves and scrap it, or they're like me. Ballsy. Stupid, but ballsy. We have a character who was made a vampire at fifteen. She's 4'9", tiny and delicate and sweet of face. She's also about 3000 years old, utterly ruthless, and the daughter of a powerful Demon Lord who she killed and subsumed, giving her control of his legions and maybe making her a little crazy. But, at first glance, she is very cute with a sweet little voice and dainty hands.

Yeah, didn't come close. lol Might next time, though. Challenge accepted.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

Well, there's no way to 100% succeed. When you achieve success with one reader, you will fail with another. The best one can do with a character is to get it close enough to the plate that the umpire/reader sees it as a strike, heh heh. A bridge too far for one is too close for another, etc etc etc.

I think it would be easier to write it than to explain how to write it.

 

[Finchbearer]

We have a character who was made a vampire at fifteen. She's 4'9", tiny and delicate and sweet of face. She's also about 3000 years old, utterly ruthless, and the daughter of a powerful Demon Lord who she killed and subsumed, giving her control of his legions and maybe making her a little crazy. But, at first glance, she is very cute with a sweet little voice and dainty hands.

This reminds me of Amren from the A Court of Thorns and Roses series, except, she’s not what you could call ‘cute’. Ancient? Yes. Ruthless? Yep. Cute? No!

I’m classed as a petite woman at 5”1, and I can’t tell you how many times I haven’t been taken seriously because of it. That’s the way it is unfortunately. Physicality matters. Maybe if I was a vampire…?

 

[Demesnedenoir]

Size and aggression are two things respected in nature, no doubt about it.

This reminds me of Amren from the A Court of Thorns and Roses series, except, she’s not what you could call ‘cute’. Ancient? Yes. Ruthless? Yep. Cute? No!

I’m classed as a petite woman at 5”1, and I can’t tell you how many times I haven’t been taken seriously because of it. That’s the way it is unfortunately. Physicality matters. Maybe if I was a vampire…?