How to Write Two Dark Characters

[ShadeZ]

Hello,
I am working on a story with two mains. One is a dark faerie he is over 700 years old, he is known as the dark prince because he is the most powerful dark fae in existance and is the ruler of his elemental breed of fae. Dark fae are commonly known as vampires due to the fact they feed off blood. The second character is an immortal assassin and dragon hunter, she is equally dark in behaviour to the fae. My question is how do I write these two and it not be too dark, repetitive, or lose the reader to how vicious these two are. They have a partners in crime type mechanic and eventually fall in love over the span of the book.

 

[K.S. Crooks]

Establish the different goals and methods of each character. Show what attracts them to each other and build their relationship in a way to contrast the darkness. Humor is a good way to provide breaks in the darkness and tension.

 

[Nirak]

There's a difference between "dark" and "evil". It sounds like you have a darker setting, in which case having two characters like these fits within that world. However, just because your world is gritty doesn't mean your characters have to be evil. There are countless examples of sympathetic vampires and assassins. Look to those to see what you can do to make sure people like your characters. Give them morals - maybe the vampire only feeds off the willing, or the evil. Maybe the assassin only kills bad people, or at least has rules (not killing kids or animals is a big one). A common trope with stories about assassins is that they start off jaded and ruthless, but then have a crisis of conscious when they go to carry out a contract against someone "good." As the poster above said, humor is a big one, but you can also show their personalities and good sides. Maybe the vampire volunteers at nursing homes, because he can talk about "the old times". Maybe your assassin takes care of an ailing grandmother-type-figure (perhaps an old friend), and loves her dearly (and hey, isn't that a way they could find common ground too!). Very early on, if not the first time we meet them, you could show your character doing nice things and having a soft side (even if it's just that one of them collects cute bunny figures - those kind of traits are endearing!). Also, give them sidekicks who are really likable, and show those side characters love and are loyal to the main characters. That will clue your reader in to trust that the main characters are worthy of their investment. Kind of a "if they trust you, there must be something good about you" type of thing. One example that comes to mind is Jessica Jones - dark character, very prickly, but she's sarcastically funny and has people around her who care about her and bring out her softer side.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

Look up "gallows humor" and "dark humor." Humor is a great way to show a dark character's lighter side.

 

[ThinkerX]

Strangely, the villains in my 'Empire' series are a pair of dark characters who have been around for several thousand years in various bodies and incarnations.

One of them gets a sort of 'historical POV' - he's a POV character, or features in the POV's of others, but because of...psychological issues (denial) and youth in some of these scenes comes across as quite sympathetic. The other one comes across as darker, and threatening, a sort of dangerous ally.

 

[ShadeZ]

Here is what I already have on these two for personality.
Raven Zeverim-Dark faerie
-Raven attracts these red butterflies that glow like ruby in the dark. These are very rare and endangered butterflies. In mythology it is believed these butterflies are an omen of his arrival.
-Raven like his subjects only consumes the blood of animals, lesser monsters, and those trying to kill him.
-Raven is very good with children. Human children often fall into shadow realm portals when they dream and he returns them home.
-Raven doesn't like alcohal at all. And says it tastes like rotten blood.
-Though powerful, Raven is very shy in all regards especially the social kind.
-Raven generally has a shy, quiet, innocent temperament. He is the last one to get angry. The only way someone sees Raven's true dark side is to threaten him or a friend.
-Raven absolutely hates being the center of attention and will outright use magic to avoid it.
-Raven's familiar is a darkling. A shadow spirit that takes on the form of a shadowy cat with sharp white teeth, long black ears like horns, and red snake eyes and tongue. Despite the appearance Nikolaus (the darkling) is a pretty well behaved monster.
-Raven is wanted dead in all of Exodia because he killed the kings grandmother when she was queen. (It was self defense but everyone who knew that is dead)
-He is in love with Keara (the dragon slayer).
-Raven is quite tsundere, he comes over very cold and mischievous to those who first meet him but over time his childish personality reveals itself.
-Raven is terrified of new things. There is a scene where he meets a dog for the first time and shrieks and jumps onto the ceiling to avoid this "strange new beastie".
-Raven dislikes new moon nights and acts grouchy on them. On full moon nights he act sleepy, mellow, and somewhat adorable.
-Raven gets along well with humans but they hate him because of his reputation.
-Raven has a sister named Shade Zeverim.
-Raven like the darkest chocolate he can get.
-Raven absolutely loves soft things. Being a faerie, wherever he sleeps is "his nest" and therefore has dozens of pillows blankets and so on. He uses his wings like a blanket when he sleeps.
-He wears black because it makes him feel safe and hidden.

Keara (Dragon Hunter)
-Has shiny golden hair which embarrasses her. She hides it under black assassin clothes.
- Despite being a winged elf she is terrified of heights when her wings are sealed in her back.
-Loves honey and apples
-Has two pets Oreiduu and Rahdam both are "god eater" wolves.
-Dislikes sea water.
-easily annoyed
-Has a huge family 5 brothers, 2 sisters, 3 moms and 4 dads. (NONE except one of the dads is biological)
-Is a "Myriik" a natural born leader.
- Beast and Monster Tamer.
- Hates bananas
- Nightdawn mage (she uses dark and light magic)

 

[The Dark One]

I'd suggest that if you establish a bit of sexual tension early, the reader will be keen for them to get together and see past too much of the evil/darkness, especially if you leaven that with humour.

 

[cak85]

My initial reaction to your Dark Prince character is - he sounds like another moody, melodramatic vampire type. I am sorry if I misunderstood what you are saying though. So I wonder how different/unique you can make him?

I am not sure how attached you are to the Dark Prince title. Mostly because I have seen titles like that used countless times in books, movies and TV shows. Not saying I don't like the title but I don't know how unique you can make a character if his title already has so many preconceived notions. Maybe you can give him a more subtle type of title. Or you can go the exact opposite and give him a super grandiose title, when in reality he is just a normal vampire.

"-Raven absolutely hates being the center of attention and will outright use magic to avoid it."
This part I really like! It makes him relatable as a character. I wonder how you could expand on that. I can only imagine what sort of ramifications he causes just to avoid being the center of attention. It is a very human thing to do. Sort of like how we fib, avoid the conflict etc which often just makes the problem worse. It could also play into his title as the leader. Maybe leadership was thrust on him and he hates it. Or maybe he likes being a leader because of the good he can do but he hates 'politics.'

So my feedback would be to consider how to make him more relatable as a person. I can't really relate to being a vampire but I can relate to avoiding conflict only to have it blow up in my face. I am willing to bet that close to 99% of people can relate to that too. I am not saying that to be facetious so I hope it doesn't come across that way.

 

[The Dark One]

"-Raven absolutely hates being the center of attention and will outright use magic to avoid it."
This part I really like! It makes him relatable as a character.

Funny how we're all different. That was the one feature that caused me to raise an eyebrow...

Why on earth would Raven have to use magic to avoid being the centre of attention? It's very easy to avoid attention (unless you're a major rock star).

 

[cak85]

Funny how we're all different. That was the one feature that caused me to raise an eyebrow...

Why on earth would Raven have to use magic to avoid being the centre of attention? It's very easy to avoid attention (unless you're a major rock star).

It probably comes from my own desire to avoid attention. It also sounds like he is a leader, so I am not sure how easy it is to avoid attention in that role.

 

[The Dark One]

He could give orders by text or email?

 

[ShadeZ]

My initial reaction to your Dark Prince character is - he sounds like another moody, melodramatic vampire type.

Haha not at all. He is very shy and quiet, he loves soft things and builds "nests", he is a faerie after all. He extremely rarely hostile, aggressive, violent in anyway. He is even more shy if he is feeding on blood as his species have been hunted viciously most of his life. He avoids attention because like all of the "vampires/darkfae" he is incredibly shy and antisocial. Keara's brother throws Raven a surprise party and he curses the immediate area with blinding darkness just to get out of it and no one can find him for a week, except Keara. He has a number of cute or human traits. The fact he feeds on blood has little to do with his personality. Also he is against conflict but if it comes to conflict he will be very ferocious to deter future aggressions. Also he can calm human minds down and make them feel safe. He is very caring and gentle where a vampire typically isn't.

Oh, also he loves kitties.

 

[ShadeZ]

It probably comes from my own desire to avoid attention. It also sounds like he is a leader, so I am not sure how easy it is to avoid attention in that role.

He is the leader... of a very rare believed to be extinct race... so it is very hard for him to avoid attention. He is instantly recognizable with black bird wings and red eyes. He has to polymorph his appearance to be more human. Being faerie kind using magic is his fight flight instinct and he tends to react in a spooked manner when he is suddenly made the center of attention. The magic he uses doesn't have to be big like the shadow curse mentioned above. It can be as little as swaying humans to think he is nothing special or making it so their eyes just pass over him (even in full faerie appearance)

 

[ShadeZ]

I'd suggest that if you establish a bit of sexual tension early, the reader will be keen for them to get together and see past too much of the evil/darkness, especially if you leaven that with humour.

Their both asexual heteromatics, so actual sexual tension is unlikely. Some form of "love story" is workable though.

 

[The Dark One]

How do those two things go together?

 

[cak85]

Haha not at all. He is very shy and quiet, he loves soft things and builds "nests", he is a faerie after all. He extremely rarely hostile, aggressive, violent in anyway. He is even more shy if he is feeding on blood as his species have been hunted viciously most of his life. He avoids attention because like all of the "vampires/darkfae" he is incredibly shy and antisocial. Keara's brother throws Raven a surprise party and he curses the immediate area with blinding darkness just to get out of it and no one can find him for a week, except Keara. He has a number of cute or human traits. The fact he feeds on blood has little to do with his personality. Also he is against conflict but if it comes to conflict he will be very ferocious to deter future aggressions. Also he can calm human minds down and make them feel safe. He is very caring and gentle where a vampire typically isn't.

Oh, also he loves kitties.

It sounds like you have a pretty interesting plan for this character. I am not very familiar with fae lore/mythology so I am intrigued by learning more about him.

 

[ShadeZ]

How do those two things go together?

They are romantically attracted to each other, not sexually. They enjoy hugging, kissing, cuddling (Raven's a HUGE cuddler), and such, just not sex. So you can have cute love scenes and a love story from it. The dragon hunter race Demiduur are known for being asexual. You can read more if you google it. They are "mates" which is both the faerie and dragon hunter word for husband/wife, but this is a secret even from their families till later in the book.

 

[ShadeZ]

It sounds like you have a pretty interesting plan for this character. I am not very familiar with fae lore/mythology so I am intrigued by learning more about him.

You may like Gaelic faerie mythology. Being the Scotland is the birthplace of all faerie mythology in our world I pulled from old myth and mixes in some traits of my own. They are very "cute" by human standards. They are often hundreds of years old but rarely look older than 30's (Raven looks like he is 21, he is 700)

Oh, and while he can shrink down to the size of a bird he isn't smaller than a human by any means. The fairies we think of are commonly known by faeries as "pixies" sort of tiny faeries but their not terribly smart and are classified as "lesser monsters" meaning they're about as smart as a rodent or reptile or common bird. To call a fae a pixie is essentially to call a human an insect.

 

[ShadeZ]

Forgot to mention these two have a magic curse/enchantment called Shadow Link. They always feel the others presence via their own shadow, they can sense if each other are in danger, they can instantly teleport to each other, they can manipulate the others shadow. Raven uses this to detach Keara's shadow and use it to fight those who attack her and vice versa, they can also give long range hugs.

Shadow link is a very rare magic which naturally occurs between two closely linked souls, it isnt just bound to lovers. Shadow links can be shared between siblings, friends, and even two strangers who's souls are in someway tied together.

 

[cak85]

You may like Gaelic faerie mythology. Being the Scotland is the birthplace of all faerie mythology in our world I pulled from old myth and mixes in some traits of my own. They are very "cute" by human standards. They are often hundreds of years old but rarely look older than 30's (Raven looks like he is 21, he is 700)

Oh, and while he can shrink down to the size of a bird he isn't smaller than a human by any means. The fairies we think of are commonly known by faeries as "pixies" sort of tiny faeries but their not terribly smart and are classified as "lesser monsters" meaning they're about as smart as a rodent or reptile or common bird. To call a fae a pixie is essentially to call a human an insect.

I Googled faeries the other night after reading this thread. There does some to be a lot of cool mythology behind them. I alway grew up thinking of them like the 'pixy' type you mentioned earlier. It seems like its how elves can be very different depending on cultures, region and authors.