R. R. Hunter
Troubadour
I've been playing around with inner monologue from the POV. It almost appears as if he is conversing with the narrator, but not directly. I will lead with a reflection for the POV, and then have him monologue. Sometimes it's just one word or a few, but I just wrote one that's two sentences. I want to keep a majority of them brief. How about these examples:
He closed his eyes and let out a sigh as he leaned his head against the wall. The thickness of a fur cloak provided a comfortable cushion. A permeating mixture of dry leaves and the warm rays of the summer sun emitted from its soft hairs. He had made his decision to come to this soon-forgotten hole in search of… Desire? He thought, No, I need answers, but all I have found are more questions.
Finishing the narrator's sentences? Taboo?
<these examples are at different parts of the story>
Kaster silenced the tavernkeeper with a hand, turned from the bar, and chose a table in the corner. He slid a chair against the wall and sat. The others watched him for a moment before shrugging him off and returning to their game. The young, black-haired fellow helped the beauty off the table and then assisted Nara up. She nonchalantly brushed off the ruffian's hand, placed too high on her leg, after he helped her onto the table. There were six patrons in total. Nara, the tall beauty, the young rogue, a large man, a middle-aged gentleman, and an old man. Then there’s Horn and his…daughter, perhaps, Tanna. Eight people in the building that he could account for. He could not recall if they were all present when the hooded man appeared.
Here, feels like the italicized part describing the people could literally be the narrator if I removed the formatting and took out the "perhaps"
He closed his eyes and let out a sigh as he leaned his head against the wall. The thickness of a fur cloak provided a comfortable cushion. A permeating mixture of dry leaves and the warm rays of the summer sun emitted from its soft hairs. He had made his decision to come to this soon-forgotten hole in search of… Desire? He thought, No, I need answers, but all I have found are more questions.
Finishing the narrator's sentences? Taboo?
<these examples are at different parts of the story>
Kaster silenced the tavernkeeper with a hand, turned from the bar, and chose a table in the corner. He slid a chair against the wall and sat. The others watched him for a moment before shrugging him off and returning to their game. The young, black-haired fellow helped the beauty off the table and then assisted Nara up. She nonchalantly brushed off the ruffian's hand, placed too high on her leg, after he helped her onto the table. There were six patrons in total. Nara, the tall beauty, the young rogue, a large man, a middle-aged gentleman, and an old man. Then there’s Horn and his…daughter, perhaps, Tanna. Eight people in the building that he could account for. He could not recall if they were all present when the hooded man appeared.
Here, feels like the italicized part describing the people could literally be the narrator if I removed the formatting and took out the "perhaps"
Myth Weaver
