ButlerianHeretic
Troubadour
I've been experimenting with an alternative perspective, and I feel like I can't be the first person to have thought of this. I don't think English grammar wants us to write like this, but violating grammar rules occasionally seems worth it to me. The idea started with writing more like a first person perspective in a game instead of either first or second person in literature. First person describes what the character experiences which isn't the same. And second person tells us what the reader is supposed to be experiencing but IMO since as a reader I'm not actually experiencing it that always seemed jarring to me when I was reading Choose Your Own Adventure books as a kid. Here's a recent example I was messing around with using it:
A sudden awareness dawns, of how dark the night is in spite of the street lights. How empty the streets are. How chill the breeze. Nervously looking around, even while feeling foolish to have been spooked, reveals no obvious threat. But upon resolving to proceed, a tall woman stands in the sidewalk ahead, illuminated by the nearest street light.
She is tall, would be tall even for a man. A glance at her boots shows it is not a trick of high heels, indeed she wears sturdy polished boots under black slacks. A long black coat wraps her shoulders and hangs behind her like a cape. Open at the front reveals a black blouse open low to show considerable cleavage - both the tops of ample breasts, and above that evident pectoral muscles rising to a muscular neck. Her skin is dark and her hair black, but she has striking silver eyes that pierce the night. The sharp strong lines of her face seem balanced on a razor's edge between beauty and cruelty.
Her eyes are captivating, and there's nothing to do but stand transfixed as she approaches. Her stride speaks of physical power and total confidence, her boots clicking softly on the sidewalk.
Her hand reaches out, giving a glimpse of perfect sharp black nails before they lightly raking the side of neck, then catch chin. She steps close, lifting chin to meet her gaze, and there is power in her eyes. Power beyond the natural magnetism of her height, physique, and demeanor. All conscious thoughts are washed away by that gaze, leaving only acceptance. The acceptance of prey before a predator, when all hope of escape or defense is lost. She walks a circuit as if examining from all sides, then back to the front, she leans close, sniffing.
Then she straightens and smiles. Her face shifts to the beauty side of that line her features were riding, and she becomes radiant with pleasure. But still there is the threat of terrifying darkness should she be displeased. A powerful desire grows to please her as much as possible, and avoid her displeasure at all costs.
"So you are the one they've all been looking for." She scoffs softly, then it becomes a chuckle. Her smile widens showing fangs. But though fear rises, there's nothing to do, no hope of escape. "But I found you. And with time remaining before the end comes to train you to my service. Truly fortune smiles." Those words are terrifying, but the desire to please her is too strong to summon the slightest defiance.
A sudden awareness dawns, of how dark the night is in spite of the street lights. How empty the streets are. How chill the breeze. Nervously looking around, even while feeling foolish to have been spooked, reveals no obvious threat. But upon resolving to proceed, a tall woman stands in the sidewalk ahead, illuminated by the nearest street light.
She is tall, would be tall even for a man. A glance at her boots shows it is not a trick of high heels, indeed she wears sturdy polished boots under black slacks. A long black coat wraps her shoulders and hangs behind her like a cape. Open at the front reveals a black blouse open low to show considerable cleavage - both the tops of ample breasts, and above that evident pectoral muscles rising to a muscular neck. Her skin is dark and her hair black, but she has striking silver eyes that pierce the night. The sharp strong lines of her face seem balanced on a razor's edge between beauty and cruelty.
Her eyes are captivating, and there's nothing to do but stand transfixed as she approaches. Her stride speaks of physical power and total confidence, her boots clicking softly on the sidewalk.
Her hand reaches out, giving a glimpse of perfect sharp black nails before they lightly raking the side of neck, then catch chin. She steps close, lifting chin to meet her gaze, and there is power in her eyes. Power beyond the natural magnetism of her height, physique, and demeanor. All conscious thoughts are washed away by that gaze, leaving only acceptance. The acceptance of prey before a predator, when all hope of escape or defense is lost. She walks a circuit as if examining from all sides, then back to the front, she leans close, sniffing.
Then she straightens and smiles. Her face shifts to the beauty side of that line her features were riding, and she becomes radiant with pleasure. But still there is the threat of terrifying darkness should she be displeased. A powerful desire grows to please her as much as possible, and avoid her displeasure at all costs.
"So you are the one they've all been looking for." She scoffs softly, then it becomes a chuckle. Her smile widens showing fangs. But though fear rises, there's nothing to do, no hope of escape. "But I found you. And with time remaining before the end comes to train you to my service. Truly fortune smiles." Those words are terrifying, but the desire to please her is too strong to summon the slightest defiance.