Multiple Meanings in Foreshadowing; or, Should I Kill My Darling?

[Ireth]

I have a few issues with a scene I've recently written. There's a segment early on which foreshadows the rest, as well as foreshadowing events that happen much later on in the story as a whole. The scene begins with the heroes travelling; their path is blocked, so they turn aside to find another. Along the way they see three magpies, and discuss variations in the rhyme associated with them, before running into another obstacle: they're on the territory of a Redcap, which are not known for their friendliness.

The ensuing conflict with the Redcap, ending with the Redcap's death (which, oddly, ends up being mercy-kill), and the introduction of a new, female character fulfil both discussed variants of the magpie rhyme -- "Three for a girl" versus "Three for a funeral". I really, really like the duality here, as well as the hints of things still to come. The problem is, in the course of writing the Redcap's dialogue, I've discovered he has a sense of humor, and I'm unsure now of whether I want to kill him after only a few pages. But if I don't kill him, then my carefully-crafted foreshadowing loses something.

I'm not sure whether moving the foreshadowing to a different scene or context would work, since I want the female character to be introduced to the heroes' quest early on, and I can't bring her in much earlier as it is. She comes into the scene during the conflict with the Redcap, and helps the heroes disarm and kill it. If I were to edit the scene, she'd still disarm the Redcap, but in a different way, not resulting in the need for the Redcap to be put out of its misery.

Harking back to the question above: Should I kill a layer of the foreshadowing, or the Redcap?

 

[Feo Takahari]

I'd recommend killing the foreshadowing. Good characters are harder to replace.

 

[Zero Angel]

I recommend making him even more likable and then killing him. I would question killing him if the readers wouldn't feel something about the character. If you do want to use him a little more, any way you can drag him out for a chapter or two?

Aside: Always liked redcaps--I blend them with leprechauns in my Faerie Realms.

 

[Chilari]

I'd drop the Redcap's death. It doesn't necessarily kill the foreshadowing, though - the reader doesn't know there won't be a funeral coming up after that, and if another character dies in the following pages or chapters then you can link it back to the magpies then - a delayed element. Especially if the female character is the one that dies - then both versions of the poem are correct for the same character. That could be powerful.

 

[Anders Ämting]

Did you create the Redcap for any other purpose than having him killed? Do you have a plan for how he fits into the plot if you keep him alive? Does keeping him alive serve a better purpose to the story than killing him?

If the answer to these questions are no, then you should kill him.

From your description this sounds like a minor character, not a main character, so I'm not sure what you hope to gain from keeping him alive. I don't normally advocate character death but "I just kinda like him" isn't a very good reason. If anything, the fact that he's likable just gives his death more impact.

On the other hand, killing a useful character just because you thought of a clever way to forshadow it doesn't seem like a good reason either. So, I think it comes down to how important this guy is to the story.

 

[Ireth]

I'd recommend killing the foreshadowing. Good characters are harder to replace.

That's a good point.

I recommend making him even more likable and then killing him. I would question killing him if the readers wouldn't feel something about the character. If you do want to use him a little more, any way you can drag him out for a chapter or two?

Aside: Always liked redcaps--I blend them with leprechauns in my Faerie Realms.

I'm still considering whether or not he'd have information the heroes need, but it's kind of doubtful that he would. See my response to Anders below (for some reason I replied to everyone's posts in reverse order).

I'd drop the Redcap's death. It doesn't necessarily kill the foreshadowing, though - the reader doesn't know there won't be a funeral coming up after that, and if another character dies in the following pages or chapters then you can link it back to the magpies then - a delayed element.

Nobody is slated to die in the next few pages/chapters aside from the Redcap, so it kinda does kill it. Just a bit.

Especially if the female character is the one that dies - then both versions of the poem are correct for the same character. That could be powerful.

That's exactly what happens. XD But in this case I wanted a more immediate payoff as well as a delayed one, to highlight the ambiguity of the verses, since both versions end up being true in different ways. The new character is the predicted girl, and the funeral is the Redcap's. It just packs all the bigger punch when she ends up dying as well. Though she's not the only one to do so in the end.

Did you create the Redcap for any other purpose than having him killed? Do you have a plan for how he fits into the plot if you keep him alive? Does keeping him alive serve a better purpose to the story than killing him?

No, still thinking about it, and possibly.

From your description this sounds like a minor character, not a main character, so I'm not sure what you hope to gain from keeping him alive. I don't normally advocate character death but "I just kinda like him" isn't a very good reason. If anything, the fact that he's likable just gives his death more impact.

On the other hand, killing a useful character just because you thought of a clever way to forshadow it doesn't seem like a good reason either. So, I think it comes down to how important this guy is to the story.

He was intended to be just a one-shot villain for the heroes to bypass, and letting me introduce an essential character in the same scene was an added bonus. But I honestly don't know how much use he'd be if I kept him alive -- the one thing the heroes need at the moment is directions on how to find the fugitive princess they're searching for, and since she's in disguise I doubt anyone would actually know where she is. The fact that she turns up and is there right under their noses for most of the book comes as a shock in the final few chapters, at least to the humans.

 

[Anders Ämting]

He was intended to be just a one-shot villain for the heroes to bypass, and letting me introduce an essential character in the same scene was an added bonus. But I honestly don't know how much use he'd be if I kept him alive -- the one thing the heroes need at the moment is directions on how to find the fugitive princess they're searching for, and since she's in disguise I doubt anyone would actually know where she is. The fact that she turns up and is there right under their noses for most of the book comes as a shock in the final few chapters, at least to the humans.

Well, I guess my only advice is to prioritize the plot.

I would kill him, but then I'm an outliner. If I kill a character, it's because that character was intended to die all along. On the other hand, I never kill characters for no good reason.

 

[Phietadix]

Couldn't you simply change what the foreshadowing says? Change the rhyme to mean something else?

 

[Anders Ämting]

Couldn't you simply change what the foreshadowing says? Change the rhyme to mean something else?

I don't think the forshadowing is really the issue here. Rather, Ireth created an antagonist that was supposed to die, and now she's having second thoughts. The question is wether she is hesitating because he is actually useful to keep around, or if he has just become a Darling to her.

 

[Telcontar]

Kill the Redcap. If he is likeable before he dies, all the better.

Seriously, good foreshadowing is a wonderful dramatic function and, once noticed by the reader, is thoroughly enjoyable. For maximum effect, resist the urge to "explain the joke" - that is, to draw the readers attention bluntly back to the fulfilled foreshadowing. Let them figure it out on their own.

You probably already knew that, but I just ran across an instance of "explaining the joke" in a work I'm critiquing, and I felt the need to expound.

 

[Darkblade]

I agree with killing the Redcap. If you have it foreshadowed and he has no real place in the plot beyond his predetermined death then it's best to just leave him there. It's better to have someone likeable die than to have them stick around with nothing to do but clog up the plot.

 

[Ireth]

Thanks for the advice, guys. ^^ I think I will kill him off after all.

 

[JCFarnham]

I'd always err on the side of fewer characters in any case. Easier to keep track of a smaller cast.