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need advice on a chapter

firrle

New Member
Im in need of some advice here. I am editing my book and came across a chapter I don't particularly like. I changed some scenes, added a few more and made it better but am stuck. The chapter leads into a battle but the battle sucks for reasons I don't know. The idea behind it seems good. One of my main characters goes to help out a friend having other motivations. But once he enters the battle, I find myself disliking it all. I just want to move on and skip it. Does the chapter need a battle? Not sure at this point. How does one determine if something needs to be taken out or left alone?
 

SugoiMe

Closed Account
Deciding whether or not to keep a chapter can certainly be a challenge. Maybe a save an extra draft, rewrite the thing, and compare the two? If you can't decide, then you can put up your work in the showcase forum and we can give you some advice.

OR, you can try writing the scene from a different perspective. I suck at writing fight scenes, so for one in particular, I told it from the point of view of a non-fighting character. Still plenty of action, and the character's confusion added to the chaos.
 

T.Allen.Smith

Staff
Moderator
It's hard to know what's wrong without seeing an excerpt, but nine times out of ten, fight scenes miss the mark because they turn into choreography. Try focusing on character emotion instead.

Think of the POV which has the highest emotional reaction, or a unique perspective. Those are usually good places to begin. Then, instead of relaying a sequence of events, troop movements, or combat maneuvers, convey the emotional and physical impact on a character, through their experiences and perceptions.

What does it feels like when that helmet crashes into his nose? What does the blood taste like? What does the dirt smell or taste like trampled with gore? Does he piss his pants in fear? What does that feel and smell like? Does she push the fear down to save a friend? How does that feel internally, seeing her friend at death's door? What does it do to her insides to repress her natural fear? Does she shake uncontrollably afterward with the force of adrenaline? Dig deep. Be creative. Use your life experience of feeling and sensing the world.

These are the types of questions you need to ask yourself if you want action to come alive. The events themselves are far less important than the impact those events have on characters.
 

skip.knox

toujours gai, archie
Moderator
The battle can suck for a whole variety of reasons. Hard to say without seeing it. This is a little like saying you wrote a song but the chorus sucks and can anyone give advice. Without hearing the song, it's impossible even to begin. T.Allen.Smith has an good point, though. It can't be only about a battle. It has to be about character development or advancing the plot. If you can tell the story without the battle, then it isn't needed.
 
Im in need of some advice here. I am editing my book and came across a chapter I don't particularly like. I changed some scenes, added a few more and made it better but am stuck. The chapter leads into a battle but the battle sucks for reasons I don't know. The idea behind it seems good. One of my main characters goes to help out a friend having other motivations. But once he enters the battle, I find myself disliking it all. I just want to move on and skip it. Does the chapter need a battle? Not sure at this point. How does one determine if something needs to be taken out or left alone?

What is the scale of the battle? A few people? Two armies clashing?
 
Battles - like all scenes in a story shouldn't just exist - and the scale is pretty much irrelevant really.

What is important is the 'purpose' of the battle from the story's point of view.

Battles shouldn't just be put in for a bit of action. The battle needs to have a reason to exist where it does (and not just from a backstory perspective) and that reason needs to revolve around the character's actions in a specific way. (Though the character doesn't need to be pivotal in it)

What does the battle tell you about the characters involved - how does it progress the story/plot/character arc? What do we/they learn about the characters because of the battle?

Having a character help another is a good start but what does the battle do to him?

Does the character find out that his friend is a coward?. Does he find out that he has to do something he hates? Does he kill a man for the first time - or carry out a mercy killing at it's conclusion. Is he shown unexpected kindness by someone from the opposite faction? Does he develop a revulsion/respect/admiration for the enemy? Does he see his friend killed? Does he discover a like/dislike/natural ability for warfare? Does he find a discarded weapon/item that is important later on or discover something vital about the enemy or the faction he's fighting with that makes hime switch side later... the possibilities are endless.

It's how personal you make the battle to the protagonist that's key to making it better.
 

K.S. Crooks

Maester
What is the purpose of the battle for the characters and overall for your story? What happens if one side wins, what happens in the opposite case? How will the characters change as a result of the battle? you can always write two versions, with and without the battle and see which you like better.
 

Addison

Auror
Maybe if you change the type of battle? Remember "The Princess Bride"? Wesley had three battles on his way to save buttercup. A battle of steel with Inigo, a battle of strength with Fezzik and a battle of wits with Vizzini. Or maybe the mood of the battle needs to change, or the timing of your protagonist's arrival. Does he arrive in time to participate from the beginning? In the middle, trying to figure out what the heck is going on while staying alive? Or at the middle walking through the mess trying to find his friend and find out what happened?
 
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