Non-human turns of phrase? (mild language)

[Ireth]

The MC of my WIP is believed to be dead for a time, only to show up again, alive and (mostly) well. His friend finds him and basically rips him a new one, wondering where he was all this time and why they couldn't find him. I'm looking for a phrase that would be equivalent to "Where the hell have you been?", except I can't use hell for a few reasons. The characters in question are both Celtic Fae in an era prior to the spread of Christianity through Europe, which means: a) they have and want to have nothing to do with Christianity or its influences, and b) being non-human, they have neither souls nor an afterlife of any sort, and c) they themselves don't worship any gods, because they're basically demigods in their own right. What sort of things might be believable to substitute for such a specifically religion-based phrase?

EDIT: Also, I can't really use "Where in Faerie" as a replacement for the milder "Where in the world", because the MC was kidnapped to a different world (not Earth), where he was believed dead by those who went to rescue him.

 

[Spider]

Maybe you should just keep it simple, using italics for emphasis, and say "Where have you been?" Instead of "Where the hell" you could have "Where the heck." If there's someone well-known in your world, you can use that person in a remark of surprise. For example, if Gandalf was the ruler of the MC's country, you could say something like "Gandalf's beard! Where have you been?"

 

[Ireth]

I don't think heck would work either, since it's specifically a bowdlerised form of "hell", which I can't use for the above reasons. I don't know about using the queen of their Court as part of a euphemism, either. I know in Harry Potter, phrases like "Merlin's beard" are used, but Merlin has (AFAIK) been dead or at least gone for centuries. You don't hear people saying "Dumbledore's beard!" at Hogwarts, after all. Somehow "Brígh's [insert bodypart]!" just doesn't have the same ring to it. I could always try to find a different ruler or hero from the past, though... *scurries away to Wikipedia*

 

[Nihal]

Once I've came across a book called "An Encyclopedia of Swearing". It was enlightening, I assure you! xD

In this kind of book you can find terms that fell out of use, being no longer serious insults since, well... Almost no one knows what they mean anymore. Some are even amusing, e.g. "Polecat". You could try to take a look on a book of this kind.

 

[Ireth]

Can't say I've heard of that one before. I'll see if I can find it next time I'm in Chapters.

 

[Sam James]

In your world is there another mythical creature either despised or ridiculed often? For example if everyone hates/pokes fun at gnomes you could have:

Where on a gnome's backside have you been?

 

[Addison]

Hmmm.....maybe you could do something like, "By all of Tuatha's power where did you hide!?" I believe Tuatha De Danan was either a.) the celtic or gaelic term for fairies, b.) the name of the fairie queen, or c.) both of the above. Or maybe "By all under the moon and stars where have you been?!" Try looking at their swears not as similies or metaphors for a terrible place, but more of an angry question to the great powers they live by.

 

[Pythagoras]

In this kind of book you can find terms that fell out of use, being no longer serious insults since, well... Almost no one knows what they mean anymore. Some are even amusing, e.g. "Polecat".

What is a polecat? Funnily enough, I have heard that one before...
When I was a very young child and my father wanted me to get a bath, he would say I stunk like a polecat. I never knew what it meant, and I forgot all about it until just now.

 

[Ireth]

In your world is there another mythical creature either despised or ridiculed often? For example if everyone hates/pokes fun at gnomes you could have:

Where on a gnome's backside have you been?

Well, the Fae have some newfound enemies, namely the black-elves of Svartalfheimr, but they're not well-known enough in Faerie to make for a commonly-used insult.

 

[Ireth]

Hmmm.....maybe you could do something like, "By all of Tuatha's power where did you hide!?" I believe Tuatha De Danan was either a.) the celtic or gaelic term for fairies, b.) the name of the fairie queen, or c.) both of the above. Or maybe "By all under the moon and stars where have you been?!" Try looking at their swears not as similies or metaphors for a terrible place, but more of an angry question to the great powers they live by.

Tuatha De Danaan is one name for the Fae, yes. The name means "People of Danu" or "Children of Danu"; Danu is the name of a Celtic goddess. But, as I said, the Fae in my tales don't really worship any gods nor would they swear by them. There are two Queens of Faerie, one of the Summer Court and one of the Winter Court; the Winter Queen is named Brigh, and I haven't named the Summer Queen yet. That leads into issues I've mentioned above. "Moon and stars" may work, or at least the stars; the moon and sun aren't visible in Faerie.

What is a polecat? Funnily enough, I have heard that one before...
When I was a very young child and my father wanted me to get a bath, he would say I stunk like a polecat. I never knew what it meant, and I forgot all about it until just now.

I think a polecat is a skunk, though I could be wrong.

 

[Nihal]

What is a polecat? Funnily enough, I have heard that one before...
When I was a very young child and my father wanted me to get a bath, he would say I stunk like a polecat. I never knew what it meant, and I forgot all about it until just now.

I don't think he meant the same thing the old swearing meant. xD
A polecat is a mustela, ferret, if they stink I don't know.

The 16th century meaning would be "courtesan". Here, something from Shakespeare: “Out of my door, you witch, you rag, you baggage, polecat, you runnion, out! out!”

---
I liked the book about swearings because it provided some insight on what are the usual origins of insults, often based on animals, religion/honor or of sexual connotation. It can give some bases to develop your own insults instead of attempting blindingly.

 

[Pythagoras]

Ha. I would say that given the context, you're probably right. At least, I certainly hope so...

To answer the question at hand, personally I think you might be putting too much thought into it.

In the Empire Strikes Back, there is a scene on Hoth when Han Solo says "...then I'll see you in hell." Some diehards made the argument that there is no way he could have known what the word 'hell' meant, because he lives in a non-Christian universe. But let's be honest. To most of us, the movie is perfectly fine, even with this small infraction.

If you are writing in English, than an English turn of phrase used to make a point will be alright as far as I'm concerned. I mean, are these Faerie beings actually speaking in English themselves? Some things get lost in the translation, and there is only so much you, as the author, can do.

But if it does bother you that much (and I can't actually blame you if it does; you're not the only one with that nagging perfectionist inside), then I would have to agree with Spider in saying that something as simple as "Where have you been?" would probably suffice.

 

[Ireth]

If you are writing in English, than an English turn of phrase used to make a point will be alright as far as I'm concerned. I mean, are these Faerie beings actually speaking in English themselves? Some things get lost in the translation, and there is only so much you, as the author, can do.

But if it does bother you that much (and I can't actually blame you if it does; you're not the only one with that nagging perfectionist inside), then I would have to agree with Spider in saying that something as simple as "Where have you been?" would probably suffice.

Well, technically they're speaking Welsh (probably Old or Middle Welsh, to be more specific). This is before the development of English as we know it, but obviously I'll be writing it all out in English anyway. I might just go with plain old "Where have you been?" after all. Probably the easiest way to go.

 

[Pythagoras]

Also, and I know you touched on this earlier, but a "where in the world have you been?" may not be so bad. World is a generic term, after all, and doesn't necessarily have to mean Earth.

 

[Ireth]

Also, and I know you touched on this earlier, but a "where in the world have you been?" may not be so bad. World is a generic term, after all, and doesn't necessarily have to mean Earth.

Well, yes, but there isn't just one world involved in the story, which was my point. I'd have to say "worlds", which would sound awkward in its own way.

 

[Pythagoras]

Again, perhaps you're thinking too much. Imagine you just saw your friend who you thought was dead. No matter where he or she actually was, could you help yourself from such an outburst?

 

[Ireth]

Well, no, but I have to think within the bounds of what my characters would know and be expected to say, not what *I* would say. Again, as I and others have said, I'm better off going without the reference to any certain place or thing.