HalfElfHorror
Acolyte
I struggle with Major Depressive Disorder, and even though I'm on mood stabilizers and anti-depressants that help greatly, creatvity and the will to work has floundered. I find myself staring at the blank page, the cursor blinking as if admonishing me to fill the space with words. It's the same with canvases, sketchbooks, and music. Everything seems duller and all I want to do is just exist quietly, not do anthing or answer to anyone. Sometimes I just want to hide away. Sometimes I even want to write or draw, and I sit with my blank page and try to will a thought, an inkling of an idea, but all I can do is stare as the minutes tick by.
Even though it isn't my fault, the guilt and frustration still settles in, seeping through to my bones. I long to create, to do something with myself. This post is not a hope to garner pity and attention, but to post about my own issues and hope it reaches someone else.
Though there may be a damper on your motivation and excitement, you will get the help you need and power through this. You will once again return to the things you love.
On a side note, I've recently started boxing, to get exercise and some happy juice in my brain. Once the pandemic clears I'll probably join the school team, and I'm excited to be doing something for myself. It feels good to be happy with myself.
Even though it isn't my fault, the guilt and frustration still settles in, seeping through to my bones. I long to create, to do something with myself. This post is not a hope to garner pity and attention, but to post about my own issues and hope it reaches someone else.
Though there may be a damper on your motivation and excitement, you will get the help you need and power through this. You will once again return to the things you love.
On a side note, I've recently started boxing, to get exercise and some happy juice in my brain. Once the pandemic clears I'll probably join the school team, and I'm excited to be doing something for myself. It feels good to be happy with myself.