Feo Takahari
Auror
It's three years old, but it made me laugh.
Source: http://fanficrants.livejournal.com/10978907.html
Dear Authors,
I understand you want to make your character(s) Amazingly Super-Special -- but try to keep them human-scale, please?
You say your A.S.S. is the only A.S.S. in the world, and the most powerful A.S.S. born for a thousand-million years?
Goodbye, Dramatic Tension -- I'll miss you! Enjoy your holiday, and take the useful, competent Ensemble Cast with you -- it's not like the author's A.S.S. needs them now! Might as well take the Villain(s) with you as well -- they're just decoration at this point!
..
Also, when you say your A.S.S. is the only A.S.S. in the world, and the most powerful A.S.S. born for a thousand-million years? I stop taking your A.S.S. seriously. Because you've stopped using human-scale powers and rarity and time-scale and risks, and started using A.S.S.-scale instead.
Problem is, I'm human. Most of the characters I like to read about are also human, humanoid, or human-like in some way. They have human-like motivations, and take human-scale risks. I'm far more likely to care about your A.S.S.'s if they're made to human-scale.
So, say that your A.S.S. is the most powerful in a decade, or a generation (usually thirty years). Say that your A.S.S. is the most powerful in a half-century or a century, a time-scale that your A.S.S.'s parents' and grandparents' generations might reasonably remember stories about. Say that your A.S.S. is the most powerful in the city/county/state/local area -- that's human-scale, but still rare enough to be Amazingly Super Special!
Keeping it human-scale can add Dramatic Tension to the story, too: if your A.S.S.'s are rare, but common enough for there to be laws and customs and social expectations, that gives a great source for world-building (which I love) and brings back our old friend, Dramatic Tension, because if your A.S.S.'s are powerful, but within or close to human limits, they might lose. Or your A.S.S.'s might need help, and that brings back my dear friends, the competent Ensemble Cast, to support your A.S.S.'s
Finally, using A.S.S.-scale throws me right out of the story -- often laughing enough to scare the cats, but still.... I really don't think laughter's the reaction you were aiming for, dear author, when you proudly unveiled your A.S.S.
Yours, A. Reader.
Source: http://fanficrants.livejournal.com/10978907.html