One-line paragraphs as employed by Zero

[Zero Angel]

Hi guys,

Edit: Originally, I was going to post a question I'd like to get some feedback on, but through the course of writing the original post, I ended up working out what I wanted and it devolved a little more into being about my style of writing (specifically one technique that I regularly employ). So I've adjusted my question to talk about the technique that I was employing originally and asking about.

In my writing, I tend to like specific lines to stand out and be one-line paragraphs with extra emphasis.

In my WIP, the first line (and paragraph) currently is, "The pain never got any easier" and is told from the main character's POV, who happens to be a 20000+ year old goddess known as the Warrior. Hope (the Warrior's real name) is thinking of this idea that no matter how old or how strong she became, the pain she has to deal with from her injuries (and especially from the Culling, which is a type of cancer that is killing her) never hurts any less. No matter what wound it is, she still has to deal with the pain.

I end the novella with the one liner, "If you are strong."

(Note: I'm not particularly sold on, "The pain never got any easier" YET, but I hope that I will be able to work it out in the rewriting stages of the novella.)

Dealing, whether it is with the pain or her cancer or the limitations of her abilities and powers, missed opportunities in love and family, or whatever, is one of the themes of the story, which is titled "The Warrior's Way". The eponymous way is this idea of being strong enough to take the road less traveled in order to help others travel it that would not be strong enough without you. (or as Spidey would say, "With great power comes great responsibility").

It's a bit of a cheap technique (in that I find it very easy to do and feel it is reasonably effective), but I like to incorporate these one-line emphasis paragraphs throughout my works (be they short, novella, or novel-length) in order to (subconsciously or not) provide a type of call-back, thread a theme through the story, or just to really call attention to what is going on.

In my first novel, I opened Chapter 1 with "Valistair was not comfortable" (yes, I am aware that it is passive), and then went on to use it (I think) three more times. Once more with Val, once with his best friend, Uriel, and once with his little sister, Kitialyn.

It is my hope that this calls up the idea of these other scenes in the heads of the reader, while simultaneously setting the line apart and drawing their attention and focus to it.

Do you think the first line of the novella "The Warrior's Way" is appropriate, needs tweaked, anything else? What do you think of this technique? Do you use it in your own writing or are aware of it elsewhere? Are there good or bad examples of it you can think of? What made them good or bad? Thoughts? Criticisms? Questions? Tangents?

 

[CupofJoe]

I often use one line paragraphs.

For emphasis.
For pacing.
For drama.
Even for repetition.

It can look like a clap-trap if you aren't consistent and personally the fewer the syllables the better, but that's my style not yours...

 

[Rob P]

I have recently seen the effect of one-liners in certain scenes giving them a point around which to pivot or change direction. It is not something I use much but occasionally it adds a punch.

In regard to your first line. The Warrior is 20,000+ years old so the pain never getting easier feels like it is subserviant to the memory of all the pain that has gone before. I don't claim to know a better line but suggest some connection to her endured past.

 

[Nihal]

In my opinion one-line paragraphs are a fine way to achieve tension, emphasis, etc, as CupofJoe said. It gives me a similar sensation of using some specific phrase and repeating it a little further into the story, in the same paragraph or in one close enough.

Those one-lines paragraphs are more efficient if it's content is strong enough by itself. e.g.:

Halia tripped.

vs

Halia picked her nose.


Unless it's such a shocking action that would change the plot direction, I would never use the second one. For this reason they should be used with caution, only when they really add to the tension. Being a strong tool, they shouldn't be overused or you're also going to lose the dramatic effect even when you use it properly. Another danger is overuse it in such way you create too many breaking points in the reading, getting annoying real quick.

 

[BWFoster78]

I think that it is a great technique to add that little bit of extra emphasis to a line. I especially like it for the first line of your work.

I echo what Nihal said above; be careful not to overdo it. (Not that I think Zero is saying that he is overusing it. More a general note of caution.)

That's pretty much a caution with any technique, though, especially those used to add emphasis. If everything is emphasized, nothing is.

 

[Zero Angel]

Thanks guys. Glad to know I'm not alone out there.

I often use one line paragraphs.

For emphasis.
For pacing.
For drama.
Even for repetition.

It can look like a clap-trap if you aren't consistent and personally the fewer the syllables the better, but that's my style not yours...

I agree about the fewer syllables—you don't want your one-line to look like a paragraph. I read recently that shorter paragraphs are becoming more popular due to online reading and eReaders. I know some online fiction magazines specifically ask that the author takes the fact that it is online into account and does not include overly long paragraphs.

You're spot on in using them for dramatic tension and pacing and emphasis. Your examples actually made me think that maybe I got into doing this technique more because I do it when I teach to emphasize new concepts, ideas or remarks to my students

I have recently seen the effect of one-liners in certain scenes giving them a point around which to pivot or change direction. It is not something I use much but occasionally it adds a punch.

In regard to your first line. The Warrior is 20,000+ years old so the pain never getting easier feels like it is subserviant to the memory of all the pain that has gone before. I don't claim to know a better line but suggest some connection to her endured past.

Thanks for the suggestion. The following paragraphs deal with the pain she is in at the moment while describing some of her exploits throughout the years and the pain that followed. The cancer thing has been growing within her since she was a child though and that pain not only isn't getting easier, it's getting harder to deal with.

In my opinion one-line paragraphs are a fine way to achieve tension, emphasis, etc, as CupofJoe said. It gives me a similar sensation of using some specific phrase and repeating it a little further into the story, in the same paragraph or in one close enough.

Those one-lines paragraphs are more efficient if it's content is strong enough by itself. e.g.:

Halia tripped.

vs

Halia picked her nose.


Unless it's such a shocking action that would change the plot direction, I would never use the second one. For this reason they should be used with caution, only when they really add to the tension. Being a strong tool, they shouldn't be overused or you're also going to lose the dramatic effect even when you use it properly. Another danger is overuse it in such way you create too many breaking points in the reading, getting annoying real quick.

I could see the second one in a comedy story! I agree about overusing. I hope I've found the right balance.

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

I love the line, "The pain never got any easier," especially as a stand-alone paragraph. Great hook and I would have to keep reading.

Nothing really to add to the comments above. I also love the one line stand-alone paragraph for emphasis but I suspect it should be used sparingly for maximum effectiveness.