Purple Prose and playing with words

[JLiana]

Hi all,

So, I will be the first to admit I love me some purple prose. Sometimes I can't help but write it. It worms it's way in during drafts, and I cut the fat when I make revisions. However.

I feel like a lot of writers have forgotten that playing with language exists, that writing is an art and making things sound interesting is part of our jobs. Putting words together that shouldn't work. Making keeping language fresh to read page to page

I posted something to Reddit for critique (my mistake, I know) and I was told that the prose was far too purple. The examples provided were:

"The door to our bedchambers clicked shut with a precarious finality."

And

"In an ironic twist of fate."

Which I suppose might be fair, but at the same time, flowery language is what makes my writing feel like mine, y'know? They did also "suppose" that the piece got better in the later half.

I suppose what I'm asking is, does all prose need to be written in such a literal sense? Can prose be a little purple if grounding details follow? Can Redditors give critique without being snarky about it? Or am I a little delusional for thinking this way?

 

[skip.knox]

I would not call either example purple. The second example is hackneyed. The twist could surely be better described. To be purple it would need to pile on a few more adjectives, preferably as superlatives.

The first example is just awkward. Finality and precariousness don't really go together. Something that is precarious is in danger of falling. When it has completely fallen it has reached finality. Nothing purple here, just a need for a better adjective. Also, just a trifle but maybe worth mentioning, do you really mean to say they (the "our" in the sentence) have multiple bedchambers? I stumbled over that because I was picturing multiple bedchambers having at least one door each, which made the click neither precarious nor final.

Prose, no matter what the color, ought to be precise.

 

[JLiana]

I would not call either example purple. The second example is hackneyed. The twist could surely be better described. To be purple it would need to pile on a few more adjectives, preferably as superlatives.

The first example is just awkward. Finality and precariousness don't really go together. Something that is precarious is in danger of falling. When it has completely fallen it has reached finality. Nothing purple here, just a need for a better adjective. Also, just a trifle but maybe worth mentioning, do you really mean to say they (the "our" in the sentence) have multiple bedchambers? I stumbled over that because I was picturing multiple bedchambers having at least one door each, which made the click neither precarious nor final.

Prose, no matter what the color, ought to be precise.

Oh, yeah, it's "ours" as in shared.

For me, I liked "precarious finality" as an oxymoron because in context of the chapter, my character is escaping her abusive husband, and it's written from her POV so it's her being unsure if her plan is going to work, or if she will manage to escape. I think I'll be removing it anyway.

The second example will definitely be gone in the next revision, it's a bit overwrought now that I think of it.

 

[Prince of Spires]

I would probably ask them what exactly they mean when they'd give me such a critique. It could very well be that something else feels wrong to the reader, but they can't explain it directly so they resort to calling it purple.

Also, consider that not all writing is for everyone. Maybe your style simply doesn't fit the reader.

In general I think that you should write in whatever style you feel like. Yes, you cut fat during revisions, but that doesn't mean you have to strip the story down to its bare bones without any feeling in there. It just means you remove bits where you first tell what's happening and then show it. Or remove repetitions. Etc. You definitely want to keep your own voice in there.

It is important to be consistent in style (unless there's a specific reason to deviate of course). You can't write non-purple prose for most of the novel and then include a purple paragraph. That would throw readers off.

 

[JLiana]

I would probably ask them what exactly they mean when they'd give me such a critique. It could very well be that something else feels wrong to the reader, but they can't explain it directly so they resort to calling it purple.

Also, consider that not all writing is for everyone. Maybe your style simply doesn't fit the reader.

In general I think that you should write in whatever style you feel like. Yes, you cut fat during revisions, but that doesn't mean you have to strip the story down to its bare bones without any feeling in there. It just means you remove bits where you first tell what's happening and then show it. Or remove repetitions. Etc. You definitely want to keep your own voice in there.

It is important to be consistent in style (unless there's a specific reason to deviate of course). You can't write non-purple prose for most of the novel and then include a purple paragraph. That would throw readers off.

Yeah, it was a bit jarring because some comments were fine, but some just failed to elaborate even when I asked. Like, looking back on the piece myself, I can see that people meant the purple bits were overwrought or just unnecessary, but no one said that, they just said it "stuck out"— someone even just made a list in the comments of the bits they didn't like lol.

I tend towards flowery language, I can't help it. I would definitely say it's my voice and your comment made me feel a little better about that, so thanks.

 

[pmmg]

I suppose what I'm asking is, does all prose need to be written in such a literal sense? Can prose be a little purple if grounding details follow? Can Redditors give critique without being snarky about it? Or am I a little delusional for thinking this way?

I suppose what I'm asking is, does all prose need to be written in such a literal sense?

No, prose can be written in any voice you like. If you have a good and well-developed voice, it would be a shame not to use it. Most things are written in what I term 'Competent Librarian' Voice. And it works, cause its clear and does not get in the way of things. But voice is hard to get right. I takes a lot of development to get right, and be clear.

There will always be more who dont like it than do, so... You can't take a sampling of a general public and know, you have to take a sampling of your readers, and those are hard to gather.

Can prose be a little purple if grounding details follow?

Purple prose by definition is bad prose. So, I'm gonna say no. Avoid purple prose. Aim for prose that adds to the experience and does not take away. Its an art and not a science. You can master it and do it.

Can Redditors give critique without being snarky about it?

Does this need an answer? What else would I expect on reddit but snarky answers?

Or am I a little delusional for thinking this way?

Thinking what way? About Reddit? Yes, you are delusional. Otherwise, you don't seem delusional to me.


The sample above does not have enough in it for me to call it purple. I can go with a precarious finality, as in the final state was still precarious. Leaves open the possibility that it will be insufficient to keep the door closed.

I would avoid 'In an ironic twist of fate', as to me, that reads as the narrator voice trying to speak to me directly. If that is the style and voice you want, then it would get a pass, but generally, that is a bad author habit. We are not chit chatting. Just show what happens and let me decide if it was ironic, or maybe that a character found it ironic.

 

[skip.knox]

Redditors are human beings. Some will be snarky and some will be helpful. As with other gatherings of humans, the ratio will vary with time and circumstance. Because we have to deal with human beings regularly, it's best to develop both filters and a thick skin.