Ireth
Myth Weaver
My latest WIP [working title: Holly, Oak and Stone] opens with the MC, Cadell, and his best friend Loegaire finding a band of black-elves tramping through the woods of Faerie, leaving destruction in their wake. Before they can do much to halt the destruction, other Fae arrive and start picking off the black-elves. Cadell and Loegaire join in the fight, and Loegaire is mortally wounded. Along come four light-elves, who had been pursuing the black-elves and wound up in Faerie unexpectedly as well. The light-elves go to a nearby human settlement, and bring a healer for Loegaire. Unfortunately, Loegaire dies before he can be fully healed. This prompts Cadell to take (completely misguided) revenge on the innocent healer, and that night he kidnaps him with the intent to torture and kill him. The healer's family saves him, along with the four light-elves.
I realize killing off the MC's best friend so early in the story may not be the wisest choice, since there's practically no time for the reader to develop any empathy for him. This is especially hard when his first plot-important action is to aid in the slaughter of total strangers -- he's meant to be a good guy, a rare thing among Fae, who are usually neutral at best. My idea for the rewrite is to have Loegaire not try to kill the black-elves at first, but rather attempt to speak with them. This won't do any good, because neither can understand the other's language. Also, the black-elves would mistake him for a light-elf from his appearance, and likely kill him on sight, thinking him a threat. This is not good for the plot, as it leaves no time for the healer to arrive, thus nullifying Cadell's revenge and forestalling the rescue attempt which winds up driving the whole rest of the plot, and Cadell's motivation for changing from someone who'd be the villain in another story to being the hero (as opposed to anti-hero) of his own. Basically, Loegaire has to die to kick off the whole story; it's just a matter of how.
Thoughts and comments are much appreciated.
I realize killing off the MC's best friend so early in the story may not be the wisest choice, since there's practically no time for the reader to develop any empathy for him. This is especially hard when his first plot-important action is to aid in the slaughter of total strangers -- he's meant to be a good guy, a rare thing among Fae, who are usually neutral at best. My idea for the rewrite is to have Loegaire not try to kill the black-elves at first, but rather attempt to speak with them. This won't do any good, because neither can understand the other's language. Also, the black-elves would mistake him for a light-elf from his appearance, and likely kill him on sight, thinking him a threat. This is not good for the plot, as it leaves no time for the healer to arrive, thus nullifying Cadell's revenge and forestalling the rescue attempt which winds up driving the whole rest of the plot, and Cadell's motivation for changing from someone who'd be the villain in another story to being the hero (as opposed to anti-hero) of his own. Basically, Loegaire has to die to kick off the whole story; it's just a matter of how.
Thoughts and comments are much appreciated.