Staccato

[Scales]

Should be in questions or research? I have been switching between the two.

How do I show in dialog that a character has rapid staccato?

With ellipses or lines?
“I... have... executed... two... of... the... damn... offenders!”
“I-have-executed-two-of-the-damn-offenders!”

Any ideas?

 

[Nihal]

I believe it should be in writing questions.

If I had to chose between the two I would pick the hyphen. The use of the ellipsis signals trailing off, it would have an effect inverse than the desired.

 

[Asterisk]

I don't understand what you mean by "staccato", but I would choose the hyphens. It gives it a short and disjointed feel.

 

[Nihal]

I didn't know either, what is another good reason to go with hyphens. We both did read it in a way it's closer to the desired effect without knowing what it was supposed to be at first.

 

[C Hollis]

Staccato - Talking like William Shatner acts.

Sorry.
Couldn't.
Re.
Sist.

 

[Nihal]

Actually a period translates to a full stop during the speech. =P

From what I've understood, staccato pause is shorter than a comma pause, it takes just enough time to show the two+ words aren't a single one.

 

[Scales]

Great video.
I will go with hyphens, but will publishers mind?

 

[BWFoster78]

Great video.
I will go with hyphens, but will publishers mind?

As a reader, I'd find it distracting. Consider writing it as normal dialogue and referring back to the effect it has on people.

 

[Scribble]

This scene came to mind from John Myers Myers novel Silverlock.

The main character is being led through the pit of a "Dante-esque" Hell by Faustopholes. On this level, there is a barker demonstrating the torment of this woman bearing the letter "A" sewn on her dress, who the MC mistakes for a girl he knew.

I'm not sure if that qualifies as stacatto, but it conveys the mode of speaking without drowning the reader in it. This work was published in 1949, and I think it works here. The character has only a handful dialogue lines. That worked for a short walk-on character, but for a character present throughout the book, I think I would tire of it quickly.

Anyhow, here's the scene:

The baby she was holding did not hide the letter 'A' sewed on the front of her dress. In other ways, too, she was differently clad from when I had last seen her; but that didn't make the identification any less positive. It was Rosalette!

Convinced, I began to push through the audience of queer-hatted men and over-dressed women. Meanwhile the barker was going on with his harangue.

"Now the re-markable thing about the scan-dalous conduct of this little lady is that she was not driv-en to it by any of the harsh nec-essities, a consid-eration for which makes us who have ten-der hearts con-done with if not par-don a har-lot's course of pro-cedure." He paused to smirk while his listeners exchanged knowing glances. "You will all excuse me, I am sure, if I do not choose to state what that course of pro-cedure is before a mixed au-dience.''

By that time I had elbowed my way to the front rank of onlookers. There Faustopheles caught up with me. He was glowering evilly, but I recalled my rights as explained by the custodian.

"I want to see this girl," I said, shaking off his hand. While speaking, I looked again to be sure, at close range, that I actually did know her. Feature by feature it was the face I remembered, though the stony control that held them all together was something new.

"What do you think you're going to do?" Faustopheles demanded; but I moved too quickly to be stopped.

I didn't know what I expected to accomplish myself, as I vaulted up on the platform. I was simply obeying an impulse to stand between defilement and something I honored. Whatever I believed or did not believe about myself or other people, it had not yet crossed my mind to think ill of her. If she was in any trouble, it must be somebody else's fault; but in any case she must not stand up there any longer to be a buckshow.

She glanced at me as I rose to confront her. Yet it was a bitterly self-contained look, with no hint of recognition.

"It's Shandon, Shandon Silverlock," I told her. "What are you doing here? Where's Aucando? What's happened?"

"He asks what has happened," the barker said, pushing me aside and winking at the crowd. "I have not time at this junc-ture to teach him the en-tire al-phabet of so-phistication; but I'll go as far as 'ABC' before pro-ceeding to disclose the mor-al lep-rosy of Hester here." With three quick taps of his pointer he indicated the letter on her dress, the infant she was holding, and the girl herself. "A's for adultery, B's for bastard, and C's for chippie." Picking me up by the nape of the neck, he dropped me off the platform. "Take him away, Faustopheles, I abjure you. This show is wasted on that degree of naiveté."

Baffled by the fact that the barker had used a strange name for the girl, I let myself be led off. We had gone perhaps a dozen paces before an explanation came to me. I balked.

"That's it! She's taking a rap that belongs to somebody else. They're calling that girl Hester, when it's not her name at all."

 

[wordwalker]

Actually, Scribble, that time it think it's being used not for staccato but to show that the barker is separating a syllable from the rest, slow-ing it down. I suppose the lesson is that punctuation suggests a particular speed, and could actually be slowing or speeding sounds depending on where they're used: unmarked is faster than a dash is faster than a comma is faster than an elipse is faster (well, less final) than a period.

And agreed, Shatner-speak is deliberately spread out, the opposite of staccato.

 

[Scales]

From the MG, Woorak's POV:
A worn out looking wolf approaches the pair, “Stranger and dragon!” He said each word with slowness.

 

[skip.knox]

Here's a general rule I follow. You can choose to follow it or not (see how generous I am?)

Never use typography to deliver meaning.

That is to say, write in such a way that the words themselves deliver the impact you want. Punctuation is necessary, but I try to control that, keeping exclamation points, colons, parentheses and other such riff-raff waiting on the porch. As someone once said to me, or I to them, this is about writing, not drawing.

It's a severe line to take, but rather like strenuous exercise, it can be salutary once you've done sweating.