Suddenly...

[Julian S Bartz]

For what it's worth, I like Svrtnsse's version best.

I agree. Removing suddenly changes the whole thing for me. I think you can get way too caught up in using and not using it. Good writing will make use of suddenly in such a way that the reader doesn't even realise that they have read the word.

I know that sounds a bit wierd, but its all about maintaining the constant reader. Suddenly conveys an abrupt event, so the focus for the reader should be solely on the event itself.

I also think it is something writers worry about way more than readers. I once talked to my beta readers about certain words, adverbs and suddenly. They all said that until I had mentioned them they didn't notice those things because they were caught up in what was happening. As writers we research and read a lot into technique and are far more aware of the word suddenly, so much so that it can jump out of a page and interupt our own reading.

They very best writers can make us miss the use of the word suddenly, but still utilise it to convey abruptness.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

I also think it is something writers worry about way more than readers. I once talked to my beta readers about certain words, adverbs and suddenly. They all said that until I had mentioned them they didn't notice those things because they were caught up in what was happening. As writers we research and read a lot into technique and are far more aware of the word suddenly, so much so that it can jump out of a page and interupt our own reading.

I totally agree. It's easy to turn a perfectly clear sentence into a paragraph that reads beautifully… but in a way that does more harm than good to your story.

If the words tell your story well and the story is working, nitpicking over an adverb may not be the best use of your time.



STEALTH EDIT - I almost immediately changed "best" to "most productive." How ironic is that?

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

Suddenly conveys an abrupt event, so the focus for the reader should be solely on the event itself.

I disagree with this statement. In my opinion, it's the exact opposite effect. The precursor "Suddenly" steals focus away from the event, making the comprehension of the sentence less abrupt.

It's like saying, "I'm about to show you something exciting. Ready? Okay, here it is...." I'd much rather the writer just show the happening itself. Going from point A to B can't be more abrupt. "Suddenly" acts as a speed bump.

 

[Penpilot]

I'm of the opinion that sometimes it's needed and sometimes it's not. But a lot of it has to do with how you're shaping your sentences. When ever I use adverbs there's a conscious choice on my part deciding this is the best choice. During edits, I always take adverbs as stop signs telling me to pause and think because there might be a better way, not just for a sentence but for describing the situation as a whole.

Caged Maiden wrote a nice example, but it doesn't have to be that drastic a change in length. The original is 29 words vs a revised version which is 36.

I sat in the living room, crunching on graham crackers as I wrote a post on Mythic Scribes. Suddenly, my cat started attacking the recliner for no apparent reason.

I don't know if mine is really better, but it's generally how I would have changed things given the situation. I think the "suddeness" comes from disrupting the typing and the eating and from the WTF reaction.

From the living room couch, I typed at my new post on Mythic Scribes. Graham crackers crunched in my mouth when the cat hissed. She leaped onto the recliner, and her claws slashed into leather. WTF.

my 2 cents *shrug*

 

[Julian S Bartz]

I disagree with this statement. In my opinion, it's the exact opposite effect. The precursor "Suddenly" steals focus away from the event, making the comprehension of the sentence less abrupt.

It's like saying, "I'm about to show you something exciting. Ready? Okay, here it is...." I'd much rather the writer just show the happening itself. Going from point A to B can't be more abrupt. "Suddenly" acts as a speed bump.

I get what you mean. In my point I meant that Suddenly is 'supposed' to convey an abrupt event. In terms of the purpose of the word. Whether it actually takes you out of the story as a reader or not is dependant on how well it is integrated into the writing.

And as I mentioned I firmly believe that readers who aren't writers are a lot less likely to pick up suddenly as an issue. As writers we are almost trained to look out for things like this and they jump out to us and make us second guess. Try it out and ask 10 of your friends (Who have no interest or experience in writing, but are readers) to read a passage with 'suddenly' and give you their feedback. And see how many of them mention the word suddenly without you telling them beforehand.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I think a lot of reading is subconscious. If a word is used in the flow of a good scene, I agree, readers probably won't notice it. Pacing is key. However, as T A Smith is saying, the use of the word in certain contexts actually defeats its own purpose.

Silence all around me and the room felt suddenly cold. IS BETTER THAN Suddenly, someone sprang from the shadows and buried his knife in my neck.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

I get what you mean. In my point I meant that Suddenly is 'supposed' to convey an abrupt event. In terms of the purpose of the word. Whether it actually takes you out of the story as a reader or not is dependant on how well it is integrated into the writing.

I won't argue against that. It could be the case, but....(See comment below).

And as I mentioned I firmly believe that readers who aren't writers are a lot less likely to pick up suddenly as an issue. As writers we are almost trained to look out for things like this and they jump out to us and make us second guess.

Yes, I'll agree that for the common reader, the one that doesn't read like a writer, it might not bother them. Heck, they might not be able to tell you they notice it. Again, no argument there. However, there's a reason we train as writers. One of those is to present the information as effectively as possible.

Your reader might not notice the word suddenly. However, that doesn't mean dropping that precursor wouldn't have a greater impact on the reader. To put it in perspective a bit, you'll have to excuse a hypothetical....

Imagine a reader, your run of the mill lover of stories. They read a passage, and a sentence somewhere toward the paragraph's end begins with "Suddenly,....". They move along thinking nothing of it. They still enjoy the story. No harm done, right?

Now, imagine we go back in time to the moment that reader begins that very same passage. But, this time, we've rewritten our "Suddenly,..." sentence by cutting that precursor. Is it possible that the feeling of suddenness now has a greater impact? Over time, could this enhance the enjoyment of the story, or at least the excitement of that paragraph and the one which follows? Is there an additive effect? I submit that it could, and that there is an additive effect, especially if done a moderate amount of times.

In light of this, as a writer, I'd rather use techniques which I think will aid the reader's experience. Whether or not they are aware of it is irrelevant, in my opinion. You may disagree and that's completely fine. It's merely my preference and part of my personal philosophy on writing.

 

[Feo Takahari]

To follow up on what Smith is saying, I don't think I naturally "read as a writer." Rather, I'll read a sentence and think "this feels awkward" or "this feels really long" or "this feels stop-and-start." If I choose to go into editing mode, I can think it over and figure out why it has that effect, tracing it to a particular word or structure, but the effect itself occurs before I consciously notice the structure.

Of course, there's some degree of variability here--as noted in responses to my previous post, my response to "suddenly" may be different from other people's responses. I think it's good to pick up two betas if you can, so you can figure out what only one cares about and what affects them both.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

As writers we are almost trained to look out for things like this and they jump out to us and make us second guess.

I agree. Second-guessing is a good thing, but too much of that means never finishing a story.

For myself, I want my story to be polished. I also want it finished. If getting hung up on one word prevents me from writing a couple thousand, I'm doing more harm than good.

My thought on the process is this:

• Write the words that come naturally.
• Finish the scene/chapter.
• Read your work (aloud).
• Fix only what is broken.
• Are you happy with your scene/chapter?
  If , write the next.
  If , it's still broken.

The word "suddenly" may be among the broken things, but if it didn't make you cringe while writing/editing, leave it. Beta readers may catch problems you didn't think of, and non-writers who are avid readers may not think "suddenly" is an issue. Or if it is, they'll catch the reason why the word doesn't work without necessarily tying the issue to that one word.

Spoiler: when the whole book is written

• Read the entire thing
• Edit a lot.
• Read the whole thing again.
• Edit again.
• Read again.
• Happy yet?
  If , send the queries!
  If , read and edit again...

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

My thought on the process is this:
[*]Write the words that come naturally.

I don't disagree, but I do try to train myself so the way I want to write becomes natural. To achieve that aim, I often have to deliberately practice a technique as I'm writing the first draft. Consciously paying attention to elements like word choices I want to avoid (like our "suddenly" precursor), passive voice, POV, etc. is the only way I've been successful at training style.

I'm sure others have success with different methods.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

I don't disagree, but I do try to train myself so the way I want to write becomes natural. To achieve that aim, I often have to deliberately practice a technique as I'm writing the first draft. Consciously paying attention to elements like word choices I want to avoid (like our "suddenly" precursor), passive voice, POV, etc. is the only way I've been successful at training style.

I'm sure others have success with different methods.

Well said. I consider that part of the process, especially for those of us still on our first million words.

 

[The Dark One]

Suddenly, nothing happened. (...with a nod to Monty Python.)

It's one of those words I tend to overuse in draft and find ways of deleting in edit. Not because I have any intrinsic problem with it - more because I don't like to use any word with noticeable frequency. When I find oft-repeated words as a reader it irritates me and distracts me from the flow, so I find it really embarrassing in my own work.

I would suggest that suddenly is nearly always the best word when sudden things happen. The question is, how often in the flow of your story should things be sudden? Sudden alerts the reader that things have changed. If things change too often the pace is wrong.