The First Age of Chronicle: A History

[virtualmayham]

These are the creation stories for my high/epic fantasy novels. Please enjoy and give feedback.
P.S. I am aware of most of the grammatical errors, I am working on fixing them in another draft.


Chronicle
Tales of the First Age
By:Virtualmayham
The First Age of Chronicle
The Age of the Gods

Of Void
In the beginning there was void. Void lacked time, and space. The only things were the Creators, the Gods. They did not think or act as we do, they simply were. Until one day, one, the eldest, awoke, in a sense, it, for gender did not yet exist. Upon this event, time began, for there was now a being to measure it. Then, as he began to look, if that is what we can call it, for sight did not yet exist, and as he looked space was created. He found the other Creators, and upon looking at them, created them. They too awoke, and began to think of new things to create. One said, there should be stars, for us to gaze upon, and so there were. Another said, there should be clothes, with which we can cover ourselves, and so there were. And they created things for their own pleasure, and the void began to fill, and became the universe. But the youngest still did not create, for she, gender had been created by the eldest brother, the first to awake, until one day, she grew lonely. She tired of the other Creators, and their selfish creations, she longed for companionship. And so, she created the first Creatures. She created a massive sphere for them to live on, and filled it with animals, dogs, cats, bears, and birds. She created the oceans and filled them with sharks, and whales. The other Creators laughed at her creations, they said that all her creations were foolish, they could not create, they could not do anything other then exist! She pondered on this, and created the first intelligent life, a race so old that their very name has been forgotten, they are simply called, the Elder. And they created, but not in the way that she anticipated, they built. They built homes, they built temples to her, whom they called the Mother. They built families, and they created something that none of the other Creators, other than the Mother, could comprehend, they created love, they created passion, they created anger, they created emotions. They other Creators saw the affection that they showered upon the Mother, and they grew jealous. They plotted as to how to get rid of her creation, and so destruction was created. One suggested a disease, to kill off all of the Elder. And so evil entered the world. The sickness ripped through the villages of the Elder, killing the young and the old. But the Elder were clever, they created medicine from plants that the Mother had created, and cured the sickness. In anger the Creators created earthquakes, tearing down the villages of the Elder, but they rebuilt, building stronger buildings. It seemed that nothing could destroy the Elder, they were just too resilient, and the Mother was pleased. Then they created sin. They took the emotions of jealously, anger, fear, and hatred and bestowed them onto the Elder. At first they seemed to be able to control those emotions, but after many years, after which the Creators had given up on destroying the Mother's creations, some began to succumb to the sins. As they fell, they created kingdom's, and war. The Mother was disgusted. Her creations were killing each other, and destroying! She abandoned them. The Creators had won, or so they thought. Some of the Elder realized what had happened, they realized that the Mother had forsaken them. They tried to rid themselves of their sin, but in the process, destroyed all emotion. Some, however, accepted it as part of life, saying that one must be good in spite of evil. You cannot have good without evil, they preached. Feeling guilty, the other Creators admitted to the Mother what they had done. She, in a fit of rage, nearly destroyed them, but she rushed back to the Elder to find them divided. She saw, upon her arrival, two groups, seemingly saintly people, free of evil, and a people that showed equal amounts of good and evil. She failed to see that in doing away with evil, some had also done away with good. She cast down the latter, bestowing upon them the new name, of Man. She raised the others as perfect, calling them Elderon. And so the Elderon became her chosen people, ruling the masses of Man.




The Fall of the Elderon
The Elderon ruled in peace for many years. They created technologies to improve the quality of life, and built larger, grander temples, and the Mother was pleased. However, beneath their facade of love for the Mother was a simmering resentment for her absolute power, although she did not abuse it, and in fact, rarely used it. The leaders of the Elderon began to plot rebellion. In the meantime, the race of Man had secretly learned to read, write, and speak, and plotted their own rebellion, against the Elderon. They created their own language, and after many years of observing, began to understand that of the Elderon. They, acting as the Elderon's slaves, learned of the planned revolt against the Mother, who, despite everything, Man still loved greatly. And so, on the eve of the rebellion, the whole race of Man prayed to the Mother, and she heard them, but was so startled that she did not have time to warn the other Creators of the plot. The Elderon attacked. The battle was fierce. The Creators, taken by surprise, tried to create things to aid them, but the Elderon had learned the art of Creation themselves, calling it magic, and soon overwhelmed them. The universe let out a keening wail as the Creators were destroyed, one by one, for they were the universe, and by destroying them, parts of the very universe fractured. The Mother heard the dying cries of her siblings and was afraid. She fled the world, and hid in the far reaches of the universe. The universe punished the Elderon, who now declared themselves kings of all creation. The dying powers of the Creators imbued Man with many powers, intelligence, strength, and the ability to create, to work magic as the Creators did. And so, they rebelled. The fight was gruesome, as both sides created and destroyed. Men died, the Elderon were slain. Then, both races lay near extinction, when in one last charge, Man defeated the Elderon. They had won. The Elderon fell and became the Elves of today. Defeated, they scattered across the world. Man relished their new found freedom. They spread across the world and began to multiply.

 

[virtualmayham]

In the Earth's Womb of Stone
Some men dispersed far to the north, disappearing into the harsh land of Northreach. There ancient creatures lay, untouched by civilization. The weather was cold, there was little food to be found, on the surface that is. Many men died that first winter, but some survived. They quickly learned that it was dangerous to even leave the shelters in broad daylight. And so they soon retreated into the ground. They built tunnels spanning across the world, living underground, farming and mining the fruits of the earth. As time passed their eyes grew sensitive to sunlight, for they rarely ventured to the surface. Due to the low ceilings, they grew shorter and stouter than other men. They created their own kingdom in the subterranean world that they lived in. They called themselves Dwarves, people of the stone. They built the cavern city of Odavid (oh-dah-vid), and crowned the first King of the Stone, Forodeen (For-oh-deen). They thrived for many years, trading with other races of Men, occasionally clashing over land and riches.




Deep in the Heart of Mirth
To the south were the Forests of Mirth. The canopy hung low, and the forest below was darker than the caves of the Dwarves. Strange creatures without legs, and spiders that can kill a grown man with one bite inhabited this hostile land, where few dared to venture. Those that did survived by living in houses in the trees, making bridges and ladders to get from place to place. Over time they formed villages, and these villages eventually came to form the Mirth Alliance, a loose coalition of villages that banded together for survival. They worked as a democracy, of sorts, where the people voted on matters in their village, and each village counted as one vote in the annual Mirth Council. They had no king, no ruler. As time passed they grew small in stature, and quick of wit and foot. They rarely ventured from their forest home, and so became the stuff of legend, small Halflings that live in the woods, and kept poisonous spiders as pets, and ate legless lizards. They were often used to keep small children away from the strangers and woods, where they might get lost.


Primal
Some men traveled back to the lands that they inhabited as the Elder, in the Central Plains of the worlds, living a nomadic life along the Great River and its tributaries. They succumbed to their earlier primal emotions, influenced by the lingering spirit of the Mother, unknowingly of course. They lived in tribes of no more than sixty or seventy, raiding other human lands for food, and wealth. Two tribes never met except to do battle, using only their hands, feet, teeth, and their claw-like fingernails. They truly became no more than beasts, just as fierce as the great dragons of the north, the vicious boars of the west, and the terrible monsters of the south. However, every third summer they would congregate in the Canyon of Ancients along the Great River to talk, brag, trade, and make merry. There old rivalries were forgotten, and new friendships were forged. This was called the Meet of Foes, in spite of its rather party-like atmosphere. Great battles were staged using weak man's weapons of swords and shields, and young boys proved themselves in hand-to-hand combat, or died trying. These fearsome brutes became known, and feared, throughout the world as the Plainsmen, or Gor, as they call themselves.



A People of Honor
The final race of Man are the Men of Loreshire. They lived in the valley of Gondale to the west, along the Mother Sea. The mountains touched the clouds, protecting the original settlers there from the majority of beast. The floodplain that was the valley provided rich farmland, and there were many animals such as cows and goats, who were easily domesticated. It was here that Man thrived in its original form, hunting, farming, and living off the land. Again, houses became villages, villages became cities, and cities became an empire. They formed the Land of Loreshire, fighting in legions of men wielding swords, lances, bows and arrows. However, there was no-one for them to fight other than the occasional Plainsmen raid. Eventually, rulers of each city became ambitious, and sought to conquer one another. The young and weak emperor was killed and the cities of Loreshire dissolved into smaller countries fighting for land and power.

And so ends the First Age of

I'm looking for just some tips about what would make this more in-depth, make the world seem more realistic/logical. Also, if there are any inaccuracies or inconsistencies please tell me!

 

[Queshire]

tl;dr. Can you provide a summary and what exactly type of feed back you want, or are you just crowing about your own work? Which I fully endorse by the way as I often do the same.

 

[Ghost]

Perhaps this thread could be moved to the Showcase and virtualmayham could specify what sort of feedback their looking for?

 

[virtualmayham]

I'm looking for just some tips about what would make this more in-depth, make the world seem more realistic/logical. Also, if there are any inaccuracies or inconsistencies please tell me! Finally, at the time of posting this I had only ONE post. You need five in order to access the Showcase section. Didn't want to break any rules, especially since I am new here.