The Inner Critic

[Mindfire]

So I've finally gotten back to actually working on my draft rather than just making story and worldbuilding notes... and it's a lot harder than I remember. In fact I think this is the reason I focus more on notes than the draft to begin with. I have an exceptionally loud and obnoxious inner critic. Whenever I sit down to write I constantly think things like "that sounds stupid", "this chapter is going to be way too short", "what is the point of that sentence", etc. It makes me want to cry. In short, I'm one of those people who constantly edits while they're writing. Which is probably one of the reasons why I've been working on this same draft, in one form or another, for nearly 8 years now. :biggrin: Just to be clear,those 8 years were not wasted. During that time my world and story have developed into something more original and unique and far less goofy than their original conception. But while the worldbuilding and overall story arc have grown by leaps and bounds, the draft itself- you know, the most important part- seems to be stuck in purgatory. How do I stop criticizing myself enough to finish it?

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

It seems to me that you may have two separate issues giving you difficulty. First, the inner critic you admittedly are having trouble containing. Second, I'd suggest you have a touch of world-builders disease. Before, you say yes or no to the latter, allow me to elaborate a bit.

It is easier, in my experience, to make notes about concepts & ideas than it is to pass those ideas onto another person, through characters. The ideas we have for a scene, for example, are easy to understand in our own minds. After all, we are the originators of the idea. We inherently understand all of the background, all of the intricacies, all of the imagery we wish to convey.

Putting that across to another person, a reader, through written words alone, isn't easy. In fact, it's damn hard to do with clarity and, at the same time, keep it interesting & laced with emotional sympathy. This is why I believe ideas are cheap & is all about the execution. So...and don't take this the wrong way... I'd guess you either find the task daunting, and have some fear of committing yourself to the risk of writing. You now have to really put yourself out there. It's now something you intend another to read. No longer is it just for you. -OR- You have spent too much time on the construction of a fantasy world and plots, and not enough practicing the actual craft of writing. Perhaps it's a touch of both. I can't know for certain, but you can if you want. It just takes some honest introspection, free of any self-delusion.

Now that's been said.... Sometimes I find my inner critic is nothing more than another delaying device, brought on by that same fear. Every single night I sit down to write, I face that fear. It manifests itself in different ways.

"I'm too tired."
"It's not as good as my favorite writer's work."
"I'd better go edit before I continue."

That list could go on for awhile, but you get the idea. In the end, each night, I have to force doubt aside and choose. Do I want to write this story? Do I want to be a professional? YES...so get to work and apply yourself. Allow yourself to err, but get the words down. Revise it into something great, but take that first step or throw in the towel. That's the real choice. Face those doubts. Recognize them for what they truly are, then beat them into submission. Don't accept your own excuses. Above all, have courage and believe in yourself.

Yes, there will be moments of inspiration. However, if you want to stumble upon them with any regularity, you'll have to be working with consistency.

These are, of course, my experiences and guesses on your experience. Some, or all, may not apply. I hope this helps.

 

[wordwalker]

One trick:

Show it to someone else --the right someone, maybe not a genius but a decent reader and a person you respect-- before you edit it. Hearing early on that even parts of it work can do a lot for your confidence with the next scene, and in editing that one. If it's hard to convince yourself to show it, call it a study in getting someone's opinion on Before and After editing, and what those patterns can show you in the long term.

 

[Devor]

I had a different post here, but on rereading the OP I deleted it. I was thinking that after 8 years of rewriting the concept the manuscript must be a mess, but Mindfire's specific examples don't seem to point that way.

There are usually two sides to the internal critic. One is the self-criticism, and the other is the physical anxiety that comes with it. You've got to deal with both if you want to move past it to tackle your manuscript. It's simple on paper, but it's a pain in real life. It means shifting the way you think about the problem on a permanent basis.

You have to be willing to accept:

1) Your writing is good enough. Any problems can be fixed later, when it's time to fix them.

2) The stress that comes when you sit down to write is your body trying to rise to the challenge. It's only anxiety if you believe it's a bad thing and teach your body to fight it. Here's a source on that (I'm on a Ted Talk kick lately).

As I said, it isn't easy.

I will of course add the standard advice: Set a word count goal and write every day, so that you will adjust and get used to it.

 

[deilaitha]

Ah, the inner critic. My life-long nemesis.

What you describe is similar to something I have gone through. Replace 8 years with 10. Similar situation of the years not being wasted, since the world has evolved, gotten better, etc, not to mention the fact that I went to college and then worked full time to help put my husband through grad school. I would work on the story intermittently, always coming up with great ideas, but every time I put them to paper, the critic would chime in.

I have a couple of suggestions for you. First, let me tell you about the last couple of years. Around two years ago, I decided to set my story aside and start writing a different novel. (Saying farewell for now was very painful, but I promised my story that I would come back for it. It seriously was like a scene from a bad romance movie.) Now, I have a complete first draft of my WIP and am editing it.

Thus, the first suggestion: if you can't beat the inner critic, put aside your current WIP and start on something else. Not only will you have less of an emotional attachment to the new story, you will be leaving behind any of the "oh, I've been working for years and years on this and it's still not done!" thoughts you might have. The inner critic will still be there, but the criticisms won't hurt the same way that they did.

That brings me to the second suggestion. Positive reframes. This is something that I have been practicing for years. Like I said, the inner critic is my life-long nemesis and you might imagine it affects me beyond my writing. So, as your inner critic starts to weigh in its opinion, you counter back with positive reframes. For example:

IC: That is the world's biggest expository clump. You really suck at writing.
PR: Right now I am getting down the information for my story. I am good at writing because I recognize this isn't perfect right now, but no one gets it perfect on the first try. When I go back to edit, I will have plenty of opportunities to make it just right.

IC: You realize that the section you just edited is even worse now, right?
PR: I realize that this is not exactly what I want it to be right now, but I have to power to change it and make it what I want to be. For now I will keep it this way and see if it works, and if it doesn't, change it again. That's what good writers do. I am a good writer.

So, it sounds totally cheesy, I know, but when you practice it regularly, you find that the inner critic is a lot more quiet. You begin to see writing as a process full of change, like wet clay. It's really empowering.

 

[deilaitha]

It means shifting the way you think about the problem on a permanent basis.

You have to be willing to accept:

1) Your writing is good enough. Any problems can be fixed later, when it's time to fix them.

This. So, completely, totally this.

 

[buyjupiter]

I'd like to offer three pieces of advice:

1. Write. Write 'til it hurts.

2. Set little goals for yourself. Start with ten or fifteen minutes of just writing. No editing/revising. Let the same sentence come out in four different ways. Use the same word on the same page fifteen times. Don't edit/revise until you're done with the scene/chapter/first draft. Work your way up to working on it for longer periods of time without editing.

#2 has been the greatest time saver for me. Sometimes I fail and when I'm rereading a previous chapter/scene before I start to write I edit a word here and there. But for the most part this is what has saved me from giving up on it. This is what has saved the passion I've felt for the piece I'm writing.

3. If your inner critic likes to compare your writing style with a finished product, remind it that even for the most successful writer it took them years and years of writing badly before they learned how to write well. (And for some, it may be that they just learned how to revise well.)

If all else fails, tell it to shut up and let you write.

 

[Guru Coyote]

Just now reading your original entry, Mindfire, and then watching the TED talk Devor linked... has given me so much just now. Thank you both.

About that TED Talk:
At the moment when she asks the audience to:
"count backwards from 996 in increments of seven" I stated to laugh. Maybe my reaction to stress isn't all that bad

So now, back to writing.

 

[Helen]

So I've finally gotten back to actually working on my draft rather than just making story and worldbuilding notes... and it's a lot harder than I remember. In fact I think this is the reason I focus more on notes than the draft to begin with. I have an exceptionally loud and obnoxious inner critic. Whenever I sit down to write I constantly think things like "that sounds stupid", "this chapter is going to be way too short", "what is the point of that sentence", etc. It makes me want to cry. In short, I'm one of those people who constantly edits while they're writing. Which is probably one of the reasons why I've been working on this same draft, in one form or another, for nearly 8 years now. :biggrin: Just to be clear,those 8 years were not wasted. During that time my world and story have developed into something more original and unique and far less goofy than their original conception. But while the worldbuilding and overall story arc have grown by leaps and bounds, the draft itself- you know, the most important part- seems to be stuck in purgatory. How do I stop criticizing myself enough to finish it?

If it's the first story, it sounds like you're a perfectionist and want your first one to be a masterpiece. I'd say give yourself permission to let it be imperfect and move onto the next one. As you move through stories, so your psychological blocks will disappear.

If you've successfully completed stories before, then I don't know what the hell is going on.

 

[BWFoster78]

Mindfire,

You are exactly the person that the advice "it's okay for the first draft to suck" is directed to.

Write a first draft of a chapter and don't look at it again until you finish draft of the entire book. You'll think, "it sucks." I'll agree with you. It does. But it doesn't matter. Move on; that's what the second draft is for (and the third and the fourth and, for me, the fifth).