Thoughts on writing music in prose, not musical prose

[2WayParadox]

Hi,

since it's my first thread on this forum, I thought I'd make it a difficult one to answer.
The culture I'm working on has music as an important element of daily life, so I'm trying to work out for myself how I can write it in a way that captures the feel of the music in writing.
I've written music before and as far as I could tell, I managed to work it out fairly well. I don't like using metaphors too much, I prefer to express what's happening through my choice of verbs. It also works to show the characters' responses to the music and the actions they perform while they hear it, how the music influences their immediate choices.

However, the scenes I've written before were meant to showcase the fact that music was there. They weren't common in the entire story, they were special events. If I want music to be an important background element throughout a story, then a different approach will be needed I think. There are only so many different verbs that are useful. And I don't think just mentioning that there's music in the background is worth spending any paper on, it needs to come through as an important cultural fact.

So what I'm looking for here are some insights and thoughts on this, so I can look at this issue in new ways.

Thanks for your time,
2WayParadox

 

[KC Trae Becker]

I have a similar people group that I'm working with, where music pervades the culture, but I lack any musical training to try to communicate this cultural situation.

My plan is to show someone learning about the music, show people in the background making and enjoying music and give some examples of songs and dances.

As far as I know the only way to imitate music with words alone is with the rhythm and cadence of your words. That sounds like a daunting task though.

 

[Penpilot]

If you want the fact of music being important in the lives of the people, then just show how it's weaved into the fabric of their culture. How is music incorporated into the everyday mundane things. What are the songs they sing when doing farming, weaving, washing dishes, etc.

How about their clothing? What about religion and government? What's music's role in these things? How are the affected by music.

Also, just mentioning the titles of the songs can give a feel for the music.


I think you're on the right track with having the important events be where you focus on the music the most. These IMHO will be your anchor points. Everything else will probably be support.

What I mean by this is when you want something to be felt throughout a story, first you have to have your key anchor points. Second, in between those anchor points, all you have to do is choose a few choice moments to remind the reader about that element.

How you do that, I mentioned above. They can have clothing with songs woven into them, armor too. Maybe the government hierarchy is based on music notes. I could go on, but again, just think about the society, and when you bring out that, I think the music will follow.

 

[2WayParadox]

I have neither the training nor the intention to try and use rhythm and cadence. Sure, when I write I try to make my sentences and my paragraphs fluent, it's one of the main thigns I focus on when editing. But I don't want to write poetry, I want a clear story.

The plan you propose has merits and demerits
1) showing someone learning about music could be useful to show its importance, but I would personally do it with a child in a family context, and I don't know if I will have a scene like that soon enough in the story or if I will have one in the first place
2) showing people in the background enjoying the music reduces the effort to a description of the setting, it's somethign on the level of showing how the people involved respond when it starts to rain. Are they happy with the rain and do they stay outside? Do they clump together under trees? Etc. I don't know how much I will actually be able to do this, but I'd like for music to be part of the interaction between people
3) giving examples of songs comes down to adding song texts I presume? Personally, I'm someone who skips thigns like that when reading
4) dances on the other hand are good, they're hard to capture and serious dancing isn't done just willy nilly, but I've found them to be useful

But I do want to be clear, music is a part of social life in what I'm aiming for, not somethign akin to magic

 

[spectre]

If you really want to nail music as a part of everday life then you need to think smaller than big events or perhaps even day to day responses, into the realm of habit. "Amy's father whisked about the front room whistling *the song title* and filling in the chorus with his cheerful singing as he....like he did everyday in a ritual that brought *emotion* to the house in the mornings and *did something* to the mood in the evenings. Amy often found herself singing a similar tune in the mirror...",

This also gives you an opportunity to explain the song, reactions to the song and singing from Amy, and perhaps even deeper meanings. Set your sentences up to inquire of a follow up sentence whereas a lot of progression in writing can be done merely by continuously describing a thought, to a proposed action, to a course of action, to a result. You want your sentences to immerse the reader in this culture (or so it seems), so make use of leading your reader into the culture.

And don't stop at singing, describes how everyday sounds affect the people from the rhythmic fall of rain to the sudden intrusion of thunder. You can create a faith system around that, warn of omens; etc. Create your own instruments and rituals like the First Song, or the Last Song; etc. That much is perhaps more obvious to your idea but so long as you listen to everything you are seeing as you write, you can more readily convey what you see loudly or softly or melodically or what have you.

"Mira sat under an old Maple tree in a thick Rainstrand spun dress. She sat nervously rehearsing the hymn she had made for her First Song, recalling the melodic singing of the Water Thrushes as they perched above the Rainbushes in Sunsong trees by the lake. She tried to get the tune in sync to their chorus, with a fast falsetto at the end like she always heard before the flock broke out of the canopy with the chaotic flapping of wings rattling loose the leaves as scores of birds burst from their boughs up above where the only thing greater than their music was the whirring of the great wind."

I realize it isn't the most melodic thing you ever heard, in fact I find this "exercise" tough, but I think at least if you can keep the reader concentrated on sound in and of itself, then the music will take shape as an imaginative element. You'll have to create a harmony where you write lyrics or otherwise are communicating in song, but you can sing that to yourself once you have the feel of what kind of music is involved.

INSOFAR AS THE LIMITATION OF VERBS you readily know that even if you use the same verb repeatedly, the mere situation can change what it means and how a reader feels when they're reading. Any verb can be useful:

Her tone jumped up
His voice swayed
She gave a short pause

Dances were somber until the maestro cued us all and we stomped loudly upon the ground like the dancers were talking to each other. The stomping gave way to men and women swiping the side of their foot along the wooden floor making scraping sounds as if they were beginning to argue when the voice of reason broke in, and so and so sang a really great song...

Man, you did pose a really tough one to visualize...er....hear

 

[2WayParadox]

I think it might be necessary to give an example of what I've written before, using music. However, keep in mind that's from an erotic piece.

When Tom came back home, the place was dark and silent. He had hoped to find Ruth still awake but she wasn’t up. He wanted to talk to her about Alex, their last hours together had been tough again. He sighed, resigning himself to talking about it in the morning. At least he could hold her while he dozed off. He stepped into his bedroom but there was nobody there, the duvet hadn’t even been touched. Maybe she went home, he was disappointed but he could understand that she’d rather not wait around on her own.
He decided to grab a beer from the fridge, the act of popping the bottle cap and experiencing the familiar taste would calm him down and help him to set foot back into normality. Halfway to the kitchen, he stopped when he heard crying coming from one of the guest rooms. He knocked on the door and made his way into the room.
“Ruth? I’m coming in.”
He sat down next to her on the bed and she crawled up against him, clinging to him. He held her close until she calmed down and asked
“What’s wrong, Ruth?”
“I was feeling alone. One moment you’re there and the next you’re gone, off to take care of Alex. And it wasn’t like we were doing nothing in particular, I wanted to spend more time with you. And still you leave as soon as you finish your call, like I’m nothing to you. It makes me wonder if we feel the same for each other.”
He squeezed her close to him and said
“I’m sorry about leaving you alone like that, it’ll get better when she gets over this rough patch. There’s nothing I can do about that, it will be hard for a while longer. But I can’t accept that you doubt whether I feel the same way you do. I want you to show me what it is that you fear losing so much that you cry by yourself in the dark.”
He let her go and flipped back the duvet, she was naked so he unbuttoned his shirt and draped it over her. He picked her up in his arms and she rolled against him, cuddling up, enveloped in his presence and his smell. The past hours spent worrying and crying faded away, dissolving in this bubble of warmth and strength. He draped her on top of his bed and watched her try to protect herself from the cool air with just his shirt. It was a beautiful sight to see her fumble with it like a little kitten. He leaned over her and whispered into her ear
“Ruth, I want you to dance and let me watch you, from the start until you feel like you’re finished.”
She peeked out from under the shirt and hesitantly lowered it.
“I don’t feel like dancing.”
“Use it to show me what you feel for me, Ruth. Once you’ve shown me, I can tell you if I feel the same.”
Still confused Ruth kept quiet until she heard the music he put on. The shrill tune of a single sitar shimmered through the room. It spoke of longing and loneliness. The sitar’s desires went unfulfilled for the rest of the song, it tried to call out to anyone who might join it but nobody did. The song ended in a soft, dying note.
“Do you think the sitar player was smiling while he played this song? He couldn’t have been. I want you to take your time and ponder what it is you feel when you’re with me. Look for it in the music and show it to me through the way you move your body, tell it to me without words.”
Unsure of herself, she switched places with Tom. He laid down on his back, looking up at her. A second song was playing now, the sitar joined by a flute. They shied away from each other, never playing at the same time. Still, she could feel the curiosity of the flute and the joy of the sitar, mixed with fear to drive this new marvel away.
She tried to look into herself, tried to see if the music fit what she felt. She shook her head and flipped through songs until she finally found what she was looking for. It was an energetic mix of all kinds of instruments, swirling in a vortex of joyful sounds. She could see the musicians smiling and swaying as they played their parts.
She turned up the volume and let the sound whirl and bounce through the room. She pictured herself when they were together, she saw her own surprise and her inevitable smile. She saw his eyes on her and the myriad feelings his look could awaken within her. She felt her chest swell up and she couldn’t stay still any longer.
She stretched her arms above her head, running her hands through her hair and letting it fall in a shimmer of copper and gold. She focused on him and she was pleased when his eyes were following her hand as it slowly traveled down her face, caressing her cheek and stopping at her clavicle. Her hips swayed and she seductively twisted them, stretching her flat stomach, showing off her toned body.
She felt his eyes on her, felt that he was trying to understand what she was telling him. Her body was open to him, her expression was clear. She teased herself because she knew it would please him. She was dancing for him, the feelings bubbling up were because of him. Her best memories were because of him.
She danced, no longer listening to the music. She responded to the sounds and let her body take over. Tom was mesmerized, somehow she seemed more than the woman he had met. In front of him was a vision of female mystery and enticement. One side of him wanted to jump up and devour her but the other side was nailed to the bed. By the time he realized she had stopped dancing, she was already by the bedside.
“That was amazing. I don’t know what…”

Now what I was referring to in the original post is music as part of the social sphere, something that's part of how people communicate. I don't need any ritualized forms of it, I just want it to be somethign that's organically part of what these people do. When they feel good, they play happy music, if something bad happened, they will play sad music and then, when they feel like it, they will play fiery music that makes them dance wildly and forget about things.

The music guides how they act, it amplifies what they are trying to say or do. I want people's thoughts on that.

 

[spectre]

Ok, I had a completely different notion of what type of fantasy you were writing. I read your scene, and while I thought it was excellent, I don't see a connection with music that is anything greater than how most people view music in daily life, as a source of inspiration and an outlet. I mean I could have read that in a thriller, or horror, or just about any genre. Short of asking if you're intending to write a musical I'm not sure of what you need, so sorry man. I do like your writing though, and not just because it was an erotic scene, haha. Nonetheless, if you could write a more relevant scene that might portray musics impact where readers might not expect it, I'll try to make a more useful comment.

 

[2WayParadox]

I'm working on Fantasy right now, I started with erotica to practice my writing. And if I'm honest, I want to continue writing it. I'm glad you liked the scene, even going as far as calling it excellent.

But the way you describe it is exactly the way I meant my initial post. I'm loosely basing the culture I'm working with on old Greek culture, where music was part of many daily events (think of the double flutes used on the march). I'm seeing it as a tool to strengthen what happens in the story.