Yeah, yeah, I know. We've been over this one. But bear with me a moment. I have a specific example for you. I'll summarize the passage in question, then I'll talk about what my beta reader noticed. Summary first.
A character, Talysse, can fly. She has just escaped from a wizard by flying out to sea, then veering back to land. She's flying over marshland, in southern France, quite low because she is worn out and is just trying to make it to solid ground. Then comes this line, the first in a new paragraph.
Thunder erupted beneath her.
The paragraph goes on to describe a vast flock of flamingos rising into the air, in such numbers that they knock her out of the sky.
End of summary.
My beta reader assumed that the thunder came from the wizard, who either cast a lightning bolt or simply caused thunder, causing the flamingos to startle skyward. What I assumed was that the thunder was from the wings of the birds, a thunderous sound if you have ever heard it.
You see the issue. I as the author would *never* have caught this. To me, the passage was perfectly clear and exactly right. For the reader, though, he had trouble; specifically because if the wizard could track and target her at distance, why did he later have such trouble finding her? And indeed that would be a problem. Were it the case.
Even more interesting, to me, was that this would never even come up if this were not fantasy. Admittedly, lit fic rarely gets flying girls, but leave that aside for a moment. Thunder erupting would never be viewed as stemming from magic in any genre save for fantasy. So, you don't merely need an editor (beta reader, critiquer) who is literate, you need one who is literate in the genre.
I was just struck with how specific this example was for the editing process.
A character, Talysse, can fly. She has just escaped from a wizard by flying out to sea, then veering back to land. She's flying over marshland, in southern France, quite low because she is worn out and is just trying to make it to solid ground. Then comes this line, the first in a new paragraph.
Thunder erupted beneath her.
The paragraph goes on to describe a vast flock of flamingos rising into the air, in such numbers that they knock her out of the sky.
End of summary.
My beta reader assumed that the thunder came from the wizard, who either cast a lightning bolt or simply caused thunder, causing the flamingos to startle skyward. What I assumed was that the thunder was from the wings of the birds, a thunderous sound if you have ever heard it.
You see the issue. I as the author would *never* have caught this. To me, the passage was perfectly clear and exactly right. For the reader, though, he had trouble; specifically because if the wizard could track and target her at distance, why did he later have such trouble finding her? And indeed that would be a problem. Were it the case.
Even more interesting, to me, was that this would never even come up if this were not fantasy. Admittedly, lit fic rarely gets flying girls, but leave that aside for a moment. Thunder erupting would never be viewed as stemming from magic in any genre save for fantasy. So, you don't merely need an editor (beta reader, critiquer) who is literate, you need one who is literate in the genre.
I was just struck with how specific this example was for the editing process.