My emotion is blocking my progress

[srebak]

When i was writing my fantasy novel (which is still far from being complete by the way), i saw an opportunity to vent my anger towards certain people, people who have bullied me in the past. I was gonna base certain unlikable characters on these people or at least give them the same names, then i was gonna have incredibly horrible things happen to them (like they get eaten or vaporized or just torn apart limb from limb). I'm not entirely sure that it's working, but i am still trying.

Plus, this line of thought has also carried over to my plans for my fanfiction as well. One is a fan-made Second Season for a show that ended after one season and the other is a fan-made sequel series to a show that i liked. Since both of the shows in question had the main character suffer a long list of problems and issues (mistreatment, insults, being shown up, betrayal and people speaking out against almost every decision they make) it seemed like a good idea to subtly voice my concerns towards this mistreatment. In the fan-made Season two project, i was going to have certain characters debate the issue and have the main character finally vent about how he was mistreated. In the Sequel series idea, i was going to have the Main Character vent and have an evil twin of the Main Character being acting out on these frustrations.

The problem is, these ideas seem to be backfiring on me in a number of ways. For one thing, i seem to be placing the MCs on heroic pedestals, which is not only considered bad by most fans, but also seems to come at the expense of the other characters' skills, personalities and development. However, the biggest problem for me is that my sympathy for the MCs is causing me to have writers' block; I keep thinking of new ways for the characters to voice their anger and frustration (and dare i say even hate) that i'm losing track of everything else. For example: I keep thinking of new ways for the villain of my Sequel series idea to be tempting the hero that i'm not sure i know how to make what villain is saying wrong or something the hero would want to ignore.


Any thoughts (i think that's how i'll end threads like these)?

 

[Feo Takahari]

I'm not sure if this is something you'd want to do, but it sounds like the simplest solution would be to have your heroes become villains. Have them give in completely to their hate, and show exactly how that twists and distorts them.

Of course, this is without knowing what fandom you're in--it's entirely possible that this would be massive character distortion. (Then again, if that's the case, you're probably distorting them already.)

 

[Penpilot]

Writing can be very cathartic. Writing stories can let you work through personal issues, but at the end of the day the story still has to come first, and your characters and situations have to be more than excuses for you to vent.

My suggestion would be maybe write some stories just for yourself that you don't intend to share with anyone else. Use those to vent your frustrations and anger first.

Your experiences and the emotions that come out of them are raw material from which you tap into. It's a resource to be used to construct something new. In story telling at least, it's not supposed to dominate and take over your work.

Maybe the reason you're MCs are on heroic pedestals is because they're basically you. You're certain you're right, so the bad guys are black hearted wrong. Look I don't know you, your situation, or those people that bullied you, but try to shift perspectives a little. Ask yourself why these people decided to make your life miserable. Chances are the answer isn't as simple as they're A-holes. Some times it is, but try thinking about what if that's not the case. What would make someone be a bully. Maybe they're lives are pretty miserable and they were wrongly taking out their frustrations on you, just because you're there.

And now if you think about it, you're dishing it back to the bullies through story, and in a way you're bullying these characters. Please don't take this as condemnation in any way. These are just my thoughts base on the short post you've made. But in a way you're not giving these characters any chance to be anything other than the one-dimensional villain. There's no chance for redemption for them or at the very least an opportunity for them to see the error of their ways. There's no opportunity to learn their story of how they came to be who they are, and maybe garner them a bit of understanding. They're just whipping boys for your righteous hero to beat on and kill.

Maybe that's why you're blocked. There's no story being told. There's just a situation where bad stuff happens. There's no lesson being espoused or understanding being gained through the telling of this "story".

But I can be wrong. My two cents, for what it's worth.

 

[Scribble]

Maybe you should try changing places. Take a bold step and try identifying with the other characters instead.

One of the benefits of growing older, I see now that I have done things very wrong that I previously felt to be right. I once thought I was the hero, when in many aspects I have also been the villain, sometimes I felt I was the hero while doing it, and sometimes I knew full well I was doing things I would regret or be ashamed to admit, however, I always felt justified in some way. I have a much more honest and less idealistic understanding of myself, and I think that lends itself to my writing in a positive way (I hope!).

We all want to feel like we are right, even the people who do "wrong" in our eyes. So, it seems like you have all the materials, you just need to look at them from a different angle. When we understand the other person as a person and not a caricature, we find that we understand ourselves more. We are bullies, thieves, murderers, all of us. All that separates us is perspective and circumstance.

Sympathetic villains are more interesting to read about - because they are like us. We hate their deeds, but if we can be seduced to understand their side and understand them, they become real.

Tolkien is fun, but his key villains are ridiculously 2 dimensional, the wraiths. They are more like a force of nature than actual characters, same for the orcs.

The real villain is within US... the desire for power. All his heroes shun power and only take it at the end of need. Gollum is fascinating because he is Smeagol and Gollum. If he was only Gollum, we'd grow tired of him. It is because he has redeeming qualities that he is interesting to read about. We understand his motivations, they make sense, and they aren't "because he is bad". He has conflicts with those warring aspects of himself, literally as two personalities!

Frodo and Gollum are what it's all about - there is good in both, evil in both, all mixed together. Frodo becomes interesting not because he is a sweet little hobbit... but because there is evil in the hero!

 

[Scribble]

Something often skimmed over in LOTR is the fact that the hobbits DID steal Gollum's ring! You could write Gollum as the hero quite easily.

1. Someone stole his most precious thing
2. Gollum goes out into the dangerous world to get it back (QUEST)
3. He gets captured and tortured, they force him to tell who has the ring (SETBACK)
4. Now he has to avoid the Big bad guys while tracking the hobbit bad guys
5. He almost gets it, then they capture and subdue him
6. They force him to lead them to the place where they will destroy his most precious thing
7. He comes up with a plan, Shelob
8. That backfires
9. He tracks them to the mountain
10. He finally gets it back, all is well with the world, then dies tragically trying to save it, all is lost


Who is the the hero of that story now?

 

[sorcererpublishing]

I agree with many of the posters here that perhaps you should start to build your characters around a tragic hero or villain lens. Some of the more interesting characters in fiction have been anti-heroes or villains. Raistlin Majere comes to mind as does Walter White or even Joe Carrol. As a publisher though I would warn against writing too close to the vest when it comes to other real life people as it can in some cases open up legal issues. I've seen it happen twice.

When I write I like to think of the first draft or even the second as a form of therapy. I had a general idea of my characters and the plot and I just write whatever comes to mind. I could have a great paragraph describing a deep emotion and then several paragraphs about how much I hate my in-laws only to jump back to the story. I then edit all of that out in my second draft and continue on my way. It helps me to get out all of those feelings blocking my progress and eventually leaves only the story and the characters. I wish you the best of luck on your journey! And remember...KEEP WRITING. Even if it sucks, KEEP WRITING. That is the only way to get better.

 

[Caged Maiden]

So, I began writing in 2001 when I worked at a car dealership. I hated my job, had LOADS of down time to write, and just happened to make a few bit part characters resemble the other car salesmen and a few bad things happened to them. So, I totally understand what's going on. Unfortunately, where I used my "therapy" as a really small part of my book and focused mostly on the story, it seems you might have created an imbalance in the amount of time and energy you wanted to devote to the "therapy".

Honestly, my first book was a load of crap. IF I ever go back and edit it into something readable, I'll do away with all my childishness put in thirteen years ago and just create plots that make sense.

I think you have to really decide here. Do you want to keep your story as a therapy, something you can read and feel better about yourself and your personal trauma? If so, keep writing it. Make it as outrageous as you want to, and keep it for yourself, to read whenever you're feeling low.

Or, do you want other people to not only read it, but enjoy it? Because then you're probably better served by scrapping large parts of the problem material, and instead focusing on a solid plot, interesting, deep characters readers will want to get to know, and a clean, lean prose that will push the pace and leave readers excited for more.

I know that's a hard pill to swallow, but they say it takes a million words to get good and know what you're doing as a writer. I firmly believe that. I've met some folks here who just have a serious natural talent, but most of us just need to work hard.

When you're learning, building up those million words, there will be manuscripts that never make the final cut to be edited or shown to even a crit partner. You just know they suck. And you know what? They're allowed to.

If you aren't in a hurry to get published, finish this work as part of your practice and let it not be an awesome story, but make you feel good. Personally, I've outgrown the writing I did in my first novel, and am happy to edit out those items, but everyone has to come to that place on their own. If it's still beneficial for you to include these emotionally charged moments, then keep them for your personal reasons. Just understand no reader will probably have the same reaction. They'll be more drawn to plot and pacing than a counseling session.

 

[srebak]

Another issue that i seem to be suffering with my ideas at the moment is that i'm starting to support the negative emotions and actions that i want the MCs to display.

For example; i want the MC of both fan fiction ideas to seek revenge for the way they were mistreated. In the fan-made Season two idea, that involved acting nasty towards the offenders at the very least, disconnecting himself from the world entirely at neutral and trying to cause the offenders endless pain and/or leaving them for dead at the very worst. In the fan-made sequel series idea, my options have been; becoming completely cold-hearted and devoid of emotions, agreeing to the antagonist's proposal to join him and becoming a murderous soldier as a result and/or just believing that the "sweet embrace" of Death would be the only way to end his misery.

In any other story, there would be at least one good reason for the MC not to take any of the following courses of action. But i can't think any that make sense to me. For one thing, i'm not sure that i believe in that whole "If you do this, you're just like them" trope, it's definitely not something that would pacify me; If someone hurt me, the only way i'd ever be satisfied is if i evened the score. Those people started this, not me. Another thing to consider is, why not join the bad guys? They usually offer a lot of good things in exchange for your aid, more than the good guys do, and when you think about it: you tried the good guy thing and it yielded nothing, why continue to do something that's clearly not making you happy anymore?

As far as the "suicide attempt for the MC" Idea goes, i initially imagined that the circumstances would be that the MC would finally be overtaken by life's constant struggles. Wanting the pain and misery to end, he believes that death is the only way out. Naturally, someone would try to stop him, but the fact of the matter is, i'm not seeing much of a reason for the MC to listen. If it's the old "We need you for this" excuse, it would only prove that he's nothing more than a tool/weapon to the other characters, which is not a good enough reason to stay alive, not for him. Even the old "See it through to the end" excuse holds little weight, to be honest: life has clearly made this character unhappy, wanting him to continue living just on the hope that things will get better is kind of a horrible thing to do. Plus, if it's the teacher or the parents who try to talk the MC out of this move, there's always the chance that they just don't want to feel like they failed him (for their sake, not his).


Any thoughts?

 

[Jabrosky]

I can relate to the desire to use writing as a means of venting about individuals or issues that have upset me. In the end I usually decide it's not worth it. I'd rather tell timeless stories that are more than just veiled rants about whatever personal drama or current issue is bothering me at the moment.

 

[Rinzei]

I've avoided using full-on emotional venting in my novels. Generally, what I've done is taken something that has been bothering me or an emotional state of some sort and shared it with a character - however, that is not to say that character will deal with it the same way or will have the same outcome as I have. It's used more as a starting point. It helps convey it well because I genuinely felt those things, but it still keeps my disconnected as the character is not me, really.

For example:
1) Anneliese - at the time, I was stressed by some issues with my student loans (OH THE MONEYS), so Anneliese shared this. It really helped convey how stressed and emotional and wrecked it made her because I had lived it. I've also found myself a Jack of All Trades, Master of None - and so Anneliese was as well. But after that, the similarities ended. For one thing, I got my loan sorted out and found a job that liked my diversity - Anneliese ran away from her debts and finds her expertise in something not-so-favourable in her setting. There are many decisions Anneliese makes that I do not personally agree with, but I can still relate because we shared common worries.

2) Astra - This character and story was actually born from my frustration with my lack of creativity lately, so Astra shares this. But where Astra's creativity was taken and she is fully aware of this (it was even voluntary), mine was not so (you might have guessed that ). The real connection is how we felt during this time - I used a lot of my own emotion for that part. But after that? Not much shared between us. As I said, Astra's loss was voluntary - she just finally felt the shock of her decision and had to deal with that before moving on for the greater good. I'm still kicking, screaming and clawing my way out of the black pit of writer's block oblivion.

I have on occasion just written a full-on rant through a character, but this has generally just been a page or so of rough emotion - the literary equivalent of having a good hard sob (or a scream with all your might, if you prefer) and then moving on.


I feel that using some of your emotion and feelings is good - it helps make your character relatable because it feels real. But you don't want to base too much of them on yourself or you risk becoming too attached to them to do anything and/or being one-dimensional Mary Sue's.

 

[srebak]

I can understand what some of you are saying, honestly, i do. But the fact of the matter is, whenever i imagine the Main Characters in my fanfiction stories acting in ways that would raise the story's tension (ways that i would behave in if in similar circumstances), i fail to see the reasons why they would stop and continue to be heroes.

Example: If the main character gets treated badly, i fail to see a good reason why he/she should just shrug it off and even go as far as to help the very person who mocked them.

 

[Jabrosky]

I can understand what some of you are saying, honestly, i do. But the fact of the matter is, whenever i imagine the Main Characters in my fanfiction stories acting in ways that would raise the story's tension (ways that i would behave in if in similar circumstances), i fail to see the reasons why they would stop and continue to be heroes.

Example: If the main character gets treated badly, i fail to see a good reason why he/she should just shrug it off and even go as far as to help the very person who mocked them.

Maybe that main character grew up with a strong "turn the other cheek" moral code or otherwise forgave whomever mistreated them?

I notice you talk a lot about writing fan fiction, as if you're working within an established franchise. It could be you're drawn to franchises or characters within them that have a negative attitude. Perhaps you'll have an easier time telling stories about nobler characters if you create your own instead of working with pre-established ones.

Alternatively, it could be you fixate on an excessively negative and cynical image of humanity and don't notice its bright and altruistic side so much. May I ask how that came to be?

 

[srebak]

Maybe that main character grew up with a strong "turn the other cheek" moral code or otherwise forgave whomever mistreated them?

I notice you talk a lot about writing fan fiction, as if you're working within an established franchise. It could be you're drawn to franchises or characters within them that have a negative attitude. Perhaps you'll have an easier time telling stories about nobler characters if you create your own instead of working with pre-established ones.

Alternatively, it could be you fixate on an excessively negative and cynical image of humanity and don't notice its bright and altruistic side so much. May I ask how that came to be?

As i said before, i started writing these fanfiction stories because i want to give myself some closure to these two shows. And unfortunately, the funny thing about fanfiction is that you have to at least follow some of the things established in the actual continuity or else it's not really a fanfic for the show (I hope that made sense). That in mind, i have to take note of at least some of MCs' original personality traits and the past issue they've had, or else they might as well different characters.

 

[Penpilot]

I can understand what some of you are saying, honestly, i do. But the fact of the matter is, whenever i imagine the Main Characters in my fanfiction stories acting in ways that would raise the story's tension (ways that i would behave in if in similar circumstances), i fail to see the reasons why they would stop and continue to be heroes.

Example: If the main character gets treated badly, i fail to see a good reason why he/she should just shrug it off and even go as far as to help the very person who mocked them.

You have to differentiate yourself and your feelings from those of the character. The character isn't necessarily you. They are filter through which you as the author flow. You personally may behave in one way given similar circumstance but in order for a character to do something different they must have something that makes them that way. Those things are character traits and their personal history. You as the author must understand the essence of a character and what makes them tick. Without that understanding the character just becomes a surrogate for yourself.

For example, why would a character help someone who mocked them? Maybe they learn that this person has a tragic past and that they deserve pity. Or maybe, as Jabrovsky said, your character was brought up to do what's right to help the helpless no matter who they are. Think Superman. Or just maybe your character has a soft heart and can't stand to see another person suffer no matter who it is. Maybe their experiences being mocked has made them more compassionate and and selfless.

There are countless reasons you can give to motivate a character to do something. You just have to find them and not let your personal views override the character's views.

 

[Ayaka Di'rutia]

Another issue that i seem to be suffering with my ideas at the moment is that i'm starting to support the negative emotions and actions that i want the MCs to display.
...
In any other story, there would be at least one good reason for the MC not to take any of the following courses of action. But i can't think any that make sense to me. For one thing, i'm not sure that i believe in that whole "If you do this, you're just like them" trope, it's definitely not something that would pacify me; If someone hurt me, the only way i'd ever be satisfied is if i evened the score. Those people started this, not me. Another thing to consider is, why not join the bad guys? They usually offer a lot of good things in exchange for your aid, more than the good guys do, and when you think about it: you tried the good guy thing and it yielded nothing, why continue to do something that's clearly not making you happy anymore?

You have to be very careful when putting your personality, feelings, etc. into a character. If you do it to the max, these characters can become extreme characters, what some writers call Mary Sues or Gary Sues, and for me, those are characters I cannot relate to and that I despise. This seems to be a common problem in fan-fiction and/or among new writers especially.

As for joining with the bad guys after having something bad happen to an MC, the only reason I can see the character doing that so easily is that they haven't had a lot of moral guidance in their life. I don't know what show you're doing the fan-fiction off of, or if it's an original character of your own, so I can't suggest that you change this or not. However, I would imagine that a normal character would have struggles of good vs. evil when it came to a situation where they were hurt really bad. Are they going to seek revenge? Or should they seek healing? Even if they haven't had religion or some established moral code, many people struggle with such decisions and don't nilly-willy up and join the bad guys unless they aren't thinking very straight and/or are brainwashed.

And as far as I'm concerned with bad guys, if an MC joins them, the MC is going to lose out in the end, because they won't be rewarded with anything of true value in the end, if they're not hurt or killed by the bad guys. Doing good, establishing good relationships, and learning to heal and love are far better than power and money and greed, IMO, and this goes for stories as well.