How comfortable are you writing ahem, 'romance' ?

[The Dark One]

Hmmm, some were definitely written by male authors, but I’m not sure, maybe slightly more were written by women authors.

Mostly men. It's just that the ones written by women are the most famous... probably for the immaterial reason that they were of higher quality.

 

[Finchbearer]

Sexless romance?

What on Earth is that?

Jokes aside, maybe it is something like wanting a deep and meaningful connection with someone without the expectation of satisfying any baser urges?

 

[CupofJoe]

The death of Bond being a sharp-dressed ladies' man is probably part of the reason the franchise is dying a slow death. Half the women he sleeps were are out to kill him, and that was part of the fun. There was the "Oh James" running gag, which comes off a little odd these days if you aren't in on the joke, but even as a kid, I found those moments eye-rolling funny. It was all part of the package, the formula, a male version of the Romance novel that attracted women as well because Sean Connery and the boys were appealing.

No matter what pop culture tries to teach us, sexy sells. Brooding, sulking, wussyboys aren't what women want once you break down psych studies. It's a case of saying one thing and behaving another. Part of H'wood's fizzle right now is the lack of "sexy."

The Daniel Craig Bonds have been some of the most profitable films in the franchise.
Now... where the producers go next will be interesting. I've not even heard rumours of rumours of who might be the next Bond [but maybe not 007].

 

[pmmg]

I dont think the world is confused that sex and romance are different. They do however pair up well.

Sometimes, one on its own is just whats needed, and sometimes both together.

I think the world is just with both of them.

 

[Fyri]

I do have one question though, what is demi-romantic??

Me!!

So, to break it down, you have X-romantic, X-sexual, right? Someone can be, say, bi-romantic, heterosexual and that would mean that they can have romantic feelings for male and female people, but are only sexually aroused by the opposite sex to themselves.

Then you have aromantic and asexual, lacking of either romance or sexual attraction. Someone can be, say homoromantic, asexual: They can be romantically into people of the same sex, but do not have really have any sexual desires for anyone. Or, you can be aromantic, asexual: You don't experience or want romance and you also have no desire for sex. Everyone is platonic and will never be a different kind of love (Any kind of love can be as strong as the others!).

Keep in mind, asexuality is a spectrum! Some asexual people enjoy sex, but have zero urges for it. Others may be entirely repulsed by even the idea of sex.

So, now you get to demisexual on the asexual spectrum. Demisexual means you can be sexually attracted or aroused by someone, but only after you've built up a strong romantic bond first. You have to care and know the person before you want sex.

Finally, we reach demiromantic! You can feel and want romance, but you don't have desire or urges for it until you know the person well enough. I always used to describe it as "We need to be good friends first." I have to build up interest and trust before I can even begin to feel romantic.

Now, you may be thinking "That sounds normal. Everyone does that." But many people date strangers and are on romantic dates very quickly. Demiromantic/demisexual, therefore, might best be described as a slow burn relationship. Someone who can only experience a slow burn kind of love.

Hope that helped and wasn't overexplaining!

 

[Finchbearer]

Thanks for explaining

There is probably a whole entire sub genre in romantasy for ‘slow burn’ romance, but certainly not all of them could be definitively described as LGBTQIA+ in terms of having characters who are without a doubt demi-romantic.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

Craig started hot but has been fizzling, and the franchise will continue in that direction without correction. Profits really aren't comparable from 60's-70's to more recent releases, and to be blunt, they don't like to talk profits, they like to talk "box office" which is different. Bond still survives as a franchise, but Skyfall compared to other newer flicks? Drip drip drip. Skyfall was fun, then they just headed downhill.

Fortunately, Disney and Kennedy haven't got their hands on this one, heh heh.

The Daniel Craig Bonds have been some of the most profitable films in the franchise.
Now... where the producers go next will be interesting. I've not even heard rumours of rumours of who might be the next Bond [but maybe not 007].

 

[CupofJoe]

Fortunately, Disney and Kennedy haven't got their hands on this one, heh heh.

Amen to that!

 

[pmmg]

I have low expectations for the future of Bond. But...I thought it was completely dead before Craig showed up. If Disney gets them, they are dead.

 

[Finchbearer]

I have low expectations for the future of Bond. But...I thought it was completely dead before Craig showed up. If Disney gets them, they are dead.

My money is on Idris Elba. ‘He can do anything’

 

[pmmg]

I've heard his name, and he probably has a better chance then most... And I will say, I do think the worm has turned on Disney's experiment, but...My expectation still remain low. Which should be good for him. He can easily exceed them

 

[The Dark One]

Craig started hot but has been fizzling, and the franchise will continue in that direction without correction. Profits really aren't comparable from 60's-70's to more recent releases, and to be blunt, they don't like to talk profits, they like to talk "box office" which is different. Bond still survives as a franchise, but Skyfall compared to other newer flicks? Drip drip drip. Skyfall was fun, then they just headed downhill.

Fortunately, Disney and Kennedy haven't got their hands on this one, heh heh.

Loved Skyfall - probably my favourite Bond ever. Spectre was decent but No Time to Die was dreadful - not least that they had no idea what to do with Rami Malek.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

 

[Mad Swede]

Or, phrased another way and without too much detail...

Well, she walked up to me
And she asked me if I wanted to dance
She looked kinda nice
And so I said I might take a chance

When we danced, she held me tight
And when I walked her home that night
All the stars were shining bright
And then she kissed me

Each time I saw her I couldn't wait to see her again
I wanted to let her know that she was more than a friend
I didn't know just what to do, so I whispered, "I love you"
She said that she loved me too, and then she kissed me

She kissed me in a way that I'd never been kissed before
She kissed me in a way that I wanna be kissed forevermore

I knew that she was mine, so I gave her all the loving I had
And one day, she took me home to meet her ma and her dad
Then I asked her to be my bride and always be right by my side
Felt so happy, she almost cried, and then she kissed me

 

[pmmg]

Mine kind of went:

She walked up to me, and I awkwardly waved, then she waved back, and went past me to her boy friend.

 

[ReJaymes]

A good general rule of thumb for all writing is if your story works without it, you don't need to include it. A quick google search and I found several sites with lists as to when to include 'romance' scenes. 'Romance' scenes are still scenes and if they don't add to your plot or characters, you can consider cutting it. Of course, some stories only allude to the act and not go into details (e.g. stopping with a door shutting, then starting with the morning after). Each story is different. Don't feel pressured to include it.

 

[ShadeZ]

I think you have to keep in mind your audience and why you want to write the story.

I am scouring the world for good YA fantasy stories that don't have romance as a major subplot. I'm asexual so I'm tired of it being everywhere. However, I wrote my WIP in high school before I knew that people didn't have to fall in love to make a good story. So, I wrote a romance into my series and, having zero experience with it, had to figure out how to write a "first kiss" scene. XD I did it because I was trying to "be a writer" of a "book" and was led to believe "Oh, this isn't a real story unless there is romance for MC. Romance scenes are clearly a requirement for stories to be finished. I have to make her love and kiss someone." XD Then I went to college and learned about the world. XD

I do have some heterosexual adults that fall in love and have sex, though I just vaguely hint to it.

In the end, I think it just comes down to what Finchbearer said. There are no obligations. Write what feels natural to you, your characters, and your story. Does such a scene help further the plot or develop a character in a necessary way? If you feel uncomfortable or unnatural writing it, your readers will probably feel that too.

I don't read a lot of adult fiction, but I wonder if there's a similar feel there? It's not a real story if there isn't romance and sex somewhere? Bleh.


Also! This is how I feel about swearing and curse words in my books! Even though I do have characters that probably would swear under any other author, I don't swear so it feels icky, unnatural, and forced when I let them do it in my writing. Instead, I just say "He swore/cursed" or something if it is really necessary. Probably something to do with my voice that makes it feel wrong otherwise.

If it doesn't feel like it belongs, it probably doesn't!

I find I tend to land in a similar boat as a grey ace myself. Usually my main characters or at least one of them is ace or grey ace. One of the stories I'm working on now the most "graphic" one could say it gets so far is the main character has a dream of his wife who died in a battle and in the dream while talking he is lying in his wife's lap and watching stars as this was an activity they did while she was alive. If the idea is to communicate LOVE I find that is pretty easy to do in the form of emotions and romance and that general wholesome feel.

Being you are writing a fox-based shapeshift though, the intention is probably more devilish/impish and a lot more LUST rather than LOVE. In which case there would probably be a lot of pranks and such out of the kitsune.

 

[CloakCIX]

Hello

 

[pmmg]

Howdy CloakCix.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

I agree with this. The appeal of James Bond was that he was pretty much all male fantasies dialed to 11. Walk into a room and have all women fall for you. Get all the cool gadgets and a great looking car (with even more gadgets). Win any casino game you look at. Be an amazing spie and great at shooting. And look sharp while doing so. Of course it's completely unrealistic. But that was exactly the whole point of it.

It's not for everyone, but nothing is. But it was very identifiable. James Bond was a very distinct character. Now, he's just another spy hero, who can just as easily be replaced by Jason Bourne or John Wick or any of another dozen spies.

I think what made James Bond James Bond in the earlier films/books (most of the stuff before danny craigslist took over though to his credit, his first appearance as bond was amazing.) is that the man didn't just have all the 'fantasy' traits.

James Bond, the character, was IN on the joke, and sometimes not only did he roll with it, he leaned into it. Sometimes I swear he gave the audience a cheeky knowing grin. (maybe it was my imagination but I remember a couple of scenes of him being like 'yeah I know' at the camera I absolutely remember Roger having a few moments like that) Somewhere along the lines of the films the character lost that side of him. And he started seeming like every other cheesy spy character.

I think that's why I resonated with the character Bayonetta (the series namesake of a game series holding the same name) as well. Not only does she play into her role, she's in on the joke, and hell, she even teases the audience a bit from time to time. The other characters are sort of aware, but nowhere near as aware as she is.

Same way that no treasure hunting character with no interest in the money aspect will ever replace Indy. The man seemed in on the gags and quite often played into them. Partially due to Fords amazing acting skills, but also the character himself seemed self aware. You could write a hundred Indiana-likes (Nathan drake from the video game series comes to mind) but you will never quite capture the same magic that he did.