comma question

[Filk]

Hello! I have a simple grammar question.

Does a spoken phrase count as an independent clause? Should there be a comma after muttered in the following:

"I'm quite thankful," Filk muttered and he curled up by the fire.

I'm editing and have encountered this a few times. Would it be best to get rid of "he?" Thanks in advance!

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

"I'm quite thankful," Filk muttered and he curled up by the fire.

I suggest writing the sentence like this:

"I'm quite thankful," Filk muttered, curling up by the fire.

Additionally, to avoid structure repetition, you can change small bits like this:

"I'm quite thankful," Filk muttered as he curled up by the fire.

 

[BWFoster78]

"I'm quite thankful," Filk muttered and he curled up by the fire.

"Filk muttered" is an independent clause. In old school grammar, the correct way to punctuate what you wrote would be:

Filk muttered, and he curled up by the fire.

Nowadays, most stylists say that you can drop the comma if both clauses are short. Personally, I like keeping the comma, but I think you have some leeway.

I do think you're better off dropping the "he," though. It adds nothing to your sentence. Contrary to T. Allen's advice, I don't think you should go with "curling." I tend to hate that structure unless it's absolutely necessary.

I'd go with: Filk muttered and curled up by the fire.

Hope this helps!

Brian

 

[Devor]

To join in on the "let's see who can change a word the best" game, I would go with:

"I'm quite thankful," Filk muttered before he curled up by the fire.

 

[Asterisk]

Popping in for a moment here....

"I'm quite thankful," Filk muttered, curling up by the fire.

That one jumped out as my favorite.

 

[yachtcaptcolby]

I think I'd make that two sentences. I find a lot of cases where the comma is questionable really ought to just be two sentences.

"I'm quite thankful," Fik muttered. Then he curled up by the fire.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

I think I'd make that two sentences. I find a lot of cases where the comma is questionable really ought to just be two sentences.

"I'm quite thankful," Fik muttered. Then he curled up by the fire.

I am a fan of breaking sentences down when grammar is in question. However, I wouldn't recommend using "Then" to start the next sentence (or any word like "then"). Writing like that can often be boring to the reader because it reads like a list of movements.

If I were going to break the sentence down, I'd probably elaborate on the action. Something like this:

"I'm quite thankful," Filk muttered. He slid closer to the fire, curling up near its edge.

 

[Filk]

Thanks for your help guys! BWFoster - thanks for the clarification. I figured that was the case, but wanted to be sure.