The Grey Sage
Troubadour
I need feedback on a poem I wrote. Please be honest, leave nothing out.
This is definetly not the best poem I've ever written, but I wrote it to give to someone... so...
Dried Up
Our lives, our pride, our souls dry up
we watch our selves shrink away
we do nothing but sadly cry
wiping up the tears, but we only grow drier
the driest lie alone till death
the are tethered to the plain of sorrow
the knot of chains round their necks
is the same chain dragging us
pulling, slowly, pulling
down to where we dry up
This is definetly not the best poem I've ever written, but I wrote it to give to someone... so...
Dried Up
Our lives, our pride, our souls dry up
we watch our selves shrink away
we do nothing but sadly cry
wiping up the tears, but we only grow drier
the driest lie alone till death
the are tethered to the plain of sorrow
the knot of chains round their necks
is the same chain dragging us
pulling, slowly, pulling
down to where we dry up