Jabrosky
Banned
So this young man who watches me on DeviantArt asked me to review his story's first chapter. I've given it a gander and I have to say I don't care for it at all. It has myriad spelling and grammar errors, too much opening exposition from the omniscient narrator, a very high tell-to-show ratio, and not enough spaces between lines of dialogue. There is so much I don't like about it that a detailed critique of the whole piece would be an exhausting undertaking for me.
I suppose I could just briefly summarize the major problems I perceive with the chapter, but the problem is that this kid has a lot to learn about writing. Listing all the skills he has to develop over a long period of time might discourage him, especially as he has severe depressive and self-loathing tendencies. On the other hand I don't have the heart to lie to him just to make him feel good.
How would you handle an inexperienced young writer such as this?
I suppose I could just briefly summarize the major problems I perceive with the chapter, but the problem is that this kid has a lot to learn about writing. Listing all the skills he has to develop over a long period of time might discourage him, especially as he has severe depressive and self-loathing tendencies. On the other hand I don't have the heart to lie to him just to make him feel good.
How would you handle an inexperienced young writer such as this?