Do you have jokes/silly moments that don't make it into the final cut?

[Naruzeldamaster]

I have a few (quite a few) that made me chuckle, for a lot of my stories.
Buuuuuut, thinking about them, most of them probably won't make it to the rough draft even.

Some of the jokes are more on the silly side, others...not so much which is why I drop them to begin with.

To be clear I'm talking explicitly 'jokes/funnies' that made you laugh that probably wouldn't work for the story. Or take it a bit too far against your principals so you drop them.

 

[Malik]

In the final edits, I can see the bits that I wrote to intentionally be funny. They're never as funny as the unintentionally funny bits that sneak their way in. I'm a firm believer that there are some lines you write, and some you just write down. The former feel forced by comparison to the latter, and become easy to recognize the more familiar I become with the tone toward the final pass.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

In the final edits, I can see the bits that I wrote to intentionally be funny. They're never as funny as the unintentionally funny bits that sneak their way in. I'm a firm believer that there are some lines you write, and some you just write down. The former feel forced by comparison to the latter, and become easy to recognize the more familiar I become with the tone toward the final pass.

yeah I keep the unintentionally funny bits. (like how a couple of my female characters react to 'romance' )
Most of the time the ones that are 'forcibly' funny don't even make it to the rough draft.
I have to force myself to remove the ones that would only make me personally laugh though.
My sense of humor is very dry/silly and it doesn't click with folks right away.

 

[pmmg]

I dont write jokes, and in fact, there is one scene that is 'funny' that I wish I could take out. It has more of an old time RPG characterization sensibility to it, than the real way a mature man would approach things.

I think my story is funny in its own way, but not a way would present a clown or a joke. Its just that the circumstances are so dire and hopeless, there is a type of dread realization that goes on, and that they are all trapped in this horrid place. Kind of a damned if they do, and damned if they don't dynamic. And it keeps just getting worse. Kind of in the way one might say, how could this get any worse, and then the sky opens up and the rain pours down.

But, sorry, very few funny bits from me. I am just not wired for it.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

I dont write jokes, and in fact, there is one scene that is 'funny' that I wish I could take out. It has more of an old time RPG characterization sensibility to it, than the real way a mature man would approach things.

I think my story is funny in its own way, but not a way would present a clown or a joke. Its just that the circumstances are so dire and hopeless, there is a type of dread realization that goes on, and that they are all trapped in this horrid place. Kind of a damned if they do, and damned if they don't dynamic. And it keep just getting worse. Kind of in the way one might say, how could this get any worse, and then the sky opens up and the rain pours down.

But, sorry, very few funny bits from me. I am just not wired for it.

I wholeheartedly approve of this, gotta stick to your principals and natural Kanter (I believe that's the word) after all.
I wouldn't say I'm particularly 'wired' for it either, again, very dry/silly sense of humor.
But sometimes my characters do 'funny' things that make me smile when I let them 'take the reigns' and I keep it.
If I wind up not liking it during editing I can always scrap it. But, rough draft gonna rough draft ya know?
The ones that aren't as funny (even to me) after I write them down, yeah I cut those entirely.

 

[pmmg]

Yeah...I would say, it amuses me that the characters are stuck in a frying pan no matter what they do, but...would a reader notice that? I dont know..not one trying to read the whole thing in an evening, I am sure.

I do have a funny bit in the second book, which might be the only intentionally funny bit in the whole tale. I think it plays. But its a diversion from the tone of the book.

 

[Malik]

Being retired military, I have a gallows humor that permeates my work, including a lot of unintentionally slapstick violence. Because, seriously: violence can be goddamned hilarious. I've had readers tell me that my debut, DRAGON'S TRAIL, reads like Deadpool d*ckpunching his way across Westeros, and I'm sure this is part of it. And again, the funniest parts are lines and scenes that I didn't intend to be funny.

In DRAGON'S TRAIL, the heir presumptive, Edwin, has had it with being cut out of spy shenanigans; something I saw a lot in my career--an officer who really wants to be doing Cool Guy Stuff and demands that he get to play, too. Only he's such a feckless waste of skin that all he'd do is mess things up. (ISTG in retrospect, it feels like half my job was trying to keep officers from touching anything.)

After the MC, Jarrod, has wiped the floor with a spy in Edwin's ranks:

"You will tell me," seethed Edwin, "what your mission is, here."
"Sure," said Jarrod, brightening. "You wanna discuss it closer to the window?"

And Jarrod's boss, when Edwin finally draws on him:

"Jarrod. Do not kill the heir presumptive."
"Aw, can I just hurt him a little bit?"
"Works for me."

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Being retired military, I have a gallows humor that permeates my work, including a lot of unintentionally slapstick violence. Because, seriously: violence can be goddamned hilarious. I've had readers tell me that my debut, DRAGON'S TRAIL, reads like Deadpool d*ckpunching his way across Westeros, and I'm sure this is part of it. And again, the funniest parts are lines and scenes that I didn't intend to be funny.

In DRAGON'S TRAIL, the heir presumptive, Edwin, has had it with being cut out of spy shenanigans; something I saw a lot in my career--an officer who really wants to be doing Cool Guy Stuff and demands that he get to play, too. Only he's such a feckless waste of skin that all he'd do is mess things up. (ISTG in retrospect, it feels like half my job was trying to keep officers from touching anything.)

After the MC, Jarrod, has wiped the floor with a spy in Edwin's ranks:

"You will tell me," seethed Edwin, "what your mission is, here."
"Sure," said Jarrod, brightening. "You wanna discuss it closer to the window?"

And Jarrod's boss, when Edwin finally draws on him:

"Jarrod. Do not kill the heir presumptive."
"Aw, can I just hurt him a little bit?"
"Works for me."

That's great, and I kind of love it lol

I think one of the jokes that will probably not make it in to my RWBY story is one me and my buddy joke about.
It makes us chuckle, because we both have the same silly sense of humor. The fandom also frequently jokes about it.
I'm sorry but no, putting a 'vibrate' function on a robotic hand (for obvious reasons) is not funny lol

 

[Malik]

And from STONELANDS--again, this one wrote itself, based entirely off deskside briefings I've given:

(Stannard: Navy SEAL Master Chief; Bob: PhD; Medved: Senior Analyst for the unit, just trying to get through this.)

Every Senior Intelligence Analyst keeps liquor in their desk.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

And from STONELANDS--again, this one wrote itself, based entirely off deskside briefings I've given:

(Stannard: Navy SEAL Master Chief; Bob: PhD; Medved: Senior Analyst for the unit, just trying to get through this.)

Every Senior Intelligence Analyst keeps liquor in their desk.

Though not as serious a situation, I have a similar moment.

Tobi: If we encounter a creature known as SA - X, our only option is to run.
Ruby: Don't you have a personal satellite laser nuke?
Tobi: That can only be used once a year.
Yang: Aren't YOU basically a satellite laser nuke?
Tobi: In my prime I could match that power, but I'd also be in a coma for a year afterward.
Ivy: Then use your manly swooning powers of mysteriousness to Woo it.
Tobi: 1: I don't swing with eldritch horrors. 2: You first. 3: I have a feeling it's not sentient enough to have those thoughts anyway.

 

[Mad Swede]

And from STONELANDS--again, this one wrote itself, based entirely off deskside briefings I've given:

(Stannard: Navy SEAL Master Chief; Bob: PhD; Medved: Senior Analyst for the unit, just trying to get through this.)

Every Senior Intelligence Analyst keeps liquor in their desk.

Writing this as a former brigade commander, you have no idea what it's like to be on the receiving end of a briefing like this. You're standing there thinking "what the f***?" and wondering (a) how you and the brigade are going to deal with this and (b) what the hell you tell divisional HQ.

 

[Malik]

Writing this as a former brigade commander, you have no idea what it's like to be on the receiving end of a briefing like this. You're standing there thinking "what the f***?" and wondering (a) how you and the brigade are going to deal with this and (b) what the hell you tell divisional HQ.

Especially when Higher asks why an E9 sent up an RFI about whether or not the Chinese control the sun.

 

[Mad Swede]

Especially when Higher asks why an E9 sent up an RFI about whether or not the Chinese control the sun.

Normally I'd expect that to be in the mission brief or maybe the latest intsum, but there's always something they don't tell you...

 

[Malik]

Normally I'd expect that to be in the mission brief or maybe the latest intsum, but there's always something they don't tell you...

In this case, the SIA is trying to bring two scientists up to speed deskside on what the military knows about the portal, and the door-kicker about to lead the Team is looking over their shoulders, hopelessly lost.

The SIA in Stonelands is a self-insertion; I've had that gig. He's a minor character, but the one who best understands the whole operation.

 

[pmmg]

Speaking as a former grunt, I dont care what you guys think up. If we have to go to the Sun to shoot some things up and reclaim a Dyson sphere, then I guess that is what we are going to do.

 

[Malik]

Speaking as a former grunt, I dont care what you guys think up. If we have to go to the Sun to shoot some things up and reclaim a Dyson sphere, then I guess that is what we are going to do.

2/3 Shop like:

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Speaking as a former grunt, I dont care what you guys think up. If we have to go to the Sun to shoot some things up and reclaim a Dyson sphere, then I guess that is what we are going to do.

I just now realized the hidden pun when one character mentioned Dyson sphere and the other character said 'A vacuum' in response.

I have a few jokes in my pokemon story that likely won't make it in even for the draft.

Protagonist: [sees a Haterrene woman walking by] She's definitely using magic bounce... (Magic bounce is a hidden ability for the pokemon in question, but that's not the joke )

A Sylveon Woman Being a Mother: (This is a common depiction of Sylveon, and when it comes to 'art' usually not in a good way]

A Goodra Woman: Goodra is a dragon Comprised of as the name implies, goop/slime. It doesn't take much math to figure out the joke.

An Onix Man and a Cloyster Woman: This is a reference to an old pun, that's cannon but I don't know how to feel about it being applied to humanoids of these pokemon.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

For authoring a series that's been described as "dark" and "gritty," I write a lot of humor. My mom was a satirist and my dad was that combination of funny and charming that meant he never met a speeding ticket he couldn't talk his way out of. He and my mom both started out as first responders - they met over a DoA and the story is funny as hell, of course - and I was raised with gallows humor as mother's milk.

So, we ended up with me, an autist. Being funny when you actually really can't understand humor is... challenging. Took years and years, but I finally got it. From reading Stranger in a Strange Land, actually. The MMC has a lot of autistic presentation and also has a major side quest to understand humor. And so did I, finally. Comedy is simply Tragedy... with timing.

These are two of my favorite bits. In the Books of Binding, any communication not happening in the dominant language of the scene gets put into italics. Niki is a telepath who is deeply entwined with his best friend and fiancé, Jo. This scene is really story specific in a story that's not likely to see the light of day, so enjoy! lol

~~~
Niki looked positively delighted, and Jo could feel it in his mind. Her eyes widened in exasperation. No. No. No. Niki, we have to go home.

As usual, he ignored her and continued to speak with the stranger. "We are strangers, exploring - "

If you say "strange new worlds" I'm going to strangle you.

" - our options. We would love a native guide, if you are available."

Wolf is going to kill me.

Live a little.

She raised her hands in preparation to smack Niki's head, and then remembered their audience, so she ran them through her hair in frustration instead. "Fine, you win," she muttered. She looked at this Lucien and smiled. It was a crappy smile and she knew it. She didn't fake smile well. "Take us to your leader, I guess."

"Am I translating that?" Niki asked with a cheeky grin.

"Do it and I'm telling Wolf I dropped you in transit. I don't care."

~~~

This is just a silly bit that may or may not find a home in a book. The dynamic with these two just sends me. Etienne, faerie knight and Queens' Son, is a world-class shit disturber.
The formatting of this is raw choreography. Large chunks of our books looks like this in the outlining phase.

~~~
Etienne is looking out the kitchen sliding glass door into the gardens, drinking his coffee. Alerich joins him with his tea. "Anything interesting?"
Etienne: Just saw some idiot bird fly into the garden wall. Male. Don't see females dumb enough to stun themselves looking at shit.
Alerich: *quirks a brow and looks more closely at the garden wall* Makes you wonder what he was looking at. *sips his tea*
Etienne: Probably a titmouse or something.
Etienne: *grins behind his coffee mug while Alerich chokes on his hot tea*

 

[Mad Swede]

In this case, the SIA is trying to bring two scientists up to speed deskside on what the military knows about the portal, and the door-kicker about to lead the Team is looking over their shoulders, hopelessly lost.

The SIA in Stonelands is a self-insertion; I've had that gig. He's a minor character, but the one who best understands the whole operation.

The closest I ever got to a situation like this was in central Africa. We had to deal with a herd of forest elephants who were living in our operating area. Being briefed by a local expert as we stood by the road watching the herd cross ahead of us is something I'll never forget. It certainly made for some interesting planning, and the new section in the INTSUM "Elephants" made for some fascinating analyses - and some tough questions from the force commander.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

For authoring a series that's been described as "dark" and "gritty," I write a lot of humor. My mom was a satirist and my dad was that combination of funny and charming that meant he never met a speeding ticket he couldn't talk his way out of. He and my mom both started out as first responders - they met over a DoA and the story is funny as hell, of course - and I was raised with gallows humor as mother's milk.

So, we ended up with me, an autist. Being funny when you actually really can't understand humor is... challenging. Took years and years, but I finally got it. From reading Stranger in a Strange Land, actually. The MMC has a lot of autistic presentation and also has a major side quest to understand humor. And so did I, finally. Comedy is simply Tragedy... with timing.

These are two of my favorite bits. In the Books of Binding, any communication not happening in the dominant language of the scene gets put into italics. Niki is a telepath who is deeply entwined with his best friend and fiancé, Jo. This scene is really story specific in a story that's not likely to see the light of day, so enjoy! lol

~~~
Niki looked positively delighted, and Jo could feel it in his mind. Her eyes widened in exasperation. No. No. No. Niki, we have to go home.

As usual, he ignored her and continued to speak with the stranger. "We are strangers, exploring - "

If you say "strange new worlds" I'm going to strangle you.

" - our options. We would love a native guide, if you are available."

Wolf is going to kill me.

Live a little.

She raised her hands in preparation to smack Niki's head, and then remembered their audience, so she ran them through her hair in frustration instead. "Fine, you win," she muttered. She looked at this Lucien and smiled. It was a crappy smile and she knew it. She didn't fake smile well. "Take us to your leader, I guess."

"Am I translating that?" Niki asked with a cheeky grin.

"Do it and I'm telling Wolf I dropped you in transit. I don't care."

~~~

This is just a silly bit that may or may not find a home in a book. The dynamic with these two just sends me. Etienne, faerie knight and Queens' Son, is a world-class shit disturber.
The formatting of this is raw choreography. Large chunks of our books looks like this in the outlining phase.

~~~
Etienne is looking out the kitchen sliding glass door into the gardens, drinking his coffee. Alerich joins him with his tea. "Anything interesting?"
Etienne: Just saw some idiot bird fly into the garden wall. Male. Don't see females dumb enough to stun themselves looking at shit.
Alerich: *quirks a brow and looks more closely at the garden wall* Makes you wonder what he was looking at. *sips his tea*
Etienne: Probably a titmouse or something.
Etienne: *grins behind his coffee mug while Alerich chokes on his hot tea*

See this is the kind of chemistry (I think that's the right word?) my characters have.
They aren't always making jokes and gaffs like this though, in fact most of them, most of the time, are as serious as the plot demands.
But in the right moment, when the reader's guard is likely to be down, I slip in stuff like this.
Perhaps not intentionally (as it's often a result of letting the characters 'be themselves' ) but the times I do this stuff intentionally it feels forced.