Rosemary Tea
Auror
This. Many times this.I say all this...but also the most important thing for you to do is to keep writing. You're only going to get better by putting more words on the paper, and some of them will suck!
This. Many times this.I say all this...but also the most important thing for you to do is to keep writing. You're only going to get better by putting more words on the paper, and some of them will suck!
I'm now going to commit heresy and say that switching between points of view in a chapter, even between short paragraphs, can work.
Exactly, and that's why it doesn't work here. The OP's story, as it is, does not have any difference in character voices. If it did, then the rotating POV could work.This all made for short paragraphs with different character viewpoints, and it only worked because I'd got the character voices right. As my editor said, those voices have to be different and they have to be acting from their own interests and motivations. So as she put it, a prerequisite for writing like this is to have developed the characters (even the slightly less important ones) to the point where I as the author can give them a convincing voice of their own. And that character development needs to be done before you write too much.