• Welcome to the Fantasy Writing Forums. Register Now to join us!

Question about switching scenes

Mad Swede

Auror
I'm now going to commit heresy and say that switching between points of view in a chapter, even between short paragraphs, can work.

Character viewpoints was a debate I had with my editor when I was getting ready to publish what became my first novel. I'd originally written in first person, and my editor had said that she wanted to see more of the other characters. That meant a re-write into third person limited and the addition of a lot of text covering the other characters. My editor was quite right, this added hugely to the depth of the novel.

We then had a discussion about how to show points of view for the various characters. During the re-write I'd originally written separate chapters for each character, much like George Martin does, but had a sort of gut feeling that this was a bit clunky. My editor then pushed me to include different viewpoints within the same chapter as a way of getting the story to flow.

My editor was particularly ruthless when it came to the chapters where the main character and woman who becomes his love interest first meet. What she wanted was for the reader to see how the two characters see one another and how their perception of one another changes as they talk and get to know one another. That meant that I had to switch between points of view during conversations between the characters, supplemented by other characters views and thoughts on the developing relationship.

This all made for short paragraphs with different character viewpoints, and it only worked because I'd got the character voices right. As my editor said, those voices have to be different and they have to be acting from their own interests and motivations. So as she put it, a prerequisite for writing like this is to have developed the characters (even the slightly less important ones) to the point where I as the author can give them a convincing voice of their own. And that character development needs to be done before you write too much.
 

Steerpike

Felis amatus
Moderator
I'm now going to commit heresy and say that switching between points of view in a chapter, even between short paragraphs, can work.

Of course. I've seen author's switch POV within a paragraph. It's just a matter of whether it works for the particular narrative. You see such things among modernists, for example.
 
This all made for short paragraphs with different character viewpoints, and it only worked because I'd got the character voices right. As my editor said, those voices have to be different and they have to be acting from their own interests and motivations. So as she put it, a prerequisite for writing like this is to have developed the characters (even the slightly less important ones) to the point where I as the author can give them a convincing voice of their own. And that character development needs to be done before you write too much.
Exactly, and that's why it doesn't work here. The OP's story, as it is, does not have any difference in character voices. If it did, then the rotating POV could work.
 
Top