I need help on where to go from here.

[Littlewolf1234]

So, I've started my story, but I'm not sure if I should leave the backstory to have little flashbacks or back track to the backstory. Link to what I've got so far will be down below.

Prologue

IS IT DONE?

“Yes my lord,” there was extreme reverence in the second voice.

THEN WHAT IS OF THE TREE?

“It has begun to fuel the machines.”

THEN HAS THE WORLD LEARNED TO FEAR MY NAME?

“N-not yet my l-lord,” the reverence in his voice was instantly replaced by fear for what was due to him.

There was a tone of anger in the first voice.
THEN MAKE IT SO!

The owner of the second voice tried to run, when he was struck down by a lightning bolt.











1.

Watching from behind a bush, I heard the almighty crash of thunder and watched a streak of lightning crash down on the clumped little rows of houses I once called home. The sky lit up, blinding me, and snapped back into darkness. A glowing, roaring fire illuminated the little faction, and I could smell the burning wood. It left a citrussy taste in the air. I had seen this before. This wasn’t a natural disaster. This was magic. I could see the mages, dragon faction, casting the lightning down on the village. It had to be using a huge amount of energy, this I knew, as I was a practitioner of this magic. Clearly it was, but each time they dragged out an unconscious mage, another one replaced him. There were hundreds of them. I watched as my hometown was burnt to the ground. I would have tried to stop them, but I couldn't. I liked to think of it as a smart, logical thing to do. Better one mouse than none at all. But really, it was just cowardice. These were the people who had been like family to me, this was my home. And it was all gone.

 

[Littlewolf1234]

Ps. Please reply soon cause I'm at a bit of a block

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

Hi, and welcome to the forum. Obligatory newcomer spiel: you need 5 posts [commenting on other peoples' posts count] to access the whole forum. To get a wider audience, you could post your writing in the critique request or story showcase, or make a portfolio.

 

[pmmg]

Have little flashbacks and keep going. You need to get a lot more words under your belt.

 

[Prince of Spires]

Some random thoughts to help you continue:

Why is the village being burned?

Is the POV character special or is it a random thing?

Where would he flee too? And are they after him?

How well can he survive on his own in the wild?

For that matter, what is the setting like? Are we in pseudo-medieval England or somewhere else?

Small note which bugged me on reading the piece, but the lightning should arrive before the thunder, not after, since sounds travels slower than light. I found it very jarring at least.

 

[Littlewolf1234]

Some random thoughts to help you continue:

Why is the village being burned?

Is the POV character special or is it a random thing?

Where would he flee too? And are they after him?

How well can he survive on his own in the wild?

For that matter, what is the setting like? Are we in pseudo-medieval England or somewhere else?

Small note which bugged me on reading the piece, but the lightning should arrive before the thunder, not after, since sounds travels slower than light. I found it very jarring at least.

Thanks I'll keep all this in mind and try to fix the lightning part.

 

[Littlewolf1234]

Have little flashbacks and keep going. You need to get a lot more words under your belt.

Will do. Thanks!

 

[xena]

I think the flashback approach works better here. It keeps the story moving while slowly revealing the backstory.