• Welcome to the Fantasy Writing Forums. Register Now to join us!

1st question - Mild Romance

So...

I've got the fantasy world looking good, the plot sorted and the action scenes down to a standard that I'm happy with, but now on the eve of an epic battle I need a touching mildly romantic scene that would be acceptable for young adults.

It's the first book in my series of five and my lead male character needs to have an "attraction at first sight" moment with a relatively new character without being either overly cheesy or vulgar. I'm hoping that the scene will eventually end with an interupted kiss, but i have no idea about writing this sort of thing within a fantasy setting and I'm told that a good popular story always needs an underlying love story.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
 

JCFarnham

Auror
What is it that's gotten you worried exactly? Whether it's acceptable?

If that is the problem, of course its acceptable! In fact, an epic battle could even seem more poignient in the wake of a touching romantic scene, especially if throughout the battle we're worried that they may never see each other again.

I don't think you've got anything to worry about. Though if I got the wrong idea about what you wanted from this thread just say and I'll see about getting you a more suitable answer.
 
Thanks for the reply JCFarnham,

My main concerns really are:-

1, The sort of language that I can use in a book aimed at 13+ year olds and

2, I'm not too good at romance in real life (even though I'm married with children), which doesn't give me much experience to add to the feel of the story, especially as the characters in my book can't really get drunk and have their wicked way with each other.
 

JCFarnham

Auror
1) I've spoken to modern thirteen years olds. You can use all kinds of language and they won't bat an eyelid. Their parents however are a different matter altogether. The age range you're talking about probably shouldn't be reading anything too hardcore, but likewise they themselves don't want to be reading "baby books", they want to be challenged. Might I suggest reading some YA fiction specifically ones with romance subplot (though that's almost a given I find) and seeing what kind of language they use?

Some good advice I've heard is focus on the emotions in these situations rather than anything graphic.

In fact fiction for teenagers can be pretty damn emotionally complex all things considered, but to be honest I'd say you're right to be worrying about this. Anything to adult simply won't get passed the publishers let alone parents if by some miracle someone does let it through. The best thing you can do is to not sell young'uns short, they're probably smarter and more mature than you think (whether thats a good thing or not ;)).

2) You might have more experience than you think, if not ... well ... you could just fake it ;) who really knows romance anyway? We just muddle through life and some how stumble upon our soul mates and it just works. Many a philosopher has mused on the subject of love. Most of all though I wouldn't worry to much about knowing romance before hand, you can always learn by reading or simply by going on instinct as you write. We humans are good at going with the flow. Write what you think sounds right, right? You might surprise yourself.
 

The Din

Troubadour
My 'romantic' scenes are full of vulgarities so I don't know how much help I can be, but you can always try the old swimming in the lake scenario or walking off to be alone cliche. If its before a battle, you can't go wrong with helping with hero's armor, ie: sowing up his leathers. Maybe she could be sharpening his sword and cut herself, give him a token to keep him safe, etc.

If it's the first time meeting this girl and you have them kissing, it could be a little cheesy, or make her look a little skankish. (In many of the YA novels I've read, the pinnacle of sexual achievement is a boring old peck on the cheek.)
 

Queshire

Auror
First off, I disagree that any good story NEEDS a romantic underlay. Yes, romance tends to be something a lot of people can identify with, but the absolute worse thing you could do is just include a romance just out of some precieved NEED to include it. If it's natural that's great, but if it's artificially included then the readers are going to pick up on that.

That said, in my opinion, in love, particularly love at first sight, looks are secondary, actions are more important. Just what about your character does your main character fall in love with? Show them doing something that shows off those qualities, and confidence! Whatever you have her doing, have her do it confidently!

I don't really know about your character, so I can't give a good suggestion of just what that thing might be, but one example that comes to mind is that, well there's an army right? And in any medieval army there tends to be army followers, cooks, laundry washers, workers of the world's oldest proffession, etc, maybe some soldiers are picking on some of the army followers and she stands up for them?

Whatever the case, put her in some situation that shows just what her ideals are and show her standing up for those ideals. In our current world Men are supposed to desire females that can stand as their equals.
 
I think the mild romantic subplot is useful, even better is unrequited love, especially if it's mutual. maybe I'll use that one myself in my own story, with my own twists of course.
 
Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond and for giving me some great pointers.

I've realised this morning (thanks largely to the above posts) that experience probably isn't the most important thing that is neccesary in making this scene work, because after all I've never had a personal experience of fighting a giant three headed dragon before either.

I'm going to have a go at developing my characters and writing this part over the weekend and will hopefully have something that might be worthy of posting on here soon.
 

Steerpike

Felis amatus
Moderator
1) I've spoken to modern thirteen years olds. You can use all kinds of language and they won't bat an eyelid. Their parents however are a different matter altogether. The age range you're talking about probably shouldn't be reading anything too hardcore, but likewise they themselves don't want to be reading "baby books", they want to be challenged. Might I suggest reading some YA fiction specifically ones with romance subplot (though that's almost a given I find) and seeing what kind of language they use?

Yes, reading this sort of things will help. In doing so, you'll find that books on the YA/Teen shelves at the bookstore include sexual scenes, including depictions of oral sex (and the slang terms that go with it), and other items that are generally more graphic than you might expect given the target age group. As near as I can tell, nothing is off the table for YA/Teen fiction, though depending on how the subject matter is approached you could cross over into pornography, which I do not think would be acceptable to publishers.
 
Last edited:

Caged Maiden

Staff
Article Team
Just a note. I have never read YA fantasy, as I'm not sure it really existed that long ago... HAHA. Anyways, I remember reading Robert Asprin's MYTH series when I was about 12-14 and the silly romantic antics of the characters were completely age-appropriate for me. It was sort of silly blunders and grossly exaggerated flirtation, even a dirty joke or two, but nothing graphic or over-the-top.
I don't know that you have to be graphic to amuse and touch a reader, mature or young. That being said, I'm a pretty graphic, (though I hope tasteful) writer, and I'm sure if you write what you think is appropriate for your target audience, you can always edit it later if the feel isn't quite right.
 
Top