A Hook on Page 2 / 3 ?

[Laurence]

I'm currently writing my first chapter and am looking to start at the beginning of the story. No prologue or no framing device.

On occasions you've started this way, or in books you love, do you find the hook needs to happen in the very first paragraph? The way things have panned out plot-wise I'd really like to introduce my character and his surroundings for a page or two before he stumbles across what I think of as the hook (because it's thrilling).

Do you think you would even get that far if you were checking out a book in a store? If not, do you know of any books that've drawn you in from the first paragraph without some thrilling event?

My first paragraph as it stands reads as follows:

Last to exit the mine, Iren let his pry bar and hammer rest in the crook of the rock he had punished so cruelly for the last ten Bright Days. He tramped up the gravel slope of his gallery, bare soles unable to feel the grip of the earth. Dull fingers unable to shake off their clawed position, cold despite the sweat pooling at his naked lower back. His mind too was numb, so why not numb the rest of himself?

 

[Skybreaker Sin K'al]

1) I think the hook needs to be in the first page or so, yes. If you can manage to reveal a hook in the first paragraph and make sure the reader understands why the hook is important, I think you should.
2) Love your first paragraph. Last to exit the mine is a hook for me.

 

[Laurence]

1) I think the hook needs to be in the first page or so, yes. If you can manage to reveal a hook in the first paragraph and make sure the reader understands why the hook is important, I think you should.
2) Love your first paragraph. Last to exit the mine is a hook for me.

Thanks very much! Can you expand on your underlined point? Do you mean understand later on in the story?

 

[Skybreaker Sin K'al]

No, I mean don't give information which is currently irrelevant to them. So, for example, if I started my story with: "The Wahsdhjhj were killing the spahggy" or something like that (yes, keyboard mashing), the reader would be handed information they don't know the relevance of. For all we know, the Wahsdhjhj are lizards and the spahggy are ants or something. So, if we started with, I don't know, "The king is dead", then the reader instantly knows the ramifications of what's happening. Vies for power, plots in the court, that sort of thing.

 

[Svrtnsse]

I'm not sure I can answer your exact question, but I can still try and comment, and share some thoughts on the topic.

So...
At the moment, my thinking is that you'll need two different kinds of hooks:
1. One or more small hooks to keep the reader reading until you've had time to build up for The Big Hook.
2. The Big Hook can come a little bit later on, and it's where the reader starts to understand what kind of story they're in for.

Here's how I apply that in my current story:
The small hooks are relatively simple, and they're not all that important to the overall story. They're mostly about things that matter at the very moment. What they do is they give the reader a glimpse of the world and they introduce the main character. A few examples are:
- Keep moving to avoid getting noticed by robbers.
- Find something to do to not have to sit and wait in a public spot for 45 minutes.
- Purchase a book about something that holds some difficult associations.
- Maintain a friendly smile despite someone being a jerk.

The big hook doesn't show up until the third chapter, when the reader has gotten to know my protagonist and the important supporting character. Initially I'd put the big hook in the first chapter, but it felt a lot less meaningful that way and I added in a bit of padding to make it more efficient.
The big hook is essentially "you have to lose your next fight or we won't give you any retirement money" which is a pretty simple hook. It makes a lot more difference if the reader knows the character though, and it's only through the many small hooks that is achieved.
If I didn't have the small hooks, no one but my mom would have read all the way to the third chapter.

 

[Mythopoet]

I don't like the term "hook" at all. Maybe it's just my very visceral hatred of anything that smacks of manipulation. I prefer to think in terms of "in the beginning of my story, is there anything there that inspires curiosity? If I read this page, would I be curious about what is to come?"

I'm also not the sort of person who decides whether I'm going to read a book from the first sentence, or first paragraph or even the first page. So while your paragraph up there is fairly dull to me and doesn't make me curious at all, I would still read at least a page or two more. Though that first sentence comes across to me as a bit awkward. I'm much more likely to put down a book with awkward sentences which are tedious to read.

 

[Skybreaker Sin K'al]

Yeah, I think you could use the term "inspires curiosity", but "hook" is snappier. And no, you shouldn't decide if you're going to read a book in the first sentence, but editors probably will. I like your line of thought.

Also, what do you mean by "awkward sentences"? Do you mean grammar that is kinda jarring?

 

[FifthView]

There was an old thread or two about "lures" vs "hooks."

I don't remember all the ins and outs of that discussion, lol; but for me there's a distinction between a solid hook and those lures that lead up to the hook.

In other words, you can begin your tale with various lures that spark curiosity, a desire to read on, until you introduce the hook that finally seals the deal for the reader by making that reader want to finish the whole tale. There's nothing wrong with doing it like this. A lot of novels will do this. (A short story would be a different deal, since you need to hook earlier in a shorter form.)

So yes, you are perfectly fine introducing character, milieu, etc., before cementing the deal with a hook. Importantly, all that earlier stuff must still be engaging, spark curiosity and interest, and so forth. The lures inspire questions in the reader's mind about the sort of people and places the story will flesh out later. You can go too long doing this before finalizing things with your hook, but you do have some leeway. I'd say the hook probably needs to appear by the end of the first chapter. (Of course, this will depend on length of chapters. Mine tend to be long, so....)

 

[Laurence]

There was an old thread or two about "lures" vs "hooks."

I don't remember all the ins and outs of that discussion, lol; but for me there's a distinction between a solid hook and those lures that lead up to the hook.

In other words, you can begin your tale with various lures that spark curiosity, a desire to read on, until you introduce the hook that finally seals the deal for the reader by making that reader want to finish the whole tale. There's nothing wrong with doing it like this. A lot of novels will do this. (A short story would be a different deal, since you need to hook earlier in a shorter form.)

So yes, you are perfectly fine introducing character, milieu, etc., before cementing the deal with a hook. Importantly, all that earlier stuff must still be engaging, spark curiosity and interest, and so forth. The lures inspire questions in the reader's mind about the sort of people and places the story will flesh out later. You can go too long doing this before finalizing things with your hook, but you do have some leeway. I'd say the hook probably needs to appear by the end of the first chapter. (Of course, this will depend on length of chapters. Mine tend to be long, so....)

That’s exactly what I wanted to hear! Do you happen to recall any books that do this well?

 

[Heliotrope]

A hook, like others have said, is anything that "incites curiosity'. It dangles a question.... large or small. It is important not to get the "hook" confused with the "inciting event"...

The hook should happen in the first page. It does not have to be huge. It does not have to be the moon exploding, or a car chase. It can be as simple as a description of a strange plant that shouldn't be in the forest, like the first page of Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind

IT WAS AN ODD-LOOKING vine. Dusky variegated leaves hunkered against a stem that wound in a stranglehold around the smooth trunk of a balsam fir. Sap drooled down the wounded bark, and dry limbs slumped, making it look as if the tree were trying to voice a moan into the cool, damp morning air. Pods stuck out from the vine here and there along its length, almost seeming to look warily about for witnesses.

For the next four pages he explains why the vine is strange, and why the character, Richard, is so interested in it. It is not until page four or five that any action happens. But we don't need action before then, because the mystery of the vine is enough.

When I study the first few pages of every book on my shelf they all have some sort of "question" raised at the very beginning. Where is he going? What is he doing? Why is he doing that? Why is he wearing an uncomfortable suit? (The Ocean at the End of the Lane, Gaiman). What bit the child? (Jurassic Park, the book, not the film).

I suggest you have a look at your own bookshelf. Study the first lines of each book. Do they incite a question? Any question? Keep reading... does the writer present more questions? More mystery?

 

[Laurence]

Thanks, you’ve given me some hope for the direction I wanted to go in and some inspiration.

 

[Firefly]

The best advice I’ve ever received for openings is to start with a character doing something. It doesn’t have to be something big, but something with a little motion to it is much more compelling than passive setting description or navel gazing.
It’s also good to keep in mind that when an actuall reader or agent picks up your book, they’ll usually have already read the query or back cover copy, so they’re already coming in with expectations. I find the best openings are ones that begin exploring whatever it is the reader was interested in in the first place right off the bat, although that isn’t possible with every story.

One of my all-time favorite begginings is in Marissa Meyer’s book Cinder, which I thing nails all of this.

The first few paragraphs start off with they main character, Cinder, removing her old cybernetic foot. It builds character and tone, as well as immediately touching on the promise of the novel (sci-fi retelling of Cinderella with Cinderella as a cyborg)
Then there’s another couple of pages or so in which Cinder watches some children in the market square sing a nursery rhyme about death, and then one of their mothers’ pulls them away, wanting them to stay away from the cyborg. The subtle conflict pulls you in further, and the details of the market cement the setting
Nothing really big happens until page six, when the love interest shows up and asks her to fix an android. Again, the author builds subtle conflict into what could be a boring exchange by showing that he’s in disguise and shouldn’t really be here, and hinting that fixing the android is much more important than he’s saying. The dialogue is also brilliant, both funny and adorable.

The REAL hook doesn’t come until the end of the first chapter, about fifteen pages in, when the previously foreshadowed prejudiced-against-cyborgs mother realizes she’s caught the plague and sends the whole square into a panic.

I’d highly recommend reading it, (Not only to study, but because it is awesome and I don’t do it justice in summary). It’s a great example of how slower endings can be just as good or even better than ones that smash you with a ton right off the bat. Yes, Meyer could have started with the bigger and more exciting plague bit, and I probably would have still read and loved the book, but the way she did write it nails the pacing as well as having you completely committed to the story by the end of the chapter.

I think starting with him leaving a cave is fine, Laurence, but I do agree with mythopoet about the flow feeling a little off. I think it might help if you broke up some of the sentences so they aren’t all so long.

 

[Rkcapps]

I've found the best thing to do is to write a line that raises a question. Ask yourself, what questions do you raise? For example, in Helio's Goodkind example, I'd wonder, why was the vine odd looking? What made it odd looking? Now that's a short but simple well-crafted first line.

 

[Chessie2]

You want that hook/conflict on page one, okay to push it to page two but your intro needs to be strong. The opening scene should do these things all at once:
-establish setting
-introduce character (including flaw)
-set up plot
-provide the hook
-introduce the reader to your writing style

It's a lot of work to do all at once but it gets easier over time. Don't fret. Just keep writing.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

Why is that paragraph you posted *not* a hook, though?