Anonymous dialogue within a group

[The Din]

In my NIP I am experimenting with a technique that leaves certain speakers of a group anonymous to the the reader. Just wondering if this would p*** anyone off to come across in a novel:

He stumbled between the cells, weary as he was bloody, and twice as frightened. Behind rusted bars men watched and whispered, individual faces left featureless by the stagnant gloom.
'What happened to him?'
'Where are the guards?'
'Boy, how'd you get free?'
'Must have jumped them and taken their keys.'
'Unlock my door, you little c***!'
'No, open mine.'
'Come back here...'
He ignored them all and struggled on, gaze fixed on the growing square of light. Soon he would be free.

(Just a random example by the way) I want to include dialogue, but not necessarily all the actions or descriptions it would take to identify the different speakers.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Aidan of the tavern]

I would be OK with it, but it would have to be kept in short managable chunks or I would lose track of who was speaking and get confused.

 

[Giant]

I think it reads fine the way you have it. It was very clear from their dialogue that the men behind the bars were the ones who were speaking.

 

[Llewellyn]

I'd give some description of the speaker, even if it is something like, "Another, slumped against a cold wall,
shouted,". It depends on the tempo you are trying to establish.
The way you have written the dialogue imparts an element of impersonalization, helping to establish
the prisoners as a "block" entity, rather than individuals, if that is what you want.

 

[San Cidolfus]

Given the fact that your character has just been knocked around, leaving the men behind the bars without a description fits quite well. Your dude's been slapped and called silly names; he's not too interested in gazing into the meaty faces of the gorillas behind the bars.
Keep it, says I.

 

[Centerfield97]

I like it, might even utilize the technique myself. Well done!

 

[Qiara]

I agree that anonymous dialog can add depth to a scene as long as it does not confuse or steal focus. A powerful technique when used appropriately.

Qiara

 

[EpitomyofShyness]

Given the fact that your character has just been knocked around, leaving the men behind the bars without a description fits quite well.

This sums up how I feel about the section you showed us. I really like the way you're using it here.

 

[Codey Amprim]

I'd give some description of the speaker, even if it is something like, "Another, slumped against a cold wall,
shouted,". It depends on the tempo you are trying to establish.
The way you have written the dialogue imparts an element of impersonalization, helping to establish
the prisoners as a "block" entity, rather than individuals, if that is what you want.

I like the style but if you incorporate a little of what Llewelyn had said, I think it would help out tremendously. Not all of the voices need to be entirely addressed, but make sure that at least some of them are.