Charge/attitude of a sentence?

[Svrtnsse]

A quiet warmth grew in his chest and his heart beat a little faster.

Consider the above sentence. Would you say it's positively or negatively charged? Would you say that whatever happened before this had a positive or negative impact on the character in question?

What kind of situation do you imagine it might have been that caused a reaction like this?



Edit: Originally I thought of posting this in the Showcase forum as it's a sentence right out of my WiP, but I figured it's a bit too short.
It might also be nice with a little discussion on the topic of how to infuse sentences with positive/negative attitudes or emotions without explicitly typing them out.

 

[Feo Takahari]

There are cases where "warmth" would imply something negative, but without much in the way of context, it's usually positive--something that's warm doesn't sound as potentially painful as something that's hot or sweltering. The rest of it's ambiguous.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I would assume he's having the sort of "warmth" that one might describe when seeing someone pretty. To me, that's how I'd describe it if I were feeling that way. Warm all of a sudden and with a quicker pulse.

 

[Caged Maiden]

Okay, so if I want to give a spin on an observation, I use the character's words to some extent and consider their take on the situation. For example, in my WiP, the city is full of mulberry trees. Having one in my back yard and hating berry season, I put a little of my own ire into this sentence:

The pungent odor of rotting mulberries hung thick in the air, an unfortunate result of Kanassa’s booming silk trade. Yvette closed her window to shut out the offensive stench.

I'm not certain the second sentence was necessary to reiterate she didn't like it, but it certainly supports her thoughts on the situation. I could have simply had her close the window, but I just KNOW how yucky that smell is and I dislike it in my yard and especially wafting in my windows.

I think any given observation by a character can be positive, negative, or indifferent.

I try to use those "takes" on things to set apart characters. Let's be real, some PEOPLE tend to see the world as mostly negative, being indifferent to many things until something comes along they don't like. And bet your butt, they let you know it. Other people tend to be mostly positive or even silently observant, contemplative, even. I have a couple characters in my books who think a lot and speak less or maybe they think very profound things but the words that come out of their mouths are jumbled, lower-class, or otherwise not a direct representation of their personalities. I enjoy that contrast, actually and I'm kinda tickled whenever I read a story and realize I've put a little bit of that "two-facedness" in there. I think it always makes for a better read if characters aren't simply observing things around them, but putting their feelings into their thoughts a bit.

 

[Penpilot]

Without context, just on its own, the sentence reads positive to me. I'd imagine that something nice just happened to him. Maybe a pretty girl just smiled at him. And I'd agree that the key word in the sentence is "warmth."

But I do think that context can subvert a sentence like this and spin it into the negative realm.

I mean if you told me that the POV of the scene is from a crazy stalker watching his obsession, that puts a more creepy spin on the sentence. Maybe he's about to pounce on his unsuspecting victim.

 

[Svrtnsse]

Cheers for the feedback everyone. The intent is for the sentence to be positively charged, it's appearing in an otherwise nice and pleasant situation.
I struggled a bit with that particular part on the first attempt as I spread on the cheerful happiness way too thick and the end result was a situation full of rapturous, ecstatic, joy. So I've scaled it back a little and hopefully this part, along with everything else around it will create the intended effect.

I think that as pointed out earlier the word "warmth" is positively charged. It's something pleasant and you'd associate it with pleasant things like a cozy little fire or sitting really close to someone you like - things like that.

A heart beating faster is more ambiguous, as it's something that can happen in several situations, both good and bad. I'm thinking that if it just beats "a little" faster, it's not really a panic moment. Something exciting/interesting is happening, but it's not shocking or dangerous.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

Bit late to the discussion but I agree it reads positively.

Warmth suggests a comfortable feeling. In combination with an accelerated heart rate, it suggest an excitement caused by pleasurable emotion.

Often, our psychosomatic responses to stimuli are very similar, even when the emotions themselves lie on opposite ends of the spectrum. For example, if angered, a character's face might flush with heat while the vein in their neck throbs. It's still a type of warmth & it's still an increase in heart rate...BUT, the way the POV notices the body reaction (in combination with context), conveys an entirely different message to the reader.

By the way, love that your showing through internal sensation.

 

[Terry Greer]

Also late - but its the word 'quiet' which makes it positive. Quiet things are rarely nasty -its too nice a word.

Swap it for a word like 'Sharp' or 'nagging', 'abrupt' etc - and its stops being positive.

 

[Svrtnsse]

Don't worry about being late. You both still make good points.

I read an article a while back about how some researchers mapped body activity with emotions and the results suggested the reactions were the same even between different cultures. Study: body mapping reveals emotions are felt in the same way across cultures (Wired UK)

There's a bit of room for scientific doubt etc, but for something like fiction writing, it's good enough. If we can describe the physical reactions in a way the reader can relate to it should increase their immersion into the story.


The point about "quiet" is well spotted. I don't think it alone swings the sentence to a positive, but it's a contributing factor - and easily missed.
I think that just like other sentences around this one will create a context to strengthen it, so will the words create their own context. Words like "warmth" and "quiet" both have the potential to swing both ways, but by combining them they swing more decisively in one direction.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I just want to put this in here, for people who are interested in Deep POV. Since we're talking about showing your character's reaction, rather than flat out saying, "Looking at her bouncing curls made his heart beat a little faster and a joy filled his heart.." Barf. i have read this little book twice and totally recommend it for people searching for better ways to get things across without "telling".

Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View: Jill Elizabeth Nelson: 9781470063856: Amazon.com: Books

it's 3.99 on kindle and worth every penny. A wonderful short look into Deep POV and easy to use even for beginning writers.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

The point about "quiet" is well spotted. I don't think it alone swings the sentence to a positive, but it's a contributing factor - and easily missed. I think that just like other sentences around this one will create a context to strengthen it, so will the words create their own context. Words like "warmth" and "quiet" both have the potential to swing both ways, but by combining them they swing more decisively in one direction.

I agree. Like PenPilot said earlier in this thread, if the POV is a stalker, or homicidal maniac, the word "quiet" takes on a whole different connotation.