Dialogue question?

[The Blue Lotus]

I was told that this is incorrect however when I look up the rules it seems to suggest I have done it right, any help is much appreciated.

Here is an example: A man is talking to someone telling a story that has direct quotes. I was told that the punctuation to mark the story teller and the quotes was wrong.



1) story teller --> “From the depths of the endless ocean a humming sound began, its crescendo slowly growing to fill the emptiness with its throbbing energy. The night had ended. This sound awoke the Lord just as the dawn began to break over the vast expanse of nothingness. From the Lord’s navel a magnificent lotus flower sprouted forth. In the middle of the blossom sat his servant, Brahma. He awaited the Lord's command.

“The Lord spoke to his servant:2) --> quote within the story 'It is time to begin.' Brahma
bowed to him.

Here is how it looks with out my notes.
“From the depths of the endless ocean a humming sound began, its crescendo slowly growing to fill the emptiness with its throbbing energy. The night had ended. This sound awoke the Lord just as the dawn began to break over the vast expanse of nothingness. From the Lord’s navel a magnificent lotus flower sprouted forth. In the middle of the blossom sat his servant, Brahma. He awaited the Lord's command.

“The Lord spoke to his servant: 'It is time to begin.' Brahma bowed to him.

 

[sashamerideth]

The last colon, may be better as a comma, but I think that is more a style choice, just be consistent.

I am not punctuation perfect but it looks right to me.

 

[ShortHair]

When presenting a quote inside a quote, surround it with single quotes. Similarly, when using parentheses inside parentheses, make them brackets. A quote inside a quote inside a quote goes back to double quotes, but it's better to avoid those situations than to possibly cause confusion.

 

[Leuco]

I haven't come across that particular problem, but I trust your research. Seems fine to me. Thanks for the reference.

 

[Map the Dragon]

This (below) is technically perfect, although there are variations. The use of the colon in yours is accurate, but unorthodox.


“From the depths of the endless ocean a humming sound began, its crescendo slowly growing to fill the emptiness with its throbbing energy. The night had ended. This sound awoke the Lord just as the dawn began to break over the vast expanse of nothingness. From the Lord’s navel a magnificent lotus flower sprouted forth. In the middle of the blossom sat his servant, Brahma. He awaited the Lord's command.

“The Lord spoke to his servant. 'It is time to begin.' Brahma bowed to him."

 

[The Blue Lotus]

Thanks Map and Sasha.
I thought I was right but my mentor said it was all wrong so I went back through and checked out the rules but they all pointed to the I was right direction...
TYVM folks!

 

[Shadoe]

“From the depths of the endless ocean a humming sound began, its crescendo slowly growing to fill the emptiness with its throbbing energy. The night had ended. This sound awoke the Lord just as the dawn began to break over the vast expanse of nothingness. From the Lord’s navel a magnificent lotus flower sprouted forth. In the middle of the blossom sat his servant, Brahma. He awaited the Lord's command.

“The Lord spoke to his servant: 'It is time to begin.' Brahma bowed to him.

The second paragraph should be thus:

“The Lord spoke to his servant: 'It is time to begin.'"

Brahma bowed to him.

You don't have to enclose the first paragraph entirely with quotes because it contains "many" lines of text. The second should have the closing quote marks because it is short. Personally, I always use closing quote marks because I'm anal.

Brahma should begin a new paragraph because it is the action of a separate person.