Formal Speaking MC

[Griffin]

My current MC has been raised in a temple since infancy. The belief system itself is irrelevant. The MC received a formal education from the Priestesses and Initiates (or Priestesses-in-training.) Because of this, she speaks rather formally and will sometime quote directly from the religious texts.

For example, if someone asks her where does she live, her reply would be, "My home is where the ashes of the Goddess rest. Book 3 Verse 21." This manner of speaking is more prevalent in the beginning. However, as she spends more time away from the temple, she does become more lax.

I guess my question is: would this be annoying? It's not that she's uptight or anything of that nature. It is just a part of her upbringing. As the story progresses, her speaking does become more 'urban' and for all that she quotes, even she has a hard time staying true of the verses.

Any and all feedback would be appreciated.

 

[Ireth]

I think it's a very interesting method of characterization, personally, and I like that she eventually lapses into less formal speech over time, I presume as a result of character development. If she were to be brought back to the Temple after a long time away during which her speech relaxed significantly, would she have trouble readjusting to speaking so formally? I think that could be a neat idea to have fun with.

 

[Jon_Chong]

Is it going to be annoying? Probably, in the same way we find people constantly quoting the bible to be annoying. But let me ask you something. Is this necessarily a bad thing? It's a part of the character. As such you are well within your rights to portray the character as is. There will be people who hate it, and people who find it an interesting quirk of the character and it is a quantifiable change in the character that we as a reader can track as he grows more relaxed with the world at large.

If you are still worried about it being annoying, you can turn it into a source for comic relief as characters constantly poke fun at him for it and he gets real self conscious about it. He'll try to fit in a couple of times, with rather disastrous results. But slowly, surely, he is relaxing his grip.

 

[Ankari]

If she actually stated the origin of her replies, yes. A religious figure isn't supposed to be a record that plays back sounds, they are supposed to be people of wisdom who use their religious knowledge to guide their actions. If she would have said: "My heart beats for my goddess, I am always home." or simply "My home is where the ashes of the Goddess rest." that would be enough. If she were to answer a philosophical question where the questioner would need citation, then fine. A mundane question can be answered formally, but not too formally.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I think balance is key here. While I like the idea of religious fanatics (I have an aspiring paladin who is a total fanatic), the idea of quoting lines of holy texts almost seems unrealistic and out of context to me. I'd find it a lot more believable if she were sort of awkward, perhaps she doesn't eat meat or dresses weird. I like how she has a strange speech pattern, but I wouldn't overdo it.

 

[Jon_Chong]

I don't think the MC is a religious fanatic, just that this was the way she was brought up and she does not know much else. Least ways, that's how I see it. The holy script is her guidebook to life and it's not so much that she's out to convert people, it's just how she sees the world and her speech reflects this

 

[Shockley]

I don't find it annoying if done sparingly. That's how Mattie is in True Grit, so it can be pulled off if done well.

 

[Queshire]

I wouldn't have 'em quote the book / verse. Personally if I was trying to make someone seem to speak formally, I'd just have them not use conntractions, so like going can not or I am instead of can't or I'm, as well as not using slang.

 

[Saigonnus]

Using a real-world comparison, I wouldn't think the templars or knights of the holy roman empire of old would go around quoting lines of text from holy tomes. Perhaps their "formal" is simply addressing people in a proper manner and using words that perhaps the regular common folk don't know or use. You can make statements as to the belief system without "bible-thumping" as it were, just by the behavior of the character and what they say.

Imagine a priestess in a tavern with a contact selling stolen church relics and he offers her whiskey, but she states that she'd prefer wine; as it is against her faith to have stronger spirits. She could visibly sneer as the man sends the barmaid away with a smack on the bottom or how he slips her some coins in hopes of getting some personal attention. Just her mannerisms could show what she feels about certain things without her pulling out scripture and bashing him on the head with it.

 

[The Dark One]

I think it's a good idea - I already had a bit of imagery flash into my head just on your brief description.

Balance is the key. This kind of feature will help to make your character and story real in the mind of the reader, but you mustn't overdo it or it could get tedious. If she lets up a little after leaving the temple, there's an inbuilt excuse to relax the formality.