Head hopping?

[BiggusBeardus]

Hello!

I was just writing a scene with 3 characters all in a room together. One character is the POV character.

One of the other characters goes to another room and I described what she saw and what she did when she went in the room.

And then I described the 3rd character's emotions and thoughts.

That's head hopping isn't it? I should probably cut those bits out of the scene, right?

I should only describe things from the POV character's view point, right?

Other than through dialogue with the POV character, is there a "correct" way to include what the non-POV characters are doing/feeling/thinking etc.?

 

[A. E. Lowan]

That is absolutely head hopping. And it's a part of your writing toolbox, like everything else, like adverbs, prologues, and flashbacks. So, rather than automatically cutting it, ask yourself why it's important for your second character to have her viewpoint? If it's just to describe a pretty room, you'll want to mark that for a review and a probable cut, later. But, if what she sees is important to your story, and she's the only one who can include it rather than having your original POV character join her, then you need it as is. And then ask why the third character needs to have their emotions and thoughts included and not just seen through your first character's eyes.

And then we repeat and repeat until the end of the work.

I'm the drafter on a 3-woman team, and we regularly have 7 - 9 or so POV characters per book. I'm also known to do a little head hopping when it's called for, and no one's called me out on it, yet. Keep at it. Don't worry about whether you're doing it 'right' or not. At this stage just get it all down and out of your head. Then you can focus on honing your craft for the next story.

 

[Finchbearer]

I feel like if it’s the first time you’re writing your POV’s you’re going through that process of wanting to know their thoughts from your personal perspective, or that is to say you’re only telling yourself the story for now. Once you go through editing I think you’ll see where it might be beneficial to change the POV’s so they make sense to the potential reader. Head hopping can feel a bit messy to read in my opinion, and I’d rather have a different POV per new chapter. But that’s just how I feel as a reader. I also prefer not to have each chapter named after the POV character, it can feel messy, but again that’s me. George RR Martin did that to successful affect, even though I wasn’t a huge fan of that style.

 

[Prince of Spires]

There is no rule that you can only ever write from 1 POV at a time or that you can't head-hop. The only thing you should pay attention to is that you do it conciously.

When writing you create an artificial reality. Sticking to only 1 head per scene is just one variation of creating a reality. The most modern version is to write a single POV per scene. Either in first person, or 3rd person limited. However, there is no reason you can't deviate from that. Lord of the Rings is written in omniscient, and that still sells very well. There you can be in any head in any time. Nothing wrong with that. You can also do it for a specific scene (I think Demesnedenoir did that in the climax for one of his novels).

The main thing is that you should know what the effect is of what you do. Very few readers will think "I don't like this because it's not stricktly in 3rd person limited" or "The writer shouldn't have given me that thought because this character can't know it." If it's done wrong, readers will simply either be confused who's thinking or less invested in characters or something like that.

So my advice is to write it how it comes to you and then evaluate if it's working or not afterwards.

 

[BiggusBeardus]

Wow! Thanks for the great responses people. That really helps.

I've WANTED to write since around 1994 and I'm just now seriously pursuing it, so I'm a noob as far as ACTUALLY writing goes. I also have worldbuilder's disease lol but I'm getting over it.

I appreciate all of you taking the time to respond.

 

[Mad Swede]

Yes, I head hop when I write my novels, and my editor encourages this. She feels it gives better flow in a novel than having one POV per chapter. But she is also quite clear that the characters you head hop between must be significant characters, they can't just be bit players like a gate guard or an anonymous servant. I rarely use the technique when I'm writing short stories, because I find a short story tends not to flow when I do that.

 

[pmmg]

Well...I did just go though a book and fix all the head hopping. I do think it is stronger because of it. But there are not hard rules, just whatever works. In the drafting stage, sometimes you just gotto write it ugly, and get it down on paper. Always time to fix later.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

The main rule in 3rd Om: set the rules for your reader and don't confuse them.

True Head Hopping = a writer breaking from 3rd Limited when they do not mean to. This is never a good thing. 3rd Om doesn't actually "head hop," because it's intentional.

Must be a significant character? I'd disagree. Depending on definitions, I'd wager Herbert and Dickens and others have given informational blurbs of perspective from small timers. it could be a bit like a movie cutting to to two onlookers for a quick hit of persepctive and never seeing them again.

 

[mbox]

Not sure if this is the same, but I do something similar, usually in final battles, swapping POVs between the combatants. I really like this as it gives the reader insight into what each fighter is thinking, how hurt they really are, and what they are planning tactics-wise.