how to describe lighting?

[k.lee]

I'm currently writing a scene where my character is walking through her castle in the evening. I keep using the same words to describe the lighting and need something different.

"Entering through a wooden back door, she ascended the winding stone steps. The lighting through the stained glass windows was dim, the sun having set, and the candled sconces along the walls gave off what little light they could to help her see."
The next sentence is supposed to describe the long castle hallways but I can't figure out how to describe it without saying "light".

Any advice would be appreciated!

 

[Finchbearer]

You can get as creative or as literal as you want with descriptions.

The first port of call could be a flick through a thesaurus, so synonyms for light / lighting / sunlight.

Then if you want to get more creative you could extend the description. The light shone through the window in beams of golden rays.

Then you could move onto similes. The light shone through the window like molten gold.

If you wanted to avoid using that word altogether perhaps you could describe objects in the room being lit up, or how the room looks from the perspective of a character, which would mean you’d be showing and not telling.

There are many creative ways to not be literal or repetitive.

 

[pmmg]

Entering through a wooden back door, she ascended the winding stone steps. The lighting through the stained glass windows was dim, the sun having set, and the candled sconces along the walls gave off what little light they could to help her see. The corridors stretched endlessly before her, She moved along them, her eyes adjusting to the dark, seeing their details only from the brief flashes outside. Even the candles did little more than mark the trail.

 

[dollyt8]

I'm currently writing a scene where my character is walking through her castle in the evening. I keep using the same words to describe the lighting and need something different.

"Entering through a wooden back door, she ascended the winding stone steps. The lighting through the stained glass windows was dim, the sun having set, and the candled sconces along the walls gave off what little light they could to help her see."
The next sentence is supposed to describe the long castle hallways but I can't figure out how to describe it without saying "light".

Any advice would be appreciated!

Rather than light you can focus on shadow and darkness: the hallway was dark and shadowy, as opposed to "there wasn't much light," or conversely, "The shadows stood out sharply against the floor," to show backlighting; you can also use "the glow through the stained glass windows was dim" rather than light, or "gave off what little glow they could to help her see," or "glimmered as well as they could to help her see" or "flickered brightly/weakly" depending on what you're going for.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

I love finding inspiration pictures to help me figure out what sort of descriptions fit the scene, in tone as well as in vision, sound, taste, smell, and feel. This is from our book, Faerie Rising: The First Book of Binding, along with the pic I used to write it. Took me forever to find what I wanted.

~~~



“I can’t hear anything over the fire crew,” he said evenly, and his words sank into the empty space beyond. Voices rang distantly to them, fire fighters calling to each other in the gloom. She could smell the chemical nature of the smoke but it did not burn her lungs. The wards were working.

“It’s in there. Let’s go before one of them finds it,” Winter urged, hitching her bag higher on her shoulder and waited for him to move forward. She knew better than to put herself in front of an armed escort.

Etienne slipped through the doorway and after an uneventful moment Winter followed. Morning sunlight speared from the entry through the smoke into the vast space cluttered with rows and rows of dust and filth-shrouded machines, marching in ranks into the dark depths of the factory floor. Tall patchwork windows let in a grimy species of light, shot through with the occasional brightness of a vandal-broken pane. To their right and several hundred yards away the main doorway was a hive of light and activity and a roof of smoke hung low over their heads, undulating like a living thing as it made its constant escape through every opening it could find. Finally, Winter saw the flames, licking their way in a sulky fashion down at the far end of the factory and seeming to send up more smoke than actual heat – not even hot enough to attract salamanders or any other of the common fire elementals. Maybe something was actually going her way for a change.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

And we also have this, which is a classic for a reason. That reason isn't why I like it here. I like it because not only is it a good example of showing, it's a good example of showing light. It's not a description of light itself. It's a description of the effect that light has on the objects it touches.

 

[JBCrowson]

What if you try something like "the setting sun bursting through the stained glass windows coloured the walls without illuminating the room to a useful degree. The flickering candles in their sconces were prominently placed but scarcely more helpful."

 

[Penpilot]

I'm going to second what A.E. Lowan said.

With that said, be careful about dancing around a word too much. A lot of times a writer notices multiple uses of a word more than a reader does. When I come across situations like this. I just used the word, and I'll make an inline note about alternative words, and then come back later once I've gotten some distance from the text and then decide.

 

[Prince of Spires]

You could just not describe the lighting at all. Or at least, not all the time.

Once you've established the level of the light, you don't need to keep repeating it over and over again when describing the setting. Just put in an occasional reminder to the reader. For instance, in your example, you've mentioned that it's pretty dark. As long as that doesn't change, then you don't need to tell the reader that again in the next sentence when you describe the long hallway she enters.

=> Entering through a wooden back door, she ascended the winding stone steps. The lighting through the stained glass windows was dim, the sun having set, and the candled sconces along the walls gave off what little light they could to help her see. She walked through the doorway into the long hallway of the upper level, weaving her way around half-seen statues.

Other than that, describe the effect of the level of lighting on the character. Phrases like she couldn't see much in the dark shadows, or the end of the hallway lay hidden in the darkness, or she bumped into a cupboard she'd failed to see, or the lantern halfway down the hall ruined her dark vision, and she paused for a moment waiting for her eyes to adapt again. Or similar things. As said, only mention the level of light a few times and then carry on. The reader generally reads a lot faster than you write, so there's no need to bring the same thing up multiple times on a page. Instead, vary things and throw in the the occasional reminder.

 

[NoahGrey]

I often get bogged down as well in describing something without repetition. I find that doing my best, even if it is repetitive is something I can adjust in the second draft as I go. I've found myself just pulling a paragraph of my work and taking each sentence and trying to rewrite it different ways. It's fun practice and sometimes I can't improve that I can tell but often I find ways to rebuild the sentence that shows more detail and relates better to the picture in my mind.

Love so many of the suggestions in this thread as well.

 

[k.lee]

Wow, I appreciate all the amazing advice! Thank you, everyone, I will definitely be using these suggestions!

 

[A. E. Lowan]

I often get bogged down as well in describing something without repetition. I find that doing my best, even if it is repetitive is something I can adjust in the second draft as I go. I've found myself just pulling a paragraph of my work and taking each sentence and trying to rewrite it different ways. It's fun practice and sometimes I can't improve that I can tell but often I find ways to rebuild the sentence that shows more detail and relates better to the picture in my mind.

Love so many of the suggestions in this thread as well.

I've been doing this a very long time, and for some reason I can't abide repeating words. Mine, other people, doesn't matter, And not only within sentences, but even 'too close,' in my warped little brain, from paragraph to paragraph. And~ not only can they not repeat, they have to be 'right.' Thank heavens English has a whole lot of words to pull from and no quibbles about stealing from other languages because shiny. Also, thank Master William for making up words from whole cloth. That way when I do it I can just point at you when I'm too lazy to reply, "Yes, I'm an author. We can do that."

 

[JBCrowson]

thank Master William for making up words from whole cloth

Mr clever Dickens was another great neologiser, to the extent I sometimes wonder how I'd travel the writing highway without him having made the paving stones first.

 

[Karlin]

I'm with A.E. Lowan. You never see the "lighting". you see objects that are illuminated by the light.