• Welcome to the Fantasy Writing Forums. Register Now to join us!

Is my story good enough for a Villain Mc

Nnamani

Dreamer
Basically my main character is the protagonist and final villain. She managed to deceive the whole world that she is the chosen one and that she is the one to deliver her kind from evil but here is the twist. In actuality, she had already killed the real chosen one and her main goal is to be the most powerful person in the world and rule over everything but along the way she goes insane with power and tries to destroy everything. What do y'all think? Is she good enough?
 

Devor

Fiery Keeper of the Hat
Moderator
The loose idea is pretty good so far, but you might want to work on developing the character's motivations beyond "be powerful and rule everything."
 
Could definitely be a fun read. The Neverending Story is kind of this actually.

Do you want to hide it from the reader? That might be tough if you are very deep inside the protagonists head. Especially if it's a concious plan instead of something she stumbles into and just tries to make the best of. Not that you shouldn't write it because it's tough of course. Just something to be aware of.
 
The basic general outline sounds like a solid idea to me.

Questions to ask yourself: what narrative of story telling will you use, first person or third? Do you have another set of characters who witness this, or are we the reader being deceived?

Details: give details about the world you have built, the other characters, and what are the benefits and risks to becoming the chosen one?

Outline the plot in detail: a beginning, a middle and an end!

Come back with these details, I’d love to hear them. I do like a good female villain, but she has to be multi-faceted and more than just ‘evil’ in my opinion. Villanelle comes to mind. Keep going.
 

Nnamani

Dreamer
The basic general outline sounds like a solid idea to me.

Questions to ask yourself: what narrative of story telling will you use, first person or third? Do you have another set of characters who witness this, or are we the reader being deceived?

Details: give details about the world you have built, the other characters, and what are the benefits and risks to becoming the chosen one?

Outline the plot in detail: a beginning, a middle and an end!

Come back with these details, I’d love to hear them. I do like a good female villain, but she has to be multi-faceted and more than just ‘evil’ in my opinion. Villanelle comes to mind. Keep going.
The narrative of my story is the idea person. There will be a character that knows her true motives but they also work with her at a distance for their motive. The readers will be deceived but I shall leave little hints that only those perspective enough will figure out and even then I will gaslight the readers to think they are wrong.

The world I've built is named Aubrius( from the word Aubrey meaning elf ruler). In this alternate earth there are four races with different cultures;

Elves: The spiritual manifestation of Aubrius and the most magically gifted of the entire races. They are four kinds of elves; Pureblood(Royalty),Sun elves (Nobility), Common(the ordinary/peasants) and Moon elves (Mixed blood of demons and elves. Pureblood elves are the only elves close to being the complete manifestation of Aubrius but the true pure elves has died out while the rest of the elves except the moon elves are just variants of the Pureblood elves. The elves were originally colonised by the humans who at that time were cunning against their sweet nature and had magicked weapons powerful enough to overpower them but they fought fiercely for their independence. Fast forward to a century later, the elves holding grudges decided to colonise the declining humans as revenge and in the process the elves in power became tyrannical and unreasonable and are quite hated by other races. The moon elves are exception to this as during the time of elven colonisation they were servants of the demons and during the human colonisation they were building their own empire. The other elves are quite racist to them(Dark skin). Pureblood elves and the others are modeled after the romans while the moon elves are based on Anglo-Saxons and the Greek empire. Mages, politicians, apothecaries are the popular occupations

Dwarven: Short, vulgar and ugly are the three adjectives to describe this creatures. Despite their unattractiveness these Dwarven are excellent artisans and craftmen. Their ancestors the Deviants created the weapon of ancient gods themselves. Their continent is barren but thanks to their brilliant investing, trading skills and craftmanship their continent remains one of the advanced culturally and technology wise. The Dwarven continent is divided into two ; the North and the South. The North is ruled by Clan Daifa and the Dwarven there are referred to as Dajan (modeled after the Yoruba) while the South is ruled by Clan Elkan and their called Yllis(modeled after the old Benin empire). Being an artisans is their main profession.

Demons: The demons who live in Aubrius are rumoured to have been banished from hell by the council of Nervea(the devil and his brothers). They're the kings of the entertainment and business sectors among the three Great Continents. Sinfully beautiful and mysterious, their society places emphasis on power and wealth, the more money you have the more opportunities and respect you gain. They generally mind their business and avoid trouble unless their in the mood for it. They are neutral to the fighting between the elves and d humans. Think of the demon world as the 1920s era

Humans: The race that went form being the king of the world to its slave. Humans dint have magical power like the elves, energy like the Dwarven or raw power like the demons, what they had was imagination and they used it to create otherworldly inventions capable of defeating their enemies. They plundered Aubrius and left destruction in their wake but karma got to them when the strong humans began to die and they fell leaving room for the elves to subjugate them. The elves mistreated them terrible so they tried to fight for their independence but they failed until Aldora and Zipporah came along. The only magical ability the humans have is the power to manipulate fake Magick to create illusions which was essentially an imprint the elves save to worthy humans since they could not reproduce as Aldora had placed a curse on them. Think of old human era as Spain and their new one as the trans Atlantic slave trade era.

So this is a summary of my world.
 
High concept is something spoken of more in Hollywood, and its definition is arguable. However, let's take a look at M. Night's movies. Sixth Sense was high concept with a major twist. He made it work and it became a major box office smash hit on a puny budget. Every other movie I've seen from M. Night is also high concept, and IMO every damned one of them stunk it up, and in large part, they became box office disasters. It got to the point where I now refuse to watch anything he makes, heh heh. High-concept flicks make up many of the greatest blockbusters and an outsized proportion of flops.

The trouble in H'wood is that many high concepts can be sold before the story is written, and pulling it off to put butts in seats gets tricky. If the twist is critical, as in Sixth Sense, it's a writing challenge, because the reader/viewer must also be able to go back and say "I shoulda seen that coming!". Hand over too many clues and the gig is up, you lose. No shocking twist equals no payoff and therefore no success. Hand over too few clues, so that the audience thinks you cheated, you lose. Deus ex machine is a form of the latter.
nWhat do you mean?
 

Devor

Fiery Keeper of the Hat
Moderator
High Concept usually means there’s a lot of unusual parts holding up the story. Boy meets girl = low concept. Boy is an enchanted doll whose wooden heart slowly begins to beat when she’s around = high concept.
 
Depends on who you speak with. This was always a fun and light-hearted topic to bring up in my screenwriting years. Some folks go with the "if the primary plot fits into a 'what if' question" with a succinct description relaying the focus of the tale. Another tendency is plot-driven versus character-driven. The definition is hard to nail down precisely, with one producer I spoke with once saying high concept is like porn, you know it when you see it. heh heh.

.High Concept usually means there’s a lot of unusual parts holding up the story. Boy meets girl = low concept. Boy is an enchanted doll whose wooden heart slowly begins to beat when she’s around = high concept.
 

pmmg

Vala
Every other movie I've seen from M. Night is also high concept, and IMO every damned one of them stunk it up, and in large part, they became box office disasters. It got to the point where I now refuse to watch anything he makes, heh heh. High-concept flicks make up many of the greatest blockbusters and an outsized proportion of flops.

I was with you. Mr. Shyamalan lost me with bad movies, but I went to see his most recent one, and he had a part at the beginning where he spoke directly to us, the audience, and explained a bit of the risks he takes. My appreciation grew. I'd give him another chance now, but he is not quite sticking the landings. He needs to hit one again so I can feel the investment was worth it. I see a lot of other actors doing that now too, and though a gimmick, I appreciate it. Better than all the blockheads getting into fights with the fans on twitter. The idea--saying thanks for coming to see the movie :)
 
You certainly have a lot of detail worked out by the looks of it from your description, and the four races sound like they all have their own complexities, which would offer endless scope. The demons would interest me the most. From my perspective it’s definitely high fantasy, and to me also high concept if my definition of what that is is also correct.

I think there would be scope enough there for a series for sure, but crafting various character arcs along with the overarching plot would be the crux of the whole thing. Nail that, and then it is (in theory) a case of filling in the details with brilliant writing that keeps the reader guessing after every single chapter. Which is the challenge I am facing at the moment too!

You also have some real world themes in there that connote to some sensitive subjects such as slavery, racism and skin colour. If it were me, I would tread carefully. There are many fantasy concepts that deal with racism but that don’t necessarily connote to skin colour, usually humans being racist towards elves for example, being degoratory towards to physical attributes such as pointy ears - so is dealing with racism but is removed enough so that it doesn’t feel arbitrary. If done well this element will resonate with readers. But I’m sure you’ll handle that.

Perhaps I’ve not read it all completely clearly, but who is our villain? And if you’re willing to share, what is the chosen one chosen for?
 

Nnamani

Dreamer
There are no real villains as each race has done terrible things to each other. There is not a clear line of right or wrong.
You certainly have a lot of detail worked out by the looks of it from your description, and the four races sound like they all have their own complexities, which would offer endless scope. The demons would interest me the most. From my perspective it’s definitely high fantasy, and to me also high concept if my definition of what that is is also correct.

I think there would be scope enough there for a series for sure, but crafting various character arcs along with the overarching plot would be the crux of the whole thing. Nail that, and then it is (in theory) a case of filling in the details with brilliant writing that keeps the reader guessing after every single chapter. Which is the challenge I am facing at the moment too!

You also have some real world themes in there that connote to some sensitive subjects such as slavery, racism and skin colour. If it were me, I would tread carefully. There are many fantasy concepts that deal with racism but that don’t necessarily connote to skin colour, usually humans being racist towards elves for example, being degoratory towards to physical attributes such as pointy ears - so is dealing with racism but is removed enough so that it doesn’t feel arbitrary. If done well this element will resonate with readers. But I’m sure you’ll handle that.

Perhaps I’ve not read it all completely clearly, but who is our villain? And if you’re willing to share, what is the chosen one chosen for?
 
You have your main character who is secretly the villain? So their character arc would be from how they begin their story, how they overcome a difficulty or a significant event, and then how would they conclude their story? Presumably she gets what she wanted in terms of stealing the chosen ones power?

I’m no expert here by any means, but when I’ve read books the main character usually has a series of major developments to their character from the beginning of the book to the end. So from my understanding a character arc can provide a kind of visual framework for this to help you establish how you want to write their story. That’s all it is.
 
I'm not sure that I'm buying the "risk taker" thing as an excuse, but he does do that. However, after Sixth Sense he was given an essentially unheard-of 5 movie contract with carte blanche to do whatever he wanted (from what I heard from folks inside the biz) and the only risk I saw taken was directing progressively worse films, heh heh. A head or two at the studios should've rolled for cutting that deal. But hey! He's still working and making piles of money, so more power to him. He just won't get my money.

I was with you. Mr. Shyamalan lost me with bad movies, but I went to see his most recent one, and he had a part at the beginning where he spoke directly to us, the audience, and explained a bit of the risks he takes. My appreciation grew. I'd give him another chance now, but he is not quite sticking the landings. He needs to hit one again so I can feel the investment was worth it. I see a lot of other actors doing that now too, and though a gimmick, I appreciate it. Better than all the blockheads getting into fights with the fans on twitter. The idea--saying thanks for coming to see the movie :)
 
Top