Is this joke a little silly for a story aimed at a (decently old) audience?

[Naruzeldamaster]

To be clear I'm using the joke regardless. I just wonder if it's a little ya know, silly, for a young adult-mid 30's story.

Basically, the continents are surrounded by barriers of magical origin (the exact form said barier takes depends on the continent, like one is a dense fog and the other is a sandstorm etc) and Very few species know how to cross said barrier. Generally limited to magical species, such as elves, Lamia etc.

One such species is a race of female warriors. They know how to pierce through the barriers (usually through sheer willpower/strength) and are the international postal service.
They are quite literally...the amazons...

I will admit it's one hell of a groaner, but I like it because it's simple. (and the joke will go over your head anyway if you don't shop online often)

 

[Finchbearer]

Do they do same day delivery?

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Do they do same day delivery?

On the same continent yes.
If it's between different Continents it takes a couple of days cause they need to break the barrier/swim across the ocean.

 

[pmmg]

Is this joke meant to break the 4th wall? or would it seem funny to those in the story as well.

I dont think this would take me out of the story.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Is this joke meant to break the 4th wall? or would it seem funny to those in the story as well.

I dont think this would take me out of the story.

It's not really a fourth wall break (the characters don't treat it like a joking matter, and they aren't aware of the company Amazon in real life) unless a character remarking about how one day technology will replace them counts. The joke is more for the reader to go 'wait a second....oh' and either chuckle or groan depending on their sense of humor.

 

[pmmg]

Well....I am not sure I would pick up on that. I would be asking other questions before I came to 'hey...isn't it odd that the amazons are actually delivery people, like amazon IRL.

I think this will not hurt your story.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Well....I am not sure I would pick up on that. I would be asking other questions before I came to 'hey...isn't it odd that the amazons are actually delivery people, like amazon IRL.

I think this will not hurt your story.

Yeah, my sense of humor is very specific/literal (I'm talking puts amilia badilia to shame literal) so I doubt many readers will get the joke. The ones who do, I fully expect them to roll their eyes, groan, or chuckle, not much else.

Another similar joke is a long range communication device that's a cord that produces electricity somehow. You shout into it and anyone else who has a piece of it can hear what you say into it. The merchant calls it a Dis-cord

I hope that one is a bit more obvious, but again, not sure anyone will get it lol

 

[pmmg]

If the story itself is priming the reader to look for it, I am sure it will stand out more.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

I like it. But I'm a sicko. I'd be a chuckler.

I've a character in Eve of Snows called The Touched, and I was writing his chapters right after David Bowie died. So, I changed up his description and slipped some album and song references into the character's wild speaking style.

Not a single person has caught it, and only one got it even if I tell them to read close and figure out who the character pays homage to.

 

[FifthView]

To be clear I'm using the joke regardless. I just wonder if it's a little ya know, silly, for a young adult-mid 30's story.

Basically, the continents are surrounded by barriers of magical origin (the exact form said barier takes depends on the continent, like one is a dense fog and the other is a sandstorm etc) and Very few species know how to cross said barrier. Generally limited to magical species, such as elves, Lamia etc.

One such species is a race of female warriors. They know how to pierce through the barriers (usually through sheer willpower/strength) and are the international postal service.
They are quite literally...the amazons...

I will admit it's one hell of a groaner, but I like it because it's simple. (and the joke will go over your head anyway if you don't shop online often)

I mean, Amazon is not a postal service per se, but a retail and package delivery service. So if these women were international postal workers, but one specialist department in their organization delivered packages of goods (i.e., not simply letters and correspondence, bills and junk mail fliers), referring to that department as "literally amazons" or some such would have a bigger kick.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

I mean, Amazon is not a postal service per se, but a retail and package delivery service. So if these women were international postal workers, but one specialist department in their organization delivered packages of goods (i.e., not simply letters and correspondence, bills and junk mail fliers), referring to that department as "literally amazons" or some such would have a bigger kick.

Hmm so maybe the main character who is one of the Amazons is a postal service worker (Because she enjoys seeing people receive their mail ) worker and the others in her tribe handle the packages for other departments? I could work with that.

Having them be literal amazons also has an alternative use, I doubt even the bravest bandit would mess with a crazy tall dragoon to steal packages. Especially not if killing even one of them takes an army. (like an actual army, not a figurative one)

Edit: re read what you said, I still think I could work with that heh.