Twook00
Sage
I'm struggling with exposition in my current story. Several readers have pointed out areas where my telling has interrupted the narrative and pulled them out of the tale. I'm trying to get a grasp on what I'm doing wrong and how to correct it.
Here's what I know:
I have information that is vital to the plot, so I need the reader to understand what is being told. I know that "show don't tell" is obviously a big deal, but there are times when telling is preferred. My problem is that I'm choosing the wrong times to tell, or I'm choosing to tell things that should be shown.
In one example, I use exposition to "put a gun on the mantle." My character is a barber who has an enchanted straight-razor. This razor is important because it will be used to end the story.
Looking at it now, I think a better way to write this would be:
Is this better? I'm omitting the telling statements like "it was a relic..." and "it was enchanted" and leaving it up to the reader to figure those things out. My fear is that the reader will wonder where the heck a spell-forged straight razor came from and how did this kid get one? What does it do exactly and how was it made? Who would make such a thing, and... yatta yatta yatta?
Likewise, I have this tantalizing bit of expo:
I'm putting this into the story so the reader will know what these Drymms are and what they do. Also, this is important info because it will be used later in the story when the MC learns that a certain person is actually a powerful wizard who knows all the secrets mentioned above. BUT, my MC knows all of this stuff about the Drymm, so why would he be thinking about it? How else would I present this knowledge quickly without throwing a speedbump into my story?
Any ideas? Thanks for the help!
Here's what I know:
I have information that is vital to the plot, so I need the reader to understand what is being told. I know that "show don't tell" is obviously a big deal, but there are times when telling is preferred. My problem is that I'm choosing the wrong times to tell, or I'm choosing to tell things that should be shown.
In one example, I use exposition to "put a gun on the mantle." My character is a barber who has an enchanted straight-razor. This razor is important because it will be used to end the story.
From his pocket, he withdrew the closest thing to a weapon he had; his straight razor. It had been a gift, a relic handed down from father to son, barber to barber, for generations. It was enchanted, and thus pulsed with a light the color of blue fire.
Looking at it now, I think a better way to write this would be:
From his pocket, he withdrew his straight razor. The spell-forged steel pulsed with a light the color of blue fire.
Is this better? I'm omitting the telling statements like "it was a relic..." and "it was enchanted" and leaving it up to the reader to figure those things out. My fear is that the reader will wonder where the heck a spell-forged straight razor came from and how did this kid get one? What does it do exactly and how was it made? Who would make such a thing, and... yatta yatta yatta?
Likewise, I have this tantalizing bit of expo:
Alas, the Drymm was valuable. They were mysterious creatures, and only few could bind them. In the wild, they were nigh invisible; nothing more than air within air. It took a very skilled person, usually a mage, to hunt one down. Even then, the secrets used to bind them to a task, such as acting as a map, were scarce known and never shared. It was a wonder these things even existed.
I'm putting this into the story so the reader will know what these Drymms are and what they do. Also, this is important info because it will be used later in the story when the MC learns that a certain person is actually a powerful wizard who knows all the secrets mentioned above. BUT, my MC knows all of this stuff about the Drymm, so why would he be thinking about it? How else would I present this knowledge quickly without throwing a speedbump into my story?
Any ideas? Thanks for the help!