Narrating action

[skip.knox]

There's no question here, only some comments on how to narrate a battle sequence. I'm currently reading Patrick O'Brian's naval books and I've seen him do two things that might be of interest here.

One, he skips whole sections. More than once he brings us into a fight, describing things in great detail, but only to the point where it's clear the action (cutting out, gun battle, whatever) is going to work. Then he jumps straight to the aftermath. It was a little disorienting at first, but I can see the virtue in it. It lets the author off from the sometimes tedious task of following through with all the details of mopping up. Battles do not end with a mighty crescendo; they trail off in sporadic engagements, pursuits, rooting out, hunting down. In a great many historical instances, nobody even knows who won until the next day, or even later. If it's a grind for the author to write, it's a grind for the reader to read. Anyway, it's an approach; easily botched, I should think, but one to keep in mind. Arrows in the quiver and all that.

The second I noticed in his third volume. Aubrey is engaged in another cutting-out expedition that requires coordination among four ships. It's a complicated maneuver--so much so they actually practice for a few days. It's going to be tricky to narrate, and O'Brian chooses a clever way to handle it.

He has Aubrey describe his idea to his friend Maturin first. Later, when he's more sure of it, he lays it out in detail to one of the other captains. Then he repeats the plan in sketchier form to the crews of the cutting-out boats.

By the time of the actual operation, the reader has heard the plan multiple times, so when he goes into the narrative, he can concentrate on the actions of individuals, the inevitable unexpected turns, and the emotions of the central characters. Had he not prepped us, and had to describe the plan as it went along, the narration would have bogged down dreadfully.

So, two techniques. Neither are ones you would use every time, but they offer some interesting solutions for specific situations, or at least alternatives worth considering. Arrows. Quivers. All that.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I think I've employed both those techniques before (or very similar) and really enjoy them.

I don't like battles. I think Tolkein did it too. I remember being like a sliver of the book away from the end of one of them when I went to go see the movie (maybe Helm's deep?) anyways, a battle starts int he middle of a movie that I hadn't read in the corresponding book yet... just a few pages from the end. I was floored!

I try to cut battles down to their important parts. While POV helps with that, because you only have to show one character, the fight I'm thinking of to compare to your example above, is a character watching his men line up, knowing their atrategy and having discussed it. He waits for his job to come and even receives a telepathic vision from one of the people sneaking around the back side of the keep. So, he watches the whole army for the beginning, but then as soon as it's his turn to act, all we see is him ride in through the gate and accomplish his mission.


I think showing a while battle would be tedious. To write and to read.

Thanks for shedding some light on this. I happen upon techniques as I write, but it's nice to see professional people also agree with what my brain naturally did.

 

[Julian S Bartz]

To write battles/combat you need to have a real interest in it. There are a lot of books I read where the author skips over the fighting. I have no problem with this as that is the authors style. Other authors (Say R.A Salvatore) likes to describe every riposte and parry. Also good if you like reading that sort of thing.

I for one think that if you are writing a large battle it is best to jump scenes, describing different parts of the action so that it doesnt become monotonous. Within the action use internal dialogue to break up heavy description. Even throw in normal dialogue. And keep sentences changing from short and sharp to convey quick action and long and descriptive for important points of the battle.