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Please give me advice on my action adventure supernatural horror novel


New Member
What do you think of my action adventure supernatural horror story novel?

This story will be about a supernatural medieval German prince who is a great warrior as a knight.

As a knight, he was one of the best martial artists and individual warriors for his time. He is an expert in a form of swordsmanship that uses a two-handed double-edged longsword as a weapon. He is also an expert in unarmed hand to hand combat martial arts such as ones that involve punching, etc.

As a supernatural being, he is a demonic lord in that he is a very powerful demonic sorcerer who has many dark supernatural powers. He doesn't age and is immortal due to his supernatural powers. He lives forever. He stopped aging at 18-years old. Aside from his supernatural powers, he also creates and commands very large numbers of diverse dangerous dark supernatural beings who are all extremely loyal to him. Due to his great power as a demonic lord, many humans gave him the title, "The Prince of Darkness."

Before the year 1376 AD, he locked himself in a room that can never be opened from the outside due to a very powerful supernatural spell he put on the room. The room is inside a Gothic palace he lives in. He then started to sleep for a very long time and this sleep continued to the modern age until some idiotic group of tourist American college frat boys decided to go to his palace, found a supernatural way to open the room he was sleeping in, opened the room using the supernatural way, and messed with his sleeping body in disrespectful way.

His sleep was disturbed. As a result, he was awakened from his sleep and he hated that his sleep was disturbed. He got enraged to the point that he turned into a very terrifying dark supernatural monster. He then brutally killed all of the American college frat boys. He got so angry that he decided to kill all humans on Earth so he unleashed some of his dark supernatural powers and all of his dark supernatural beings on all of mankind.

Due to the fact that the ones who disturbed his sleep were Americans, he decided to attack the USA first. The first places in the USA to be attacked and devastated were New York, Las Vegas, Washington, and Texas.

Due to this, a group of American mercenaries who were former military special forces soldiers decided to fight the German dark sorcerer knight prince to save humanity. The American mercenaries then attacked the castle and the palace of the German dark sorcerer knight prince where the German dark sorcerer knight prince is. By the way, the architecture of the palace and the castle is Gothic.

The story will be about the American mercenaries exploring the castle and the palace of the German dark sorcerer knight prince while at the same time, fighting through the German supernatural prince's army of dark supernatural beings. As the American mercenaries explore the castle and the palace, they uncover many secrets and information about the supernatural German knight prince such as his life, his past, his army of dark supernatural beings, his relatives, etc.

The final fight scene would be the leader(who is the protagonist) of the American mercenaries having a hand to hand combat duel to the death against the supernatural German prince. In this duel, the supernatural German prince is using a medieval two-handed double-edged longsword while the mercenary leader is using a modern military combat knife. The duel will take place in a room(in the palace of the supernatural German prince) where the supernatural German prince's throne is.

So what do you think of my action adventure supernatural horror story novel?

Is there any American movie that is similar to this when it comes to theme and plot? Please tell me because I really want to see some examples that can help me develop this novel of mine.


Well, some questions.

1) Why did he seal himself away?
2) If the supernatural way to open the locked room was something simple enough that frat boys with, presumably, no knowledge of the supernatural could stumble upon it then why wouldn't someone else have also stumbled upon it before now?
3) Does he only attack the USA or does he attack other places as well?
4) What's the US military doing while all this is happening as well as the other militaries of the world?
5) How do they fight their way through his supernatural army while remaining fresh enough that they can face off against the big boss at the end?
It sounds like The Mummy (the 1999 Brandon Frasier one, which is excelent).

I think the idea is fine. Just write it and see what comes out (which is always the hard part).

Mad Swede

OK, having thought about this for a few days.

First, some details. All swords are double edged, otherwise what you've got is a big carving knife. Swords don't weigh all that much (a double handed long sword weighs about as much as an M16 with a full extended magazine), so the knight should win the final fight given that he has the reach on the ex-SF soldier.

Second, what you've described so far is a story not a novel. A novel is supposed to have some message for the reader, which can be about what the protagonist(s) learn about themselves. So what do the knight and the ex-SF soldier learn about themselves? How do their characters develop? Which one do you want to survive? As you've described it the "evil" knight will be the one to win. That isn't a problem, but it does mean that his character has to be both well developed and nuanced - he can't be all evil.


Myth Weaver
I am pretty sure I have seen movies with similar ideas and tone. I am thinking one of the hell boy movies was something like this. But...so what.

My only question is, if he awakens and wipes out New York and DC and Texas...how are some Special Forces guys gonna tackle that. I also might ask some other metaphysical question, like where are the powerful anti-demonic beings, but...

Sounds like there is a story here, and I can think of more than a few directions it can go. I do think Mad Swede makes a good point in, to really connect to something, someone has to grow, and we have to witness it.