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Discussion in 'Introductions' started by kikyo, Jun 18, 2017.

  1. kikyo

    kikyo Dreamer

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    Hello, my name is Amber and I am new to the forum. I'm writing a historical fantasy piece called Memoirs of an Egyptian Queen. Here is a brief description, feel free to give me ideas! If you are interested in helping me edit, I enjoy using Google Docs and would love to interact with you and would help you with your story as well!

    To ensure the purity of the royal bloodline, Hatshepsut has to marry her half brother, Thutmose II. Both are revolted by the idea and devise a plan. They will be able to love freely in secret but in public they will play their roles. Thutmose falls in love with a woman named Amisi. She reveals that she is the bridge for gods and goddesses to communicate through. She gets tricked by an evil deity and has to kill Thutmose and Hatshepsut's first born son or there is a promise of the downfall of Egypt. During the sacrifice ritual, Amisi has a change of heart and kills herself in the hope of saving the child. The evil deity (insert name here) accepts her sacrifice and does not kill the child. However, since the child was promised and delivered, the deity steals him and vanishes to the Underworld. Raised in the lowest and darkest dimension of the universe, Thutmose III becomes something that is not human. He turns into a creature that only knows darkness. Thutmose II leaves the throne and searches for his lost son. He finds Amisi's dead body along with some of his son's belongings and a questionable circle of golden ash. He knew that Amisi spoke to deities so he gathered the ash and sought out anyone else that has communication with higher beings. It was the only way he'd be able to find his son. He travels all over the planet with his loyal companion (insert name here) who is the most knowledgeable linguist in Egypt. After years of searching, they find a priestess in Japan who can speak with deities. When Thutmose gives the priestess the golden ash, she pours the ash into a sacred pond. Her eyes go white as soon as the ash touches the water and she starts shaking uncontrollably until she passes out. When she comes to, she tells them of the deity, his story, and where to find him.
     
  2. CupofJoe

    CupofJoe Myth Weaver

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    Hail and well met kikyo [aka Amber]
    Good to have you here.
    Hope you find this place as helpful and supportive as I do.
     
  3. Rkcapps

    Rkcapps Sage

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    Hi Amber! A very interested lot of twists and turns. The Ancient Egyptians were fascinating.

    Readers want a climax. Do you think you have enough? If not, maybe dial up the conflict even more?

    Welcome aboard!
     
    kikyo likes this.
  4. kikyo

    kikyo Dreamer

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    Thank you, I will dial up the conflict.
     
    Rkcapps likes this.
  5. kikyo

    kikyo Dreamer

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    Thank you, I'm waiting to get promoted so I can do more but I'm liking it so far.
     
  6. kikyo

    kikyo Dreamer

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    Thank you, I'm waiting to get promoted so I can do more but I'm liking it so far.
     
  7. Mythopoet

    Mythopoet Auror

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    Greetings, kikyo! Is your name by any chance a reference to Inuyasha? One of my all time favorite anime. :)

    I'm a little confused by your story description. It doesn't seem to follow any real ancient Egyptian religious belief. For instance, Thutmose II would not have to travel the world to find someone who could speak to deities. The Egyptians believed they could speak directly to their gods through their cult images. So is this an alternate world where Egyptian religion works differently?
     
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