One novel, two genres

[Ireth]

In looking at my drafts and outlines for Low Road, I feel a lot of disconnect between the first half (roughly) of the story and the second. The first half doesn't have much action to it, and is more about characters and their relationships, particularly the hero and his possible love interest. The action part comes in later, and gets a lot more intense once the hero is separated from said love interest and their mutual friend. I'm trying to think of ways to possibly make the first half more action-packed like the second half, but given that those three characters are very isolated for a good chunk of the story and the plot literally comes to them, I'm finding it rather hard. There are indications that all is not right in the world, of course -- the love interest drops hints about the villain as he works through his trauma, but the hero (and the reader) doesn't meet him until the second half. Any idea what I can or should do?

 

[Sparkie]

I speak only for myself on these points.

I don't mind that the action happens later in the story, as long as it actually happens. It sucks when I get through a book and there's no real payoff for what's promised (or implied).

In your case, I suppose I'd recommend trying to maintain some tension in the early part of the novel. You mentioned that there are indications that not all is right in your world, right? Without harping on these, make sure your characters show that these indicators are affecting them. Creating a sense of anticipation, or even dread, can be a good thing here. I think.

Just ignore me if this post is stupid.

 

[Philip Overby]

I'm trying to think of ways to possibly make the first half more action-packed like the second half, but given that those three characters are very isolated for a good chunk of the story and the plot literally comes to them, I'm finding it rather hard. There are indications that all is not right in the world, of course -- the love interest drops hints about the villain as he works through his trauma, but the hero (and the reader) doesn't meet him until the second half. Any idea what I can or should do?

I think that you say "the plot literally comes to them" is indicative of characters that may be a bit too passive early on. The characters should be actively trying to pursue goals from the very beginning and having conflict with those goals early on. It doesn't have to be a lot of action, but if the first half of your book is mostly your characters being "found by the plot," it may put readers off. Try to put some moments of conflict early in the book, whether it's a fight, an argument, a misunderstanding, etc. Just jamming in action for the sake of making the pace faster doesn't seem like the best option. It should all have a greater meaning or relevance to the overall plot. The main character(s) should be actively going along from the beginning in order to avoid them just being dragged into a conflict.

Perhaps all this is addressed in your book, but my suggestion would be for the characters to be put up against conflict from the very beginning instead of the plot "finding them."

 

[Ireth]

I speak only for myself on these points.

I don't mind that the action happens later in the story, as long as it actually happens. It sucks when I get through a book and there's no real payoff for what's promised (or implied).

In your case, I suppose I'd recommend trying to maintain some tension in the early part of the novel. You mentioned that there are indications that not all is right in your world, right? Without harping on these, make sure your characters show that these indicators are affecting them. Creating a sense of anticipation, or even dread, can be a good thing here. I think.

Just ignore me if this post is stupid.

It's not stupid. ^^ You make a good point. The question is how to maintain that tension with the indicators that are set up. The villain, being the one who blinded the love interest and had him dumped in the middle of nowhere where the hero found him, definitely impacted the plot there, though the hero doesn't know it yet.

It'd be nice if the villain's actions tied in more with the hero's story (other than providing him with a companion to care for and fall in love with) before the two meet face to face, but it's doubtful the villain even knows about the hero at that point. True, the love interest could have mentioned the hero's name and location before being tortured, but even so that would only set up other parts of the plot -- specifically the kidnapping of the hero's father for potential vampire noms -- which the hero only runs into later on, since he's all the way across the country when it actually happens. A little more immediate consequence for the hero would be nice.

I think that you say "the plot literally comes to them" is indicative of characters that may be a bit too passive early on. The characters should be actively trying to pursue goals from the very beginning and having conflict with those goals early on. It doesn't have to be a lot of action, but if the first half of your book is mostly your characters being "found by the plot," it may put readers off. Try to put some moments of conflict early in the book, whether it's a fight, an argument, a misunderstanding, etc. Just jamming in action for the sake of making the pace faster doesn't seem like the best option. It should all have a greater meaning or relevance to the overall plot. The main character(s) should be actively going along from the beginning in order to avoid them just being dragged into a conflict.

Perhaps all this is addressed in your book, but my suggestion would be for the characters to be put up against conflict from the very beginning instead of the plot "finding them."

Well, it's not that they don't have goals, per se -- the two vampires want a safe and lasting home, while the ghost wants companionship but is terrified of vampires, and those interests clash. That causes conflict, but it has nothing to do with the antagonist, which is the problem I'm digging at. The external problems only begin when a human clan arrives at the castle and settles in, but that's a good two years after the vampires first get there (if I want to be historically accurate, which I do, at least in this case). I could compress the story so it doesn't take a dozen chapters for the humans to get there, but that would come at the cost of not properly developing the growing relationships between the vampires and their ghost friend over those two years.

 

[Feo Takahari]

Just an idea, but if the issue is one of difference, would it be possible to make the second part less action-packed? (This doesn't necessarily equate to outright removing the violence--rather, if you currently have lengthy fights, you might be able to make them into short, sharp shocks, with more conversation in between them.)

 

[wordwalker]

I think you've put your finger on something here:

The villain, being the one who blinded the love interest and had him dumped in the middle of nowhere where the hero found him, definitely impacted the plot there, though the hero doesn't know it yet.
...
Well, it's not that they don't have goals, per se -- the two vampires want a safe and lasting home, while the ghost wants companionship but is terrified of vampires, and those interests clash. That causes conflict, but it has nothing to do with the antagonist, which is the problem I'm digging at. The external problems only begin when a human clan arrives at the castle and settles in, but that's a good two years after the vampires first get there (if I want to be historically accurate, which I do, at least in this case). I could compress the story so it doesn't take a dozen chapters for the humans to get there, but that would come at the cost of not properly developing the growing relationships between the vampires and their ghost friend over those two years.

It sounds like you've got great ideas, but very separate ones, as defined by how your characters have two sets of goals that don't quite connect with each other. I've got a split a little like this in my WIP (which is called The High Road ), and had to decide if I was really thinking of one book and its sequel, or even a second book with whole new characters interacting with the first's mythology. Because I think if the goals don't connect, the story turns episodic.

To give the story more unity, you might tease out more plot threads from the backstory and the first part, that will lead to the second. It relates to the other discussion you started about how to keep the characters together: what do they want besides to stay in that castle and who they do/don't trust to stay with them, what desires are related to that-- or, what factors might affect whether it's possible? Asking outsiders for help or blocking their interference, things they want to do while staying there or in moving on, immediate clues and effects about people's identities... Goals and subgoals that have to be resolved then, and that resolve in ways that lead to the villain showing up, or at least in specifics of who's ready to do what in respose to him. Goals.

Just an idea, but if the issue is one of difference, would it be possible to make the second part less action-packed? (This doesn't necessarily equate to outright removing the violence--rather, if you currently have lengthy fights, you might be able to make them into short, sharp shocks, with more conversation in between them.)

That might adjust the balance. You could also use flashbacks in the first part --not for the usual exposition (so easy to overuse!!), but momentary glimpses of fights that characters barely survived before, and can't forget. Just to get an armored foot in the door, showing readers that you can also write fight scenes, and will, when the story comes around to it. (Of course, the more you involve characters besides the three early on, the more that plot can depend on actual fights too.)

 

[Shockley]

My response to this problem would probably be to cut out the first part of the work - I don't know how much love and romance between the characters you actually have to show, as love is one of those basic emotions we can kind of click into.

 

[Twook00]

Without having read the story, I'm going to go with Shockley and say it sounds like you could be starting the story too early. Maybe begin closer to the action, roll some of your scenes together and make more with less.

 

[Ireth]

Just an idea, but if the issue is one of difference, would it be possible to make the second part less action-packed? (This doesn't necessarily equate to outright removing the violence--rather, if you currently have lengthy fights, you might be able to make them into short, sharp shocks, with more conversation in between them.)

Here's a rough outline of what happens when the proverbial poop hits the fan:

- human guy tries to kill Ciaran (fight scene!)
- hero chases the guy out of the castle so that doesn't happen (chase!)
- hero almost has human guy by the throat when another vampire swoops in and steals his kill
- other vampire takes hero down to underground city
- hero meets villain and villain's second-in-command
- hero learns more about villain and city
- hero goes among people-eating vampires, is tempted to feed from humans but resists
- hero finds his father among human captives, frees him and is pursued (chase!)
- hero and father lose the pursuing vampires, escape underground city through tunnels
- hero and father make it to the surface, meet minor characters from the start of the story
- villain's cronies find hero, father and minor characters, try to take hero back with them; father and minor chars resist (fight!)
- minor character chases cronies away
- hero and father go back to hero's old home, reunite with hero's mother
- hero goes back to the castle, on the way is found by villain and more cronies (fight!)
- hero flees for his life (chase!), is helped by villain's second-in-command
- V's-S-I-C diverts villain and cronies; hero makes it back to castle, almost kills a human child out of starvation (drama!)
- humans turn on hero; hero makes truce with them
- villain arrives at castle to find hero; hero flees (chase!)
- villain finds hero and love interest, fighting ensues (climax!)

So, yeah. There's a bit of fighting interspersed with other stuff, but it's still much more action-y than the first half.

I think you've put your finger on something here:



It sounds like you've got great ideas, but very separate ones, as defined by how your characters have two sets of goals that don't quite connect with each other. I've got a split a little like this in my WIP (which is called The High Road ), and had to decide if I was really thinking of one book and its sequel, or even a second book with whole new characters interacting with the first's mythology. Because I think if the goals don't connect, the story turns episodic.

Yeah, I was thinking about that just last night after starting the thread. But I'm not sure I could make a whole story out of just the first half.

To give the story more unity, you might tease out more plot threads from the backstory and the first part, that will lead to the second. It relates to the other discussion you started about how to keep the characters together: what do they want besides to stay in that castle and who they do/don't trust to stay with them, what desires are related to that-- or, what factors might affect whether it's possible? Asking outsiders for help or blocking their interference, things they want to do while staying there or in moving on, immediate clues and effects about people's identities... Goals and subgoals that have to be resolved then, and that resolve in ways that lead to the villain showing up, or at least in specifics of who's ready to do what in respose to him. Goals.

Oh, of course. One of the things the vampires do when they are allowed to stay more permanently is to start gathering (i.e. stealing) sheep and cattle to breed their own flocks and herds for food rather than hunting all the time and having to store blood for later. This brings them into contact with minor characters, mostly ticked-off shepherds and farmers. I also plan for the hero to learn how to keep bees, so he can sell honey and beeswax candles to make money to actually buy animals after a while rather than stealing them. The humans who settle in the castle help him with this later on, and the candles in particular become important in the climax.

That might adjust the balance. You could also use flashbacks in the first part --not for the usual exposition (so easy to overuse!!), but momentary glimpses of fights that characters barely survived before, and can't forget. Just to get an armored foot in the door, showing readers that you can also write fight scenes, and will, when the story comes around to it. (Of course, the more you involve characters besides the three early on, the more that plot can depend on actual fights too.)

Good point, though I don't typically use flashbacks in my writing. And the hero, being of the semi-sheltered farmboy variety, might not have seen many fights aside from the standard sibling rivalry. Actual fights would be more likely for the love interest, but I'm still unsure of whether I want to go into his POV at all. And as I said above, there will likely be more characters besides the three, but they'll be minor for the most part.

My response to this problem would probably be to cut out the first part of the work - I don't know how much love and romance between the characters you actually have to show, as love is one of those basic emotions we can kind of click into.

Do you mean just the romance, or the entire first half? I ask because the very beginning of the story, involving the hero being turned into a vampire and meeting the Crone Goddess, is critical to the later plot, particularly the climax. There are also some characters the hero meets between leaving home and finding the castle who become important before the climax. It wouldn't feel right to have those parts introduced in flashback.

 

[Shockley]

I would never endorse cutting out the first half of your book - just finding the things that are redundant and cutting them out.

 

[Ireth]

I would never endorse cutting out the first half of your book - just finding the things that are redundant and cutting them out.

Ah, okay. That makes sense.

 

[wordwalker]

My response to this problem would probably be to cut out the first part of the work - I don't know how much love and romance between the characters you actually have to show, as love is one of those basic emotions we can kind of click into.

Of course, if we're not careful, any writing subject can look either too familiar or too alien . (I had a blog post on this: What I learned from a Sex Scene – Beyond Any Story’s Details) Ireth, I'm sure you know how to break that romance down into usable plot/character building blocks; the trick is how much its blocks are self-contained and refuse to link to the "other half" of the book.

 

[Ireth]

Of course, if we're not careful, any writing subject can look either too familiar or too alien . (I had a blog post on this: What I learned from a Sex Scene – Beyond Any Story’s Details) Ireth, I'm sure you know how to break that romance down into usable plot/character building blocks; the trick is how much its blocks are self-contained and refuse to link to the "other half" of the book.

*nodnod* That's a good point. And I like that blog post.

 

[brokethepoint]

I am reading some books right now where the first part of the book is about the MC learning, growing and developing into the person to confront the evil.

But what he does is interject chapters of the villains and their plotting and planning.

So you enjoy getting to know the MC and you also get the tension of the upcoming battle and what is going to happen.

Maybe something like that will work for you.

 

[Ireth]

I am reading some books right now where the first part of the book is about the MC learning, growing and developing into the person to confront the evil.

But what he does is interject chapters of the villains and their plotting and planning.

So you enjoy getting to know the MC and you also get the tension of the upcoming battle and what is going to happen.

Maybe something like that will work for you.

Possibly... getting into Conall's head will be interesting, and it could be fun to show Ciaran being blinded from Conall's POV, were it not for the massive identity spoilers that would also be inevitable in such a scene. Unless I want to go for dramatic irony and have the hero left in the dark about what the reader already knows... but then there's the risk of him looking like a moron for not figuring it out until it's blatantly pointed out to him. Hmm.

 

[gethinmorgan]

There is always the option of doing a James Bond Teaser - as they do in the movies ... a high action sequence that shows what might eventually happen, and what the main characters are capable of, but only peripherally connected to the story.

Peter Jackson had to do with with LOTR - explaining lots of history, and the battle scene with a young Elrond, Sauron looking all snarky - showing the depth and breadth of the world, the magic and battles, before getting in stuck into some quaint Shire action for an hour.

 

[Twook00]

There is always the option of doing a James Bond Teaser - as they do in the movies ... a high action sequence that shows what might eventually happen, and what the main characters are capable of, but only peripherally connected to the story.

Dan Well's always talks about "The Ice Monster Prologue." In Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin begins the book by showing readers a scene beyond the Wall, where a few men of the Night's Watch come into contact with the Others (Ice Monster's). The rest of the book is about the Stark family and becomes more of a fantasy soap opera (which is pretty slow in comparison), but the reader knows that the Others will be seen again eventually, so they keep reading. So in a way, it works as a bridge.

 

[Ireth]

There is always the option of doing a James Bond Teaser - as they do in the movies ... a high action sequence that shows what might eventually happen, and what the main characters are capable of, but only peripherally connected to the story.

Peter Jackson had to do with with LOTR - explaining lots of history, and the battle scene with a young Elrond, Sauron looking all snarky - showing the depth and breadth of the world, the magic and battles, before getting in stuck into some quaint Shire action for an hour.

Dan Well's always talks about "The Ice Monster Prologue." In Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin begins the book by showing readers a scene beyond the Wall, where a few men of the Night's Watch come into contact with the Others (Ice Monster's). The rest of the book is about the Stark family and becomes more of a fantasy soap opera (which is pretty slow in comparison), but the reader knows that the Others will be seen again eventually, so they keep reading. So in a way, it works as a bridge.

Both good points, though these examples are very different. The LOTR movie prologue sets up history and backstory thousands of years in the past, whereas the GoT prologue is closer to the present. I wouldn't say the LOTR example is "only peripherally" connected to the main story -- quite the opposite, it's the foundation for it. And it didn't really show the capabilities of the main characters, except maybe Elrond.

I'm not sure the teaser approach would work with my story, since I tend to stick with chronological order, no flashbacks or flash-forwards. I read a book recently that started at a certain point, then skipped back to six weeks earlier and worked its way toward that point in time, which happens in the middle of the story, then goes on to the climax and ending. It seriously annoyed me, since the actual beginning of the story, six weeks prior, was just as interesting as the point that was started with, and I couldn't see why the author didn't just go with proper chronology in the first place -- it would have been much less confusing that way. And in my opinion, showing what *might* eventually happen seems like it'd be disappointing when the actual story turns out differently.