Pursuit Scenes

[Butterfly]

I've come to the point where I need to write a chase scene. Three guys are running for their lives from a group of renegades trying to kill them. They are on a mountain and have go through about two miles of forest to reach the safety of allies.

I'm a bit stuck on what I should be focusing on during the run, i.e how the landscape and the chase will affect them, and how much I should write of the run. They are all on foot, two are armed with swords, one unarmed, the pursuers prefer knives, daggers and staffs. Somehow, it doesn't feel right to have them run and reach safety without something happening in between.

I've thought about a fight, but they are good runners, and ahead of their pursuers. For them to catch them up, there needs to be an obstacle, plus in between them bolting and fighting they cross an amount of ground.

Any advice, or help available?

 

[Terry Greer]

You're right - always make it more complex.
A ravine/cliff/frozen lake etc between them and safety. Maybee somebody just isn't fit enough to run and something else has to happen (hide and try anmd take out one of their followers) - but avoid the cliche - trip and sprain/break ankle/leg etc.
It's almost like a link of 'but then...' statements where reversals keep happening swinging the advantage between the pursuers and pursued.

Maybee tghey get away for a while - but the pursuers return - it has to oscillate between threat and relief.

 

[wordwalker]

I sometimes think a good chase is my default scene to write, so I've got a few ideas.

The big one is, how big and important a scene should this be? It could be a page or less with good description if it's more a transition to better scenes, or could be a 5,000-word chapter or a trigger for characters getting separated and having all kinds of adventures on their own. It comes down to pacing-- and also, how much need do you have to develop character or reveal plot points right now, that can make this about more than speed.

Like Terry said, terrain is a major issue, especially since the pursuers may not need to catch up but just get close enough for a clear shot with, say, a thrown axe. (They sound like thugs that didn't bring bows or spears, and thrown knives are a joke.) Still, terrain is tricky in a chase because it's hard to make it not seem like "Well, the path slows them down when I need to and smoothes out just in time."

The best key might be your heroes. Would one argue about staying behind to decoy or hold off the enemy, or that they all stop and hide rather than run? Does the one in the lead insist on taking a "short cut" and nearly get them trapped? Think of how each person is different in what they want and what assumptions they make in going after it, and how even the smallest differences can get played up if something happens that forces a decision RIGHT NOW.

Chases seem like they're a dime a dozen. But really, anything can happen in them.

 

[MineOwnKing]

If they split up it might help.

Or one could stay and fight while the other two run.

Or one could give up and give false information to aid the other two.

Giant eagles?

 

[Butterfly]

It's almost like a link of 'but then...' statements where reversals keep happening swinging the advantage between the pursuers and pursued.

Maybee they get away for a while - but the pursuers return - it has to oscillate between threat and relief.

The swinging advantage is a great idea. I've thought about the whole scene a bit more since everyone's posted.

At the moment they are being herded into a bigger ambush and will end up having to fight their way out, but they don't know this as they run.

 

[Butterfly]

The big one is, how big and important a scene should this be? It could be a page or less with good description if it's more a transition to better scenes, or could be a 5,000-word chapter or a trigger for characters getting separated and having all kinds of adventures on their own. It comes down to pacing-- and also, how much need do you have to develop character or reveal plot points right now, that can make this about more than speed.

Like Terry said, terrain is a major issue, especially since the pursuers may not need to catch up but just get close enough for a clear shot with, say, a thrown axe. (They sound like thugs that didn't bring bows or spears, and thrown knives are a joke.) Still, terrain is tricky in a chase because it's hard to make it not seem like "Well, the path slows them down when I need to and smoothes out just in time."

The best key might be your heroes. Would one argue about staying behind to decoy or hold off the enemy, or that they all stop and hide rather than run? Does the one in the lead insist on taking a "short cut" and nearly get them trapped? Think of how each person is different in what they want and what assumptions they make in going after it, and how even the smallest differences can get played up if something happens that forces a decision RIGHT NOW.

Chases seem like they're a dime a dozen. But really, anything can happen in them.

I think I need a couple of pages for it. Essentially, It's an escape from a cult. There are a lot of people out chasing them down, hiding wouldn't be an option. One on their own would not stand a chance. But maybe they could separate off, and divided the chasers. I have two POV characters in the running group, none in the hunting group. There is a fourth character in the forest who has already been caught and left for dead and hasn't crossed with the others yet. So their paths need to cross somehow.

It's a complex scene that brings several character paths together. I think that's why I'm having trouble with it.

 

[Butterfly]

If they split up it might help.

Or one could stay and fight while the other two run.

Or one could give up and give false information to aid the other two.

Giant eagles?

I'm afraid giant eagles are not an option here. But maybe, some of those allies could move into the rescue...

 

[MineOwnKing]

Movies can be helpful.

Apocalypto has a great chase scene, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid....'Damn, who are those guys?!'

 

[wordwalker]

It's a complex scene that brings several character paths together. I think that's why I'm having trouble with it.

The best kind, a real workout for the writer.

The trick can be seeing how each plot thread needs to collide with the rest in the end... then making it work and build suspense in its own right... while not ruining the logic of the other threads (maybe even hinting at and interacting with them) before they really come together. It's not easy, but it's so worth it.

 

[Zephyr]

How fit are these guys. Maybe you could have one who is not so good a long distance runner, and begins to fall behind, losing his friends... panicking?

 

[Butterfly]

The running shouldn't be a problem for any of them. Although one of them has already been beaten up. Maybe I could give him cracked ribs, or something... Stop him breathing, make him struggle...

 

[Penpilot]

IMHO if the chase doesn't develop plot, character, or world, you might as well just do a quick transition and get to their destination. Because action for action sake tends to be boring.

Otherwise, I think of a chase scene as a story in itself, with the essential parts of a story present in one form or another: inciting incident, transition into second act, midpoint climax, transition into third act, climax, etc.

If you think of it as an unfolding story and use that as a guide to choosing what to show and what they encounter it will probably make your choices easier. Also it will make your choices less arbitrary if you think of this as an opportunity to not just have a chase scene, but to expand the world by showing glimpses of it as they run and develop character as they react to the problems they encounter.

EG.

Does one of them refuse to slow down when the other's can't keep up, or do they all slow down so they don't leave the slowest one behind?

Maybe they spots plants that might aid them in some way or they recognises familiar terrain or terrain that reminds them of other places. Maybe they have a goal of reaching familiar territory where one of them knows places to hide. Maybe one of them mumbles a song to help him keep his running rhythm.

What you show also depends on what type of chase it is. Is it a quick one that last less than an hour or is it a prolonged one that lasts for days? Is it a straight pursuit or is there strategy involved? Obviously this is also dependant on your character's and what their strengths are.

What ever their strengths are, IMHO, find things that hampers them the most and throw that in their way. OR make what ever advantages they have irrelevant or minimize them. Put your characters eyebrow deep in the crap and you'll find out who they really are by the way they respond.

Again, make what ever issues they encounter during the pursuit mean something, either developing plot, character, or world and the reader will be invested.

 

[Saigonnus]

The running shouldn't be a problem for any of them. Although one of them has already been beaten up. Maybe I could give him cracked ribs, or something... Stop him breathing, make him struggle...

Maybe he stays behind and sacrifices himself so the others escape. Could be a good time for a brutal death in the name of al that is good.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I concur with Penpilot. If the scene itself is action for action's sake (meaning nothing but running and dodging happens, or maybe an obstacle to throw in the wrench, it's probably better to summarize it.

There are scenes that require a microscope, detailing every small thing that happens, for the sake of tension and pacing, and other scenes just need the telescope to give them perspective, but don't need every detail.

If your goal is to have tense, personal, plot-driving things happen during the fleeing, use the microscope. Have a character land in a gorge, get caught up in brambles, or fall through the ice in a swamp and suffer the beginning effects of hypothermia, meet a bear, etc.. That would allow you to do character development and establish more about the people and how they relate.

If the characters literally run through the woods and just dodge obstacles, it can work for tension, but I agree, it comes off as rather pointless if there isn't a plot exploration in the mix. Maybe two characters get cut off from the third. Maybe they split up and one finds himself in a bind, but another character comes to his aid (or the converse, leaves him to fend for himself while making good his getaway).

Each scene of a book has to serve a deeper purpose to the overall plot.

here's some ideas from my own work:

1). I wrote a flight in the night with pursuers far behind a group of three, one of them a young boy. The pace of their flight was hampered by worn mounts, and it took two days for the pursuers to catch up. During the first nighttime run, I had the MC mention he cut loose the pursuers horses, driving them out into the forest, to give them a head start, but he KNEW the men wouldn't give up. I felt that created tension, and then the plot carried on from "we're running" to "when are they going to catch up, and can we make it to safety before they do." The pursuers caught up as they slept, mostly for the benefit of the boy, who wasn't able to keep his stamina up. When the pursuers finally caught them, the mercenary in the group (the only person able to wield a weapon), he engaged the four pursuers and almost dies in the process. The girl mage in my group sees her guard about to die and she casts a spell that darn near knocks her into a coma (because it was too powerful for her to cat). That became a really important plot point because after, she's rather helpless, clinging to consciousness, but she killed the guy about to kill her guard and friend. The mercenary has to drag her to safety after the pursuit is ended, but he has to make a difficult decision to send the boy back home (because he cannot carry two basically useless charges, and the girl needs his help more desperately). In the end, they figure out the boy was captured and is being held by enemies later in the story.

So, yeah, that one had to do with plot elements that were important, so I didn't summarize it. I did, however, limit the amount of "running" that earned page time.

2). I had two characters outrun some guards one time, and the scene went like this: A young lady mage and young man thief were in her father's home, the thief explaining he was there to escort the girl to safety because she was in danger and he'd just sprung her friends from jail with the help of another guy (brother to one of the people imprisoned). So before the conversation with the girl's father is concluded, the guards bang on the door of the cottage and demand the father open up. He tells the youths to flee upstairs, so he can talk to the guards. But instead of talk, the guard kills the father (the MCs don't see what happen, but hear it) and the kids upstairs dive out a window. During their summarized flight, the girl leads the thief into the forest she knows so well, and the soldiers aren't able to catch up, since they're armored and not spry youngsters. When they reach a relative safe spot, the thief doesn't want to speak, because he is alone with a young woman who just listened to her father die, and he's not sure how to handle the situation. So again, the flight is less important than the plot elements of dead father, run for their lives, reach safety, and not sure what to do next. I wanted the scene to have a sort of underlying question: What do you do if you just tried to save someone you've never met before, and a tragic thing like that happens? Do you take her to an orphanage? Do you leave her in the forest, saying, "Well now that you're safe, see ya."? Do you kinda have a sort of immediate bond with the person? Do you owe her something?

3). In another story, I have a pair of prisoners who break out of a dungeon, both wounded, and the male MC takes the female MC to his safe house in the city. She's badly wounded and needs to recuperate, and he needs her because she's got a secret he needs to investigate. He doesn't tell her why he's taking her with him. They hide out in the inn and the scenes that happen there are really critical to the future plot too. The actual "running" is again sort of summarized, except for a brief stop they make, then the scene leads to the inn, where i pull out the microscope again.

4). In another story, I have a man at the gallows and he's freed (after his stool is kicked and he's hanging) by his friends, who cut him down. They flee after a brief fight with weapons and the man is recovered enough to run. They flee down some alleys, climb a wall (which serves a plot point) and they reach a forgotten stable where one of the friends has three horses and three cloaks stashed, so they can ride out the gates. The chase isn't very detailed, only the plot-pertinent elements. I summarize everything between them finding the horses and reaching their safe house in a paragraph.


Hope that helps you to make decisions. I think chases for me are better summarized in part, because I tend to feel like it can become belabored and tedious very quickly. The last thing I think a writer ought to do is spend time and words describing things like distance, time, scenery, or physical exhaustion. I've read some pretty awful chase scenes that went something like: "The horseman spurred his steed and was twenty feet behind, closing the distance faster than MC could imagine." YUK! that kind of description and detail doesn't add tension, doesn't really say anything about the character, and certainly doesn't read as interesting. If you do feel the need to describe the chase itself, I'd try something more like: "Thirty yards, twenty--the edge of the bridge came closer. He'd have to jump and could only hope his legs still retained enough strength to clear the gap. A branch snapped behind him, telling him the man on his tail had closed some distance. Nope, no choice at all. Face the pursuer's sword, or leap the broken bridge and risk falling into the roiling, rain-swollen river below. It wasn't even a choice, really. With his sword lost in the forest, he'd have to make the jump."

The details should feel personal and immediate, and the pacing should reflect those thoughts only most pertinent. I think the problem is where the writing gets too technical (like a bad fight scene), focusing more on what I call "statistical details" than on the feelings of the MC.

I think planning your obstacles is really important here, and if you don't feel confident in the execution, you could always have someone read it and give you a crit on how effective it is

Best wishes.

 

[stephenspower]

You might not think of it as a chase. Think of it as something essential happening duringa chase.

Also, to ground the chase, give concrete landmarks and a goal for the reader to focus on, the way Dora the Explorer would have to go over the bridge, pass the well and up the mountain to the old tomb. You can then build moments in the chase around each landmark or the now defined spaces between them.

 

[spectre]

What kind of climate are you in? You could consider the possibility of the unexpected animal encounter, bears, snakes, some mythic beast of the land that perhaps ensues them and their pursuers at some point.

There again the answer of terrain, mountains, i.e. boulders. Boulders meets timber? Shale?

What time of day is it? Again this could lead to climate/beast encounters. I heard somewhere snakes are particularly nastily tempered at night, and of course harder to see. Beast wise there's always the Hunger Games route too ---BEES, OPRAH'S GOT BEES--.

Equally important is your tone. It's a chase and I think the film term is high octane, you know the adrenaline view of a soldier navigating the trenches. Two fatigued warriors beckoning their comrade to keep up, that sort of thing.

Also, how are you character's tempered? What would they do given the situation? Have they made the logical decision to flee to safety, are they persistent in their ventures and want their pursuers gone? In other words would they turn to fight, would they run? It isn't a last stand kind of deal with safety two miles off, so there's an opportunity to introduce new character mindsets in this scene.