DragonOfTheAerie
Vala
^yes, I had yet another anxiety attack
^Super kitty hugs for you.
While not completely incomprehensible, that genuinely lost my attention (and subject-predicate matching ability) halfway through. Two or three long sentences could have had the same effect... The style could certainly be read, I'd just hope the author put no really important information in the middle of a knot like that. Wonder if they had an editor.
@Nimue & BSA:
Ok, here it is. A guy is on a battlefield, contemplating his death (some smaller sentences before this. Also, technically, another whole introductory passage in italics.)
It started tame enough, with nothing more than a bullet in the head, quick and painless, though he reasoned someone with fortune enough to die from a bullet in the head hardly ever ended up in frontline infantry where there were mines to contend with, where the odds of stepping on a mine were considerably high--seeing as how two of his good friends, though not particularly good soldiers, had gone that way not hours ago--which could be reasonably painful depending on how his bodily pieces were divided by the explosion, but then he was almost sure he wasn't even lucky enough to go out in a "blaze of glory"--as they'd taken to calling it in an effort at making them all feel better about the prospect of being blown to bits--and more and more of his blood brothers had been giving it up to septic shock, which was common and likely enough, but far too morbidly humiliating for him to handle, and, anyway, he really had the sense he was going to bite it from something completely outrageous, unheard of, ridiculous, like choking on a chicken bone, but that was also too humiliating for him to handle, and completely unreasonable since they hadn't even seen a [f-ing] chicken in...how long had it been now?
I may have miscounted before; I was at work. Why browsing at work for new books to read? Heh, don't ask. But I'm too exhausted after typing that out to do another count...
The guy is on a battlefield, and I think this is an attempt to show his frantic, wandering mind.
If you open the preview up, you can see there are a LOT of large paragraphs and sentences. Author is fond of lots of "which" and "though," always modifying a thought with some additional phrasing. So reading it is...interesting. On the one hand, it seems very flabby. On the other, I wonder if I could let myself just roll with it and see how the story goes. The kindle version was listed as free for some reason, so I went ahead and downloaded and may give it a try out of sheer curiosity. (Link for the curious. Warning: Has a gay theme and/or romance, so if that bothers you, don't bother...)
See here, if how much I am looking forward to the rest of your elf story is any indication...you have a lot to give, Chess. Bother because you have the power to delight people--you do!Sometimes I look at my writing and think, wow I totally suck why do I even bother? oop:
I am more worried by the people that look at their writing and think I totally ROCK!!!!:running::running::running:Sometimes I look at my writing and think, wow I totally suck why do I even bother? oop:
I am more worried by the people that look at their writing and think I totally ROCK!!!!:running::running::running:
They are the ones that scare me....
That is not always a bad thing. I do that too.I alternate between the two...
I've never been to a writer's convention.
Going to my first writer's convention next month. Should be... interesting. Not sure what to expect.
One of the best things about it will be that some of my writing friends are going to attend as well, so I'll be meeting them in person for the first time.
I'm more or less friendly, but I would never describe myself as a 'people person', so I can't say for sure whether this experience will ultimately be a good one or not. Only one way to find out...
Which one? I have been to a ton. Some of them are fantastic. Just getting tougher with so many like minded people can be a very uplifting experience.
I did that birthday not too long ago myself. Had a great time and feel better than ever now.